Michael_W Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 So it's about teaching boys how to negotiate consent and that having sex when the female/male is totally inebriated - constitutes rape ---------- Post added 23-04-2015 at 19:52 ---------- Exactly.......... We have trouble teaching basic mathematics, please give us your wisdom on teaching boys how to negotiate consent ...... by the way opportunists don't tend to negotiate consent IMHO ! I'm all for people trying these ideas of course ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solomon1 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 bad people do bad things to good people for no reason other than they can ? This is a complete misnomer Lets be clear here about who commits rape Most rapists are men. And most rapists are known to the men/women/kids they are raping. Believing that they are some fictitious bogey man hiding in the cupboard does the victims of rape absolutely no good whatsoever. Rapists are the men we know in our lives Most rapists are not bad people - most of them are husbands, boyfriends, colleagues This is an EDUCATIONAL ISSUE, more than anything else Boys - How to respect and care and not take advantage of the vulnerable Girls/Boys - That their bodies are their own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael_W Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 This is a complete misnomer Lets be clear here about who commits rape Most rapists are men. And most rapists are known to the men/women/kids they are raping. Believing that they are some fictitious bogey man hiding in the cupboard does the victims of rape absolutely no good whatsoever. Rapists are the men we know in our lives Most rapists are not bad people - most of them are husbands, boyfriends, colleagues This is an EDUCATIONAL ISSUE, more than anything else Boys - How to respect and care and not take advantage of the vulnerable Girls/Boys - That their bodies are their own Not always ! With regards to educating, it needs to start with basic respect for everyone from a very early age, sadly many won't get that from their parents, siblings or teachers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solomon1 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) please give us your wisdom on teaching boys how to negotiate consent Of course Off the top of my head: First of all, I would teach boys and girls from a young age, the anatomically correct terms for ALL of their body parts. Heads, shoulders, penis, testicles, vagina, clitoris, knees and toes. Statistically, kids who know how to name the WHOLE of their bodies - are less likely to be abused. Ownership is half the battle and we are sadly failing our girls in this respect. Secondly, I would teach boys and girls about masturbation from a young age. With the same routine as cookery class - no religious or cultural shame. Girls are still far behind boys on how to satisfy their own sexual needs - female sexuality is largely ignored in mainstream media. Because of the external nature of male genitalia, boys, usually, have discovered their own sexuality from a very young age. Girls need some help discovering their own sexuality. Thirdly, I would teach kids how to love and accept themselves. This is key in how we treat other human beings. Men/boys who rape fall into so many different categories. But a significant percentage are minimally self aware. Fourthly, I would teach kids about relationship. About bonding, trust, respect, honesty, nurturing. How to be a good friend, is essential. If kids had all of the above, I'm pretty sure the incidence of rape would drastically drop in a generation. Edited April 23, 2015 by Solomon1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthenekred Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 The fact that women are being told how to change their behavior is the 1st step to blaming them for then ignoring that advice. Especially when that behavior is difficult to define. If they were to set or adjust their behavior to counter the set of behavioral traits rapists, abusers and predators use then advising them to stay in doors would be more applicable...even then they're not safe. Rules do not apply to predators, only to victims. "Judge Mary Jane Mowat, who chose the occasion of her retirement to express her thoughts on how the rape conviction rate will only improve when women “stop getting drunk”. In a country where most rape victims are raped when sober and by someone they know, surely such a statement encapsulates the very nature of victim-blaming?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solomon1 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Not always ! Considering the sheer volume of rape cases I am 100% sure you will know more than one rapist, Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootsBooster Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) The key difference in Morrisons is that they warn everyone. They don't target a particular group. Morrisons certainly don't warn everyone, they are targeting a specific group It does mean that you can blame the victim when they forget to lock the door though, or when they don't have the best lock and so it's easily bypassed. Could you explain this one in a little more detail? And of course saying "lock your doors" is not the equivalent of saying "don't wear short skirts". The equivalent would be telling victims of theft not to have nice things. Who has been telling people not to wear short skirts? They don't advise only women to lock their doors. And they don't tell home owners not to make their home look pretty! Of course not, they advise only home owners and tenants to lock their doors. That's the target demographic most at risk. ---------- Post added 23-04-2015 at 20:56 ---------- You can't advise someone who can't be burgled on ways to avoid burglary. Presumably though people who rent are also advised, not just home owners. The fact that women are being told how to change their behaviour is the 1st step to blaming them for then ignoring that advice. Who is telling women to change their behaviour? Also, slippery slope Edited April 23, 2015 by RootsBooster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olive Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 The fact that women are being told how to change their behaviour is the 1st step to blaming them for then ignoring that advice. Depends on what behaviour they're been advised to change. Going back to me having a word with my 20 year old self - I would tell myself to go ahead, go out, have a ball, wear what you like. But don't overdo the snakebites, you'll make bad decisions, and don't bugger off home on your own without telling anyone. Would you suggest different advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obelix Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Again we're drifting off topic. This is what I just said to woodmallyWe seem to be blaming everyone except the perpetrators of crimes, I'd like to blame the perpetrators for a change. That's an analogy and it's not "off topic" but we are going to hide behind that line then there really isn't any reason continuing the discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootsBooster Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 We tell our daughters to be careful, act properly, and dress correctly when they go out, we tell our sons to have fun when they go out. Maybe it's this distinction that's underpins the debate? Maybe some girls want to have fun like their brothers and not worry about being careful, acting properly and dressing correctly? Speak for yourself, I advise both my son and my wife to have fun and be careful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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