Cyclone Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 You are missing the point. If Sally selfish would end the relationship on something so trivial as this then the relationship is doomed to fail anyway. To the OP, go on this holiday of a lifetime. The young one won't be young for much longer, only really has a very short time left until he is no longer a child, you may not get a chance again. She needs to consider her options. There are ways to get over a fear of flying and she needs to put her son first. Has she tried valium? I don't think I am missing the point, she probably doesn't see it as trivial, and the only way to find out is to talk to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle-82 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 You are missing the point. If Sally selfish would end the relationship on something so trivial as this then the relationship is doomed to fail anyway. To the OP, go on this holiday of a lifetime. The young one won't be young for much longer, only really has a very short time left until he is no longer a child, you may not get a chance again. She needs to consider her options. There are ways to get over a fear of flying and she needs to put her son first. Has she tried valium? THANK YOU!!!! That was what I was basically trying to say... ---------- Post added 09-02-2016 at 11:10 ---------- I don't think I guaranteed that anything would happen. I suggested (I think reasonably) that the OP needs to talk to his partner. Not just call her bluff and go, with the possibility of ruining the family. Advice to just go, is IMO, terrible advice. It might work out okay, or it might work out pretty badly, a potentially life changing event for all those involved, on the basis that she's currently being selfish. ---------- Post added 08-02-2016 at 17:21 ---------- If the woman wants to split up over it, then it would have been pretty bloody terrible advice given wouldn't it. But Chelle says that on the basis of this current selfishness, no, she's not worth it and the 17 year relationship isn't worth it, and the 2 parent family isn't worth it. IF it's that big a deal to her, then I don't think throwing away a family is worth it. I think Chelle's advice is the height of irresponsibility, and I seriously doubt that she would behave like that were it her relationship and family that were potentially at risk. ---------- Post added 08-02-2016 at 17:22 ---------- Perhaps if you'd not jumped in, and she'd actually answered the question, then we'd have been better off... ---------- Post added 08-02-2016 at 17:24 ---------- Spell it out. If she continues to refuse to go, and for whatever reason it IS a big deal to her. Is your advice to go anyway? Or, do you think that perhaps some communication should take place instead, to work out why it's such a big deal? Hmmm.... Yeah I'm pretty sure I've already said my daughter comes first, before ANYTHING! If I take her or her dad takes her, as long as she's happy.. breaking up a family over some holiday isn't even an option and never would be because it's ridiculous.. Stop trying to surmise what I would or wouldn't do.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I don't see how causing a massive row with your partner is putting your child first. Arguing parents directly impact the child. The advice you gave would quite clearly cause an argument between the OP and his partner, potentially a serious one. Hence why it's irresponsible advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle-82 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I don't see how causing a massive row with your partner is putting your child first. Arguing parents directly impact the child. The advice you gave would quite clearly cause an argument between the OP and his partner, potentially a serious one. Hence why it's irresponsible advice. Who said anything about arguing? Just get on the plane with your boy and go enjoy yourselves, life is waaaay too short, take every opportunity life throws and you and grab it, if not for you then always for your child... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) ... she has catergorically stated that she will never board a plane again... I am prepared to take my son on my own and know another couple that are going with a child of the same age. I have mentioned this to my partner and she has gone ballistic and basically said we cannot go So, read the partial quote from the OP, then read what you said in response. Take your Son on holiday and stuff your partner! Terrible advice IMO. ---------- Post added 09-02-2016 at 11:35 ---------- Who said anything about arguing? Just get on the plane with your boy and go enjoy yourselves, life is waaaay too short, take every opportunity life throws and you and grab it, if not for you then always for your child... Well, perhaps "gone ballistic" means that she ran down the road faster than the speed of sound? Or perhaps it means an argument.... What do you think? Take every opportunity to cause a massive rift between the mother and father of this boy, that will definitely enhance his life. 2 weeks in disney land balanced against maybe living with a single parent in the future. Edited February 9, 2016 by Cyclone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle-82 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 So, read the partial quote from the OP, then read what you said in response. Terrible advice IMO. Whoooo look you're doing that thing that you do when you pick apart posts... I enjoy it when you do that ---------- Post added 09-02-2016 at 11:39 ---------- So, read the partial quote from the OP, then read what you said in response. Terrible advice IMO. ---------- Post added 09-02-2016 at 11:35 ---------- Well, perhaps "gone ballistic" means that she ran down the road faster than the speed of sound? Or perhaps it means an argument.... What do you think? Take every opportunity to cause a massive rift between the mother and father of this boy, that will definitely enhance his life. 2 weeks in disney land balanced against maybe living with a single parent in the future. I love you Cyclone - let's make love not war Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I didn't pick apart your post, I quoted the entire relevant portion. I have no desire to argue with you. I just think that advice that includes "stuff your partner" is really bad advice being given to the OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dozer Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 What an interesting thread! I see three main opinions/options: 1. If she's willing to blow up the relationship over something so small, it's not worth saving anyway. 2. I suppose we could also say, if he's willing to blow up the relationship over something so small, it's not worth saving anyway. 3. It'd be great if they could use this situation as a model for their 13-year-old of how a loving couple can solve problems together. Obviously number 3 is very difficult, especially if they can't talk about it. Anyone have any advice on how the OP and his wife can get from where they are now to some place that works for everyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeteMorris Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Has anyone thought to ask the young lad what he thinks?...And what the consequences might be, with his parents bickering over him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truman Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Why not compromise and go to Eurodisney? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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