Babooshka Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 Earlier this year I was asked out by someone. I immediately told him I had a child. He ran a mile. I had to laugh. He has barely spoken to me since. Think he feels guilty. Ha ha. Does not bother me. I agree with him. If I was single, without children, I probably would not be going out with someone who does have children. Having said that, that was more my attitude when I was a bit younger. I think it is great that they are honest, to be fair. Since that guy, there have been a few others who were the same. It is fair enough, in my opinion, for someone to not want to date 'you and your kids'. The only men I have come across who DON'T mind dating a girl with children, are men who have children themselves. Seems fair enough, to me. Anyway, it's not a problem. I have neither the time, funds nor desire for dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matssundin13 Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 evey lad that ive told iv son a son doesnt wanna kno! Earlier this year I was asked out by someone. I immediately told him I had a child. He ran a mile. I had to laugh. He has barely spoken to me since. Think he feels guilty. Ha ha. Does not bother me. I agree with him. If I was single, without children, I probably would not be going out with someone who does have children. Having said that, that was more my attitude when I was a bit younger. I think it is great that they are honest, to be fair. Since that guy, there have been a few others who were the same. It is fair enough, in my opinion, for someone to not want to date 'you and your kids'. The only men I have come across who DON'T mind dating a girl with children, are men who have children themselves. Seems fair enough, to me. Anyway, it's not a problem. I have neither the time, funds nor desire for dating. Everyone I know would be horrified at the thought of not going out with a woman because of a child, a lot of my mates see the woman for who she is. If you have a child, I don't see why it would put someone off and it certainly wouldn't put me off. The only people who may be put off obviously aren't worth being in a relationship with anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katy1981 Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 hi any single parents out there find it hard when you have children been on odd dates before they no you have children then they dont want to no would be nice just to meet someone so we could all go out as a family which my ex never wanted to do hes just took kids on holiday with girlfriend for 5 days but been lost without them anyway anyone been in same situation firstly id focus on meeting someone who you like/get on with and who doesnt mind you having kids and not thinking too far ahead as in goin out as a family, as this may scare some men off and when you do meet the above id focus on building a relationship with them first before planning any family type outings. and i wouldnt focus too much on what your ex never did cos all you will end up doin is putting too much pressure on your next or potential relationship. are you looking for someone for you because you want to or are you looking for someone to play happy familys with? please dont take offence to this im not tryin to have a go or anything its just in your post it seems your main focus is on going out as a family and being a family as apposed to you wanting to meet someone for you, think about it for a man without any kids this prospect may scare the cr@p out of him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northrend Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I guess it depends on where people want to go. I have told many a person I have 2 daughters and even though they don't live here I have been told no. This by people who clearly put " Yes and they live away from home" as one of their " should he have kids" option. I totally agree with what Mats has said. I mean what else can you do?.. I hope my ex ends up with a good guy who will not only understand that the children are mine and not his but also look after them as if they were his own. That makes sense to me anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matssundin13 Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I totally agree with what Mats has said. I mean what else can you do?.. I hope my ex ends up with a good guy who will not only understand that the children are mine and not his but also look after them as if they were his own. That makes sense to me anyway. Totally agree with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northrend Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 firstly id focus on meeting someone who you like/get on with and who doesnt mind you having kids and not thinking too far ahead as in goin out as a family, as this may scare some men off and when you do meet the above id focus on building a relationship with them first before planning any family type outings. and i wouldnt focus too much on what your ex never did cos all you will end up doin is putting too much pressure on your next or potential relationship. are you looking for someone for you because you want to or are you looking for someone to play happy familys with? please dont take offence to this im not tryin to have a go or anything its just in your post it seems your main focus is on going out as a family and being a family as apposed to you wanting to meet someone for you, think about it for a man without any kids this prospect may scare the cr@p out of him! Yes I totally agree with this too. I have friends who have said if their dates had told them they had kids after seeing them a few times they would understand!" But for some of us that's a mild form of lying.. I looked for ages, went on various dating websites, even saw my ex on one! but then I stopped and pulled myself totally offline. Within a few weeks I suddenly found I had someone interested in me. It's true what they say about not looking and it finds you. I went to the gym last night and ended up chatting to some lass as we ran on treadmills. You just never know when or where you will meet someone and they could be the right person for you ( she was just a chat though) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northrend Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 And to add one more view (and then I will shut up ) A lot of my friends who are like 25-26 say to me " I could never be with someone who has kids" but then when I say to them " well, how would you feel if you met the perfect guy. had 2 kids and then at my age they left you?" Would you not be in the same situation I am in? I've never had a response on that one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey lover Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 Been there twice. First time I didn't have kids of my own but it really never bothered me. The second time I'd already got a son of my own so it just seemed natural. Guess it depends on the person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxforcefive Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I don't think anyone's been put off by the fact that I have children, whether they have or not. If I didn't have kids there's no way on earth I'd be interested in a man who had them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmysdad Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 How about people having a relationship and making sure that you are right for each other and maybe getting married BEFORE having kids... I know it's a wild idea but it may have legs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.