willman Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 You seem to think that Sally Selfish rules the roost and that they shouldn't go on holiday because she doesn't want to go. No i believe that its A FAMILY not one man and his son. Family support is what is required to help mental issues not stroppy "well it worked for me attitudes". Its been mentioned numerous times on SF that receiving help for mental illness can take months even for a referral let alone for the work to commence and start helping. So in very real terms the son could be 16 before a solution to the mental illness is close. The first stage of any cure is for the person to accept they have a mental illness, obviously this lady can rationalise her fears to herself and doesn't register it as a problem,what anybody else says is totally irrelevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 So forgive me if i'm wrong, but reading the OP, it looks to me that it is top4718's Mrs who is attempting to "rule the roost without compromise" here: Do you wish to reconsider your closing point? Compromise should be the name of the game here. But compromise strongly suggests progress from both extremes towards a location of common convenience somewhere in-between. Rather than unilateral motion of one party relative to the other immovable one. I don't think we've seen any evidence of "roost ruling" tbh. She doesn't want to fly herself. And she got angry when a holiday without her was suggested. That's the limit of the information we have. ---------- Post added 10-02-2016 at 16:10 ---------- But you're assuming his missus wants to talk it through or even CAN talk it through at this moment of time. She probably can't so she's chucked the toys out. Going anyway definitely won't improve the situation though will it (and might result in a charge of kidnapping). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle-82 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 No i believe that its A FAMILY not one man and his son. Family support is what is required to help mental issues not stroppy "well it worked for me attitudes". Its been mentioned numerous times on SF that receiving help for mental illness can take months even for a referral let alone for the work to commence and start helping. So in very real terms the son could be 16 before a solution to the mental illness is close. The first stage of any cure is for the person to accept they have a mental illness, obviously this lady can rationalise her fears to herself and doesn't register it as a problem,what anybody else says is totally irrelevant. Soooo, 'the family' misses out on something the majority want to do all because ONE member of said family doesn't.. It's selfish! As said, she either gets off of her backside and seeks some help to overcome her irrational fears or she should let the rest go.. It doesn't mean she has to be happy about it, no one is saying she should do a song and dance but she should be willing to let them go.. And what about the impact her phobia has on her child anyway? He MAY grow up to be insecure of the same things his mother was, that again isn't fair.. Does the NHS even treat phobias? I know you keep saying mental health issues but to me it just sounds like a phobia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Soooo, 'the family' misses out on something the majority want to do all because ONE member of said family doesn't.. It's selfish! As said, she either gets off of her backside and seeks some help to overcome her irrational fears or she should let the rest go.. It doesn't mean she has to be happy about it, no one is saying she should do a song and dance but she should be willing to let them go.. And what about the impact her phobia has on her child anyway? He MAY grow up to be insecure of the same things his mother was, that again isn't fair.. Does the NHS even treat phobias? I know you keep saying mental health issues but to me it just sounds like a phobia. It's a foreign holiday they're missing out on, many kids don't get one and the world keeps turning. It's not like it's for life changing surgery. A bit of perspective please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle-82 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 It's a foreign holiday they're missing out on, many kids don't get one and the world keeps turning. It's not like it's for life changing surgery. A bit of perspective please! A bit of perspective absolutely! I don't disagree with you... but where's the mothers perspective on this holiday?? this tiny insignificant holiday that will cause her to (according to some posters) end the relationship? That's the whole point - it's just a holiday! I'll say it again, ask your lass if she's coming or not, if not then get your hol booked for you and your son and go and have a smashing time.. She'll still be there when you get back, with a miserable face like, but she'll be there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L00b Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) I don't think we've seen any evidence of "roost ruling" tbh. She doesn't want to fly herself. And she got angry when a holiday without her was suggested. That's the limit of the information we have. I'll re-quote and now bold the bit which, I fear, you might missed in your haste to find issue with my post: <...> she has catergorically stated that she will never board a plane again <...> I have mentioned this to my partner and she has gone ballistic and basically said we cannot go <...> Happy to help Edited February 10, 2016 by L00b Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 And if the OP takes him anyway, how is he any better than that? ---------- Post added 10-02-2016 at 16:32 ---------- I'll say it again, ask your lass if she's coming or not, if not then get your hol booked for you and your son and go and have a smashing time.. She'll still be there when you get back, with a miserable face like, but she'll be there And if she's not? Are you going to somehow put the family back together. It's all good fun, giving out glib advice to strangers isn't it. Never actually worrying or caring about the consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle-82 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 And if the OP takes him anyway, how is he any better than that? ---------- Post added 10-02-2016 at 16:32 ---------- And if she's not? Are you going to somehow put the family back together. It's all good fun, giving out glib advice to strangers isn't it. Never actually worrying or caring about the consequences. Why can't other people have a different outlook on life than you without you thinking that that other persons outlook is wrong? and this is SF!!!! I think we should all take it with a pinch of salt... Don't be so serious and argumentative in your posts all the time.. Love youuu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 A bit of perspective absolutely! I don't disagree with you... but where's the mothers perspective on this holiday?? this tiny insignificant holiday that will cause her to (according to some posters) end the relationship? That's the whole point - it's just a holiday! I'll say it again, ask your lass if she's coming or not, if not then get your hol booked for you and your son and go and have a smashing time.. She'll still be there when you get back, with a miserable face like, but she'll be there Or not there, wardrobes empty and a note advising the op of her choice of solicitor, or hanging from a rope from the banister. For balance only...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
999tigger Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 But you're assuming his missus wants to talk it through or even CAN talk it through at this moment of time. She probably can't so she's chucked the toys out. Ok if you want to be pedantic I can put "try to" in there. The point was there are at least two sides to this. All the rest stands. Get the wife on here and lets see what her side of the story is.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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