Dating sites. Tinder bad experience.

[El Cid]

Try a paid site, they are not perfect but usually contain fewer idiots! Guardian Soul Mates / E Harmony / Match.

 

Try going to the cafe/pub every day, maybe cheaper than paying a dating site.

[Dales]

1, Websites seldom come up with Mr Right just full of time wasters and men looking for a quick one or gold digging their least victim.

 

2, You found out sooner than later he was rat best flushed down the toilet nodoubt he has forgotten you by now and moved onto his next victim. Forget him and move on he's so not worth it.

 

3, Get your best gear out its time to hit the town and meet real men.

 

4, Men are men expect a few interesting encounters. I should know on that one .

 

5, Enjoy yourself been single is fun plenty of men in the sea.

 

Good luck

 

Ahhh nice post Crookedspire! Wise words too.

To the op, you seem a lovely person and this man is definitely not worth any of your precious time.

[tifftifco2]

Unfortunately it happens, and not just on dating websites. Years back, I met someone (in a bar) and the chemistry was good, we met up a few times. What he neglected to tell me though (for two months) was that he was still in love with his ex (and they still lived together). I would never have gotten involved if I had known.

OP, it's his loss, better that you know now I suppose. I never much got into the Internet dating thing, tried it once but I was always scared to meet people, which kind of defeats the object!

 

Seriously! You were well clear of that one!

I get the fear aswell really bad. It's much easier isn't it when you already know someone or meet them whilst out. Having said that the excitement is quite a build up.

 

---------- Post added 04-10-2016 at 03:34 ----------

 

On a plus note i married the woman of my dreams who i met on Plenty of Fish

 

There are genuine peeple out there, you jut have to trudge thru a lot of <removed> to find them

 

That's lovely to hear! And so true! My freinds wedding who I went to back in the summer, well they met on POF aswell and they have been tigether along time now and are extremely happy.

 

---------- Post added 04-10-2016 at 03:38 ----------

 

Please don't be upset, you did nothing wrong! It doesn't seem like it but he actually did you a favor. Better for the disappointment now than to find out AFTER you got involved with him that he was cheating on his wife or girlfriend or was out on parole.

 

Maybe I'm old fashioned but if I were single now, I'd much prefer meeting people through friends, work, school or hobbies. Internet dating is tailor made for liars and scammers. Not saying there aren't genuine people on there, but (I've heard) it's like sifting through a pile of poop to find a diamond. Not impossible but the odds are against you.

 

I guarantee this had nothing to do with you though you will likely never know the real reason. Maybe take some time for yourself and allow yourself to heal from your abusive relationship. An abusive partner can really do a number on your self esteem and it takes time to recover fully.

 

 

Thank you for your reply you talk alot of sense. Your right my ex has took so much from me i fear it will take along time to heal. I guess this won't happen quickly.

 

I think we all want to feel attractive etc sometimes and worthy of a decent man's love but I guess I should take it slower. Thank you again.

 

---------- Post added 04-10-2016 at 03:41 ----------

 

Ahhh nice post Crookedspire! Wise words too.

To the op, you seem a lovely person and this man is definitely not worth any of your precious time.

 

Thank you Dales that's a lovely thing to say and i agree crookedspires words are very wise.

[GLASGOWOODS]

Try going to the cafe/pub every day, maybe cheaper than paying a dating site.

 

If you sit drinking water then yes.

 

Crookedspire suggests getting out and meet real men. I'm guessing he means men you can see, smell and brush past. Otherwise it's nonsense, real men exist on dating sites...it's convenient. I've met some fantastic women on dating sites over the years. Why didn't we click you may ask? Well lots of reasons which I won't go into.

 

All depends on how savvy/thick skinned you are. How long you've been single and make sure you talk over the phone different times of the day. I can sniff a liar a mile off.

Edited October 4, 2016 by GLASGOWOODS

[999tigger]

 

Bit late to this, but TINDER??????? Really

 

 

You do realise thats what its designed for and what a very high % of people use it for?

Lesson you are using the wrong app opr wrong approach if you expected anything different.

 

You fell in way too quickly and should exercise more caution or you are goibng to get played.

 

You were lucky in a way because at least he showed he had a conscience and felt guilty. You dont know how much he played you or just decided you were too vulnerable. You might have come on far too strong and been far too open.

 

Waste of time crying and you need to toughen up because you might meet a bad one next time. You need to be able to protect yourself, they arent all bad. Learn from the experience.

 

If youve been in a 14 year abusive relationship then it comes across as though you need to do some self healing before you start dating again, so you have that extra confidence and you cna look after yourself. Clearly all the abuse has taken its toll on you and bad experiences will just reinforce any of the abusive rubbish your ex tried to condition you with. I would go for self healing and building up your confidence/ self esteem, then go dating when you know you can cope with it.

[spilldig]

If you sit drinking water then yes.

 

Crookedspire suggests getting out and meet real men. I'm guessing he means men you can see, smell and brush past. Otherwise it's nonsense, real men exist on dating sites...it's convenient. I've met some fantastic women on dating sites over the years. Why didn't we click you may ask? Well lots of reasons which I won't go into.

 

All depends on how savvy/thick skinned you are. How long you've been single and make sure you talk over the phone different times of the day. I can sniff a liar a mile off.

 

It's not worked for you then, has it ? Unless you want to meet many people rather than meet and settle with one person. It depends what you are aiming for ?

It did sound as if the OP was looking for a permanent relationship.

Edited October 5, 2016 by spilldig

[crookedspire]

If you sit drinking water then yes.

 

Crookedspire suggests getting out and meet real men. I'm guessing he means men you can see, smell and brush past. Otherwise it's nonsense, real men exist on dating sites...it's convenient. I've met some fantastic women on dating sites over the years. Why didn't we click you may ask? Well lots of reasons which I won't go into.

 

All depends on how savvy/thick skinned you are. How long you've been single and make sure you talk over the phone different times of the day. I can sniff a liar a mile off.

 

My experience of such sites tell me more often that not its just about one night stands and fake profiles . On such sites anyone can be anything but if you see them you get what you see.

[whitewitch]

I was in an abusive relationship some years back and it is true, an abusive partner really can do a number on you!

 

What you need to do is find yourself. You need to surround yourself with positive people, you need to sing and laugh and dance and be happy in your own skin.

 

One day when you are happily laughing and dancing on your own someone will notice you and that person may just be the best thing to ever happen to you and it'll work out because they will be WORTHY of your time x

 

After being in an abusive relationship myself many years ago I couldnt have said it better. You need time to repair yourself, the mental abuse for me was probably the hardest to overcome, years later I still suffer from low self esteem, it sounds like you have some really good friends, get out there & have fun.

[vwkittie]

I don't think Tinder is the best place to be, it's free and from what I understand mostly based around looks so it's likely full of muppets.

 

There's nothing wrong with meeting people online, I met my partner of 10 years online.... but it wasn't through a dating site it was a shared interest forum (not this one!)

 

Perhaps if you have any particular interests or hobbies, that would be a better way to go to find someone decent who has something in common with you than dating sites.

[alchresearch]

My experience of such sites tell me more often that not its just about one night stands and fake profiles . On such sites anyone can be anything but if you see them you get what you see.

 

Which is exactly the same as meeting someone in person.

 

Sites like eHarmony do all they can to try and guide you into long discussions online before meeting, and their higher than average costs do filter out those looking just for one night stands - they tend to use Tinder, PlentyofFish and the like.

 

The only other downside is there's nothing to stop someone using out of date photos in their profile. Its always surprising to see a photo of someone, then when you meet you find they're suddenly aged 15 years, or gained a dozen stone in weight!