Child maintenance help..

[Berberis]

Fair enough, was just curious. I've said this before but you really do have my utmost sympathy for your situation. Something are above petty arguments on online forums and this is one of them. I also hope that things get looked at from all sides as currently I'm fairly sure the only people 'winning' are the CSA. Mothers are being shafted, fathers too and the kids are getting brought up without contact with a parent when in a lot of cases all of this could be avoided.

 

In my opinion, the CSA have supported my ex's behaviour by weaponising relationship breakdowns. The Family Courts by way of CAFCAS have aleso failed to address her accusations which when I spoke with them said to me "Many women make these kinds of false claims in cases like this". This was when my ex tried to claim I had had runnings with the police for a number of reasons over the years. She was trying to discredit me as a parent. My solicitor was great and obtained a clean sheet from the police stating I had never been arrested, detained or even spoken to by them. The court had no interest in this and when I brought it up, it was sidestepped.

 

The thing is, she was the one who ended the relationship. This was after numerous cheating on me, physical attacks and threats of violence (which were recorded on my voicemail at the time and I insured 2 credible friends listened to them so that if I ever need to refer back to them, I can call upon them to verify they happened). I tried to keep the relationship together. I tried to forgive, but eventually it was over and initially we remained friends, but she quickly turned on me after she lied to the CSA about how much I had given her in cash and the rest is history. It's now 17 years later and I am biding my time until I can go out of my way to contact my son and have the opportunity to set out my side of the story. Its not just me that was hurt in all of this, my son lost access to both grand and great grandparents who love him dearly. Sadly some of these people are no longer with us, so my ex's actions has taken away more than she can probably imagine.

 

I think I will leave my sad story there. No need to keep pulling these things up from the depths. Move on and look forward is my moto.

 

---------- Post added 18-03-2016 at 13:20 ----------

 

And a fair amount of time would be 50/50 too

 

Yes, I totally agree.

[sgtkate]

In my opinion, the CSA have supported my ex's behaviour by weaponising relationship breakdowns. The Family Courts by way of CAFCAS have aleso failed to address her accusations which when I spoke with them said to me "Many women make these kinds of false claims in cases like this". This was when my ex tried to claim I had had runnings with the police for a number of reasons over the years. She was trying to discredit me as a parent. My solicitor was great and obtained a clean sheet from the police stating I had never been arrested, detained or even spoken to by them. The court had no interest in this and when I brought it up, it was sidestepped.

 

The thing is, she was the one who ended the relationship. This was after numerous cheating on me, physical attacks and threats of violence (which were recorded on my voicemail at the time and I insured 2 credible friends listened to them so that if I ever need to refer back to them, I can call upon them to verify they happened). I tried to keep the relationship together. I tried to forgive, but eventually it was over and initially we remained friends, but she quickly turned on me after she lied to the CSA about how much I had given her in cash and the rest is history. It's now 17 years later and I am biding my time until I can go out of my way to contact my son and have the opportunity to set out my side of the story. Its not just me that was hurt in all of this, my son lost access to both grand and great grandparents who love him dearly. Sadly some of these people are no longer with us, so my ex's actions has taken away more than she can probably imagine.

 

I think I will leave my sad story there. No need to keep pulling these things up from the depths. Move on and look forward is my moto.

 

 

Go0d attitude to have, and best of luck when you get to re-engage with your son. Hope you can still have a good relationship with him.

[ANGELFIRE1]

If you breed them why does any one hate paying for them.

 

Angel1.

[Bargepole23]

I personally look at it differently. Each parent should contribute 50% of what the child needs.

 

I fully agree, but if the parent with custody is unable to work, usually the mother, then naturally the father pays the lions share. Some of that money goes to support the mother, not just the child. That is most likely how it would have been had you stayed together.