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Dear Forum.. Are online messaging and texts infidelity?


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There's a massive body of evidence that they do. Don't try and tar all men with your limited sexuality.

 

Nah - most men like a younger model. You are wrong. Obviously not all there are some gerontophiles (sp??) around. I think they're a little odd frankly.

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Nah - most men like a younger model. You are wrong. Obviously not all there are some gerontophiles (sp??) around. I think they're a little odd frankly.

 

No more odd than older men in relationships secretly watching girls (younger model) in school uniform and getting off.

I think you've been watching to much porn and believing the fantasy is the bedrock of how relationships work. Seriously it isn't.

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Nah - most men like a younger model. You are wrong. Obviously not all there are some gerontophiles (sp??) around. I think they're a little odd frankly.

 

I think men that can't see the inner beaut of a person a very odd!! My Mrs is 4 years older than me. She looks the same age, if not younger, thanks to my greying hair!

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dear forum

 

please help. advice needed.

the story is long and complicated so will try and keep it short and sweet.

 

my partner has been texting other people dirty messages. very in depth. when confronted about this my parter said that it was fun and nothing physical has happened.

they are around my partner quite often.

i dont know what the best thing is to do.

my partner says they love me but do they if they can do this?

also how do you ever know if they will do it again or even if its true that nothing physical has happened?

its also known that my partner constantly puts me down to these people. if they cared would they?

does this mean my partner will think its ok to take things further if it hasnt already happened?

 

any advice would be appreciated.

A bit of flirting is harmless and you shouldnt worry about it. The fact he puts you down leads me to believe hes trying to get his end away with someone and slagging you off is part of the process. Is he telling people you are mean to him? You dont put out? Youre a terrible cook? Whats the nature of the put downs?

Personally if my partner was slagging me off id kick them to the curb. Theres no need for it.

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the definition of moron is

 

A person of mild mental retardation having a mental age of from 7 to 12 years and generally having communication and social skills enabling some degree of academic or vocational education

 

which doesn't relate to their confidence, aggressiveness or ability to use a compass.

 

Perhaps the kind of individual I had in mind, may best be described as Jerk or an A-hole; often they are lacking in mental capacity, so perhaps 'Moron' isn't a million miles away!

 

Oh, and a moral compass isn't a real compass Andy, it's a metaphor.

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I would never dream of running my OH down to other people and I know he would feel exactly the same, and both of us would find it deeply offensive if we found out that the other was being derogatory towards us to anybody.

 

Equally, if I was being explicitly sexual with someone else (not just flirting) in messages then I would expect my OH to be upset, angry and hurt if he found out about them and I'd expect to be single very soon thereafter. As far as I'm concerned it crosses a line- it may not mean anything to him, but he really cannot expect it to mean nothing to you just because it means nothing to him. You are a separate person to him and you have your own feelings and morals- and there is no reason at all that they have to be the same as his. Anybody who loves you will take the time to learn and work with your feelings and morals as well as their own.

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I would never dream of running my OH down to other people and I know he would feel exactly the same, and both of us would find it deeply offensive if we found out that the other was being derogatory towards us to anybody.

 

Equally, if I was being explicitly sexual with someone else (not just flirting) in messages then I would expect my OH to be upset, angry and hurt if he found out about them and I'd expect to be single very soon thereafter. As far as I'm concerned it crosses a line- it may not mean anything to him, but he really cannot expect it to mean nothing to you just because it means nothing to him. You are a separate person to him and you have your own feelings and morals- and there is no reason at all that they have to be the same as his. Anybody who loves you will take the time to learn and work with your feelings and morals as well as their own.

 

Which in essence sums up respect.

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In my younger days I've had this done to me and it feels horrible, makes you lose you confidence and basically feel like rubbish.

 

Depending on how bad the texts were I'd say give your self esteem a boost and get rid of your partner. Don't waste your time with someone that treats you like that, they blatantly don't respect you and cannot be trusted.

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Depending on how bad the texts were I'd say give your self esteem a boost and get rid of your partner. Don't waste your time with someone that treats you like that, they blatantly don't respect you and cannot be trusted.

yep.

 

Even if nothing physical has happened yet between them, what if the 3rd party gives your partner the green light for something more? Will he/she be tempted?

 

It would cause me immense ill feeling all round, and I would get rid

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