How much time with your partner is enough?

[NigelFargate]

It would be interesting to know the statistics relating to the percentage of break-ups among couples who work together and who, therefore, are together for most of the day and night.

 

Even with couples who do not, there is surely, only a limited amount of new and interesting things to tell each other and to keep the relationship fresh and vibrant.

 

In previous eras, the primary motivations for couples to stay together were probably a combination of economic necessity and the responsibilities relating to child rearing.

 

There are of course strategies to avoid the claustrophobic 'cabin fever' syndrome associated with day in, day out relationships, but implementing them successfully is difficult.

[herbalharry]

If you cant live together harmoniously forget it. Thats the litmus test.

[vwkittie]

There's no 'correct' answer, every couple if different I guess.

 

Personally though my partner and I spend pretty much all our time together when not at work. On very odd occasions I'll go to the pub after work without him (only as he'd get bored with shop talk) and he might visit a friend without me but that's it.

 

We've been like that since the very day we met, from day 1 we never spent more than a day or so apart even though we lived in different cities at the time.

 

I did once spend a week at my mum's without him, I missed him terribly

 

I'm not sure I could work with him as well though, that'd probably be taking it a step too far!

[L00b]

There is no straightforward "right" or "wrong" answer to the OP's question, since it's always going to be a function of the couple's respective personalities and their compatibility (or otherwise).

 

I've been a couple with Mrs L00b for 23 years this year, 20 of that married (...must-not-forget-to-do-something-special-this-year ).

 

In that time, we had approximately 2 years apart (in very long stretches, months at a time) right at the start (1st year as I completed my studies overseas, and 4th year when I completed my national service), and there's been semi-regular week-long time apart since whenever I travel overseas for business.

 

But generally, we spend most of our home, socialising and holidaying time together. We also worked together for 3 years in the early 00s. Never an issue. We just 'gel', always have, and having a child fairly late (by normal standards) has not changed that at all.

 

When I'm not too busy with work, usually around 4 hours couple/family time a day during the week (that's where my mancaving/gaming time is disappearing...I knew it!), much more at weekends. When I'm really busy, evening meal time and maybe an extra hour at the most.

Edited January 25, 2016 by L00b

[Chelle-82]

Me and the OH know when we've spent too much time together because we start arguing over the smallest of things..

 

My OH works away quite a lot and if he takes up contracts abroad then sometimes I wont see him for a month or so! I quite like it, I have always enjoyed my own company and am quite happy to be on my own without feeling lonely plus when I don't see him for such a long time it actually makes me happy to see his face when he finally comes home..

[herbalharry]

There is no straightforward "right" or "wrong" answer to the OP's question, since it's always going to be a function of the couple's respective personalities and their compatibility (or otherwise).

 

I've been a couple with Mrs L00b for 23 years this year, 20 of that married (...must-not-forget-to-do-something-special-this-year ).

 

In that time, we had approximately 2 years apart (in very long stretches, months at a time) right at the start (1st year as I completed my studies overseas, and 4th year when I completed my national service), and there's been semi-regular week-long time apart since whenever I travel overseas for business.

 

But generally, we spend most of our home, socialising and holidaying time together. We also worked together for 3 years in the early 00s. Never an issue. We just 'gel', always have, and having a child fairly late (by normal standards) has not changed that at all.

 

When I'm not too busy with work, usually around 4 hours couple/family time a day during the week (that's where my mancaving/gaming time is disappearing...I knew it!), much more at weekends. When I'm really busy, evening meal time and maybe an extra hour at the most.

 

Do you ever get bored of each other? Run out of things to say? Or tell the same stories over and over again?

 

How do you keep things fresh??

 

---------- Post added 25-01-2016 at 13:31 ----------

 

Me and the OH know when we've spent too much time together because we start arguing over the smallest of things..

 

My OH works away quite a lot and if he takes up contracts abroad then sometimes I wont see him for a month or so! I quite like it, I have always enjoyed my own company and am quite happy to be on my own without feeling lonely plus when I don't see him for such a long time it actually makes me happy to see his face when he finally comes home..

 

Maybe its because you know he is coming back that you dont feel lonely?

I feel lonely sometimes because I know im on my own constantly.The worse time is nobody to share day with ( like sometimes you really want to share!l

other times its fine though and its nice having own space so dont feel sorry for me!

[L00b]

Do you ever get bored of each other?

Run out of things to say?

Or tell the same stories over and over again?

How do you keep things fresh??

In order: no, no, no and 'we both work at it'.

 

Having some common tastes and interests, and some short and medium-term projects (social, familial, professional, <etc.>) helps, but that's not a magic recipe: in simplistic terms, it's just teamwork, with a good dose of sentimentalism (and lust, let's not forget lust ) sprinkled on

 

If I will take -and now share- anything from the history of failed relationships, both short and longer-term, of the people we know and have known over the years (decades!), it's this: relationships are doomed as soon as one (or both) stops this 'working at it' bit. Always, regular as clockwork, take-it-to-the-bank guaranteed.

 

And as people are seemingly getting ever more individualistic (and the quintessentially consumerist and 'People' -oriented society is really not helping), people are ever less ready and willing to do that, to 'work at it', to stick around during the worse and not just leg it or give up as soon as the better takes a few life knocks. It's ever more taking, and ever less giving.

Edited January 25, 2016 by L00b

[Chelle-82]

Do you ever get bored of each other? Run out of things to say? Or tell the same stories over and over again?

 

How do you keep things fresh??

 

---------- Post added 25-01-2016 at 13:31 ----------

 

 

Maybe its because you know he is coming back that you dont feel lonely?

I feel lonely sometimes because I know im on my own constantly.The worse time is nobody to share day with ( like sometimes you really want to share!l

other times its fine though and its nice having own space so dont feel sorry for me!

 

Very true! It's different when you know someone is eventually coming home as to not having anyone at all..

[Cyclone]

I've never struggled to have something to talk about to my OH, I do sometimes tell her the same story though, or at least start to, she reminds me that I told her last week quickly enough though.

 

As most serious responses have said though, there is no answer to the OP, it totally varies from couple to couple.

[herbalharry]

In order: no, no, no and 'we both work at it'.

 

Having some common tastes and interests, and some short and medium-term projects (social, familial, professional, <etc.>) helps, but that's not a magic recipe: in simplistic terms, it's just teamwork, with a good dose of sentimentalism (and lust, let's not forget lust ) sprinkled on

 

If I will take -and now share- anything from the history of failed relationships, both short and longer-term, of the people we know and have known over the years (decades!), it's this: relationships are doomed as soon as one (or both) stops this 'working at it' bit. Always, regular as clockwork, take-it-to-the-bank guaranteed.

 

And as people are seemingly getting ever more individualistic (and the quintessentially consumerist and 'People' -oriented society is really not helping), people are ever less ready and willing to do that, to 'work at it', to stick around during the worse and not just leg it or give up as soon as the better takes a few life knocks. It's ever more taking, and ever less giving.

 

Sounds like mrs LOOb is a keeper..hard to find a decent woman.

I concur totally, its too easy to disengage at the earliest sign of trouble.