Dear Forum.. how do you cope with the feelings when an abuser dies?

[Hesther]

I think it might be useful to talk things through with someone. Perhaps a total outsider. The forum is useful for this sort of thing, especially with so many caring contributors, like the ones above.

 

It is not uncommon to feel relief when an abuser dies. An internet search reveals that....

 

https://www.google.co.uk/?gfe_rd=cr&ei=KDahVp3bCfDH8gey9aXQDA&gws_rd=ssl#q=when+an+abuser+dies

 

I would be tempted maybe to contact one of the charitable organisations that might help discuss your feeling with you, either over the phone or face to face.

[wornout53]

I have been in a similar situation.......my abuser died and I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. No one can tell you how to feel because they are not in your shoes.

Take each day as it comes...don't try to over analyse how you feel and don't listen to how others say you should feel/ act .

The emotions you will go through will range from relief to grief and back again. I found that after a few months my brain sorted itself out and I could see that for me it was a type of closure....a chance to put the abuse where it belonged...in the past. Find someone you can talk to.....someone you can be honest with be it a friend, family member or a counselor and talk about it all.

I wish you the very best now and as you work your way through things.

[ihpb]

Everyone in your family will deal with grief differently with them at different parts of the process of denial, numbness, shock, bargaining, depression, anger & acceptance.

 

Try not to judge them too and help them by not overworking or avoiding emotions or minimizing feelings. Allow time to experience thoughts and feelings openly or write journal entries. Confide in a trusted person and acknowledge both positive and negative feelings without judging yourself.

[x-GiGgLeS-x]

Do people know this person abused you?

I think you need people around you to support you and don't worry about anyone else's feelings