Child maintenance help..

[Marx]

It took the CSA five months to stop taking money directly from my salary after my children came to live with me. I slapped in a request to see all the paperwork relating to my claim, complained and was awarded £50 in compensation. It was beneath my dignity to even consider cashing the cheque. I hope it messed-up their accounting.

 

More recently I got a paltry £6.80 a week from their mother but they have deemed she doesn't have to pay that any longer despite my son not reaching 18 until the end of the year.

[ricgem2002]

He's moved into this thread now as well I see...

 

Lots of complaints from both sides around the CSA. Plenty of people saying similar things to Berberis so unless they are all lying it does seem legit. Any situation involving a break up and children is going to be difficult so you'd think the CSA (or whatever they are called now) would be trained into dealing with effectively conflict management. Surely it's in everyone's best interests to get it sorted but that doesn't seem to happen.

 

People saying 'well if the absent parent tried harder to sort it amicably...' are just being deluded and judgemental frankly. You have no idea which side of the relationship is being the difficult one. If the parent with custody decides to just go to the CSA then they can even if the one without custody has made every effort to sort it out fairly.

 

Equally I can understand why the CSA acts how it does at times as sadly there are many cases of people walking away and not taking responsibility for their child, but it cannot be that hard to quickly assess the ones who are trying to resolve things and to work with them in a calm and friendly way for the benefit of the child who is the main thing in all of these case. If it's someone who isn't taking responsibility then, yup go hard at them within the law.

 

Berberis, did you get legal advice at the time, and if so what did they advise? Breach of Data Protection Act is a big deal.

for your information like you I can move into and discuss any thread on here. ive seen you post about there being 2 sides to a story before (but I do it on this thread and im a troll) I asked a couple of questions of which he has still not answered. I hope he answers your question about legal advice (thou I doubt he got or even tried ) did he go for parental responsibility/if not why not

[sgtkate]

for your information like you I can move into and discuss any thread on here. ive seen you post about there being 2 sides to a story before (but I do it on this thread and im a troll) I asked a couple of questions of which he has still not answered. I hope he answers your question about legal advice (thou I doubt he got or even tried ) did he go for parental responsibility/if not why not

 

Ric, it's how you ask. You are needlessly aggressive based on nothing. You have no reason not to accept Berberis at face value, and if you want to understand more then just ask calmly rather than effectively accusing him of lying. How would you likely respond if someone implied you were lying about something? Would you answer politely or would you tell to accuser to **** off?

[ricgem2002]

Ric, it's how you ask. You are needlessly aggressive based on nothing. You have no reason not to accept Berberis at face value, and if you want to understand more then just ask calmly rather than effectively accusing him of lying. How would you likely respond if someone implied you were lying about something? Would you answer politely or would you tell to accuser to **** off?

that's something I have to live with (even my wife says I come across all aggressive)sometimes. ill have to work on that and perhaps chill a little more my point being there is 2 sides to a story and we only heard his . I hear stories like this all the time from friends/relatives and when it actually boils down to what these people did to try and resolve things it appears they did nowt and that's why I asked the question(albeit rather aggressively)

[sgtkate]

that's something I have to live with (even my wife says I come across all aggressive)sometimes. ill have to work on that and perhaps chill a little more my point being there is 2 sides to a story and we only heard his . I hear stories like this all the time from friends/relatives and when it actually boils down to what these people did to try and resolve things it appears they did nowt and that's why I asked the question(albeit rather aggressively)

 

I agree with you. I have on occasion, cough cough, been a bit aggressive on here too, sometimes without meaning to be. Not until I've re-read my post did I see the tone was hostile. It's hard sometimes through text only to get what the person meant as we all make assumptions.

 

I'm also trying to chill out a bit and have debates rather than arguments. Makes the world a much more enjoyable place.

[Berberis]

Berberis, did you get legal advice at the time, and if so what did they advise? Breach of Data Protection Act is a big deal.

 

Hi sgtkate. Yes I did I didnt proceed anything at the time for a couple of reasons.

 

First there was no legal aid for such a complaint, I would need to self fund any case. At the time the CSA were taking nearly 50% of my pay packet due to me being on the old system and the CSA making me to pay the incorrect arrears which I have previously mentioned.

 

Second the initial advice I received from Howells at the time was that to make a case I would need my ex to provide the evidence. As she at this time had cut off all contact, there was no way to prove the CSA had breached the data protection act. Plus any judgement would only be a moral victory. For these reasons I didnt proceed and put my money into gaining access to my son, which was more important to me.

[sgtkate]

Hi sgtkate. Yes I did I didnt proceed anything at the time for a couple of reasons.

 

First there was no legal aid for such a complaint, I would need to self fund any case. At the time the CSA were taking nearly 50% of my pay packet due to me being on the old system and the CSA making me to pay the incorrect arrears which I have previously mentioned.

 

Second the initial advice I received from Howells at the time was that to make a case I would need my ex to provide the evidence. As she at this time had cut off all contact, there was no way to prove the CSA had breached the data protection act. Plus any judgement would only be a moral victory. For these reasons I didnt proceed and put my money into gaining access to my son, which was more important to me.

 

Fair enough, was just curious. I've said this before but you really do have my utmost sympathy for your situation. Something are above petty arguments on online forums and this is one of them. I also hope that things get looked at from all sides as currently I'm fairly sure the only people 'winning' are the CSA. Mothers are being shafted, fathers too and the kids are getting brought up without contact with a parent when in a lot of cases all of this could be avoided.

[Bargepole23]

Hi sgtkate. Yes I did I didnt proceed anything at the time for a couple of reasons.

 

First there was no legal aid for such a complaint, I would need to self fund any case. At the time the CSA were taking nearly 50% of my pay packet due to me being on the old system and the CSA making me to pay the incorrect arrears which I have previously mentioned.

 

Second the initial advice I received from Howells at the time was that to make a case I would need my ex to provide the evidence. As she at this time had cut off all contact, there was no way to prove the CSA had breached the data protection act. Plus any judgement would only be a moral victory. For these reasons I didnt proceed and put my money into gaining access to my son, which was more important to me.

 

Just out of interest, what would you think is a fair amount to pay each month for the upkeep of mother and child?

[Berberis]

Just out of interest, what would you think is a fair amount to pay each month for the upkeep of mother and child?

 

I personally look at it differently. Each parent should contribute 50% of what the child needs.

[El Cid]

Just out of interest, what would you think is a fair amount to pay each month for the upkeep of mother and child?

 

And a fair amount of time would be 50/50 too