Gamston Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Yes, having children can make someone a better person. A stable relationship is also a significant factor in becoming a better person. I believe there is a lot of truth in the statement "Behind every successful man there is a woman" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 I'm pretty sure it can also make you a worse person. Like most things in life, it's not simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lottiecass Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 No ! I would have had the snip at 16. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L00b Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 (edited) This is such a subjective issue, you'd likely never get consensus, even on the back of academic study based on a sizeable and representative-enough sample. What's a 'better person' to start with? Relative to what? A 'bad' person? A 'less good' person? Meaning what? I'd like to think I'm a better person for being a father. But perhaps not. To use your words tfh, I was responsible enough before having a child, not to need any extra push (-towards being a 'better person', whatever that means). I certainly enjoy life more for having a child, and am still less selfish/more compassionate than I used to be for it (...if that's attributable to fatherhood, that is: objectively, I can't tell, it could just as well be age/wisdom). If that's any useful measure or metric. Edited September 20, 2016 by L00b Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 If the question was "does it make you a better person", I'd say that it can't be answered and there couldn't be a consensus. But since it was "CAN it make you better", I don't see how anyone could say no. I'm sure it CAN make you better, make you worse, not change you, flip your life upside down, be the best thing ever or totally ruin it. It CAN be any number of things to different people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L00b Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 But since it was "CAN it make you better", I don't see how anyone could say no. It's a question for which both Yes and No are possible answers. I certainly can say 'no', by the anecdotal evidence of knowing acquaintances (two sets) pre- and post having a kid. In each case it went to their head in a major way, and not for the better. They ceased being acquaintances, put it that way. Wouldn't surprise me one bit if at least one of them was eventually psych-followed or even sectioned. So clearly a 'no'. I suspect most every body knows someone or other who had kids and worsened from the experience, and can answer likewise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hogg Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Being a parent will give you unique experiences of both intense love and anxiety, but it will probably make you more selfish with regard to people outside your immediate family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Arctor Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 It makes you a much more tired, skint and time poor person. Not sure it makes you a better one although sometimes you hear a person say "so and so has really settled down since they've had kids" which would be a good thing if what they were doing before was running around the place being a dick. I don't think there is a straight answer to your question. You do learn a lot as a parent but that learning mainly applies to kids, not your adult friends and family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaFoot Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Can having child make you a better person? Possibly. Can having a child make you insufferably dull? Probably. As with every question related to personality, it will vary between people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sierra Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 (edited) Can it make you a better person? It sure can. It can also make you temporarily insane. You find out all sorts of things about yourself. Like how it's possible to fall asleep standing up, or how you can walk around half the day with baby spit up or poop on your clothes and not notice it. Or notice it and not care. Raisin Bran makes a fine dinner in a pinch, and Disney films really do get better the 57th time you watch them. Not to mention teaching someone to use the toilet or wipe their own nose can be incredibly satisfying. And you didn't want the last piece of cake anyway. You find strength and patience you didn't know you had. You develop a high tolerance for noise and dirt and learn to put things in perspective. At the same time, you never realized how it was possible to love someone so fiercely and feel so protective of them. I suppose it could go either way, but it has made me a less selfish and better, if poorer person. Edited September 21, 2016 by Sierra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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