Is Rolf Harris a nice man?

[nick2]

I think that just beacuse he painted a nice mural in Sheaf Valley baths the people of Sheffield are quite happy to turn a blind eye to this monster, but they do so at their peril.

[slimsid2000]

All Australians are nice.

 

Kylie Minogue is nice. Don't you agree Ryan?

[funkymiss]

Ahh at least, the appearance of siddy!

[daverity]

Timo, It is usual I know for many people to pay tribute to your towering intellect but on this occasion having read this thread I wish to pay homage to your undoubted bravery in facing up this unsavoury individual and ‘going public’ as I believe is the current terminology.

 

I can only wish that I had not kept quiet about Harris for so long but your relentless pursuit of the truth about this man, has inspired me to tell what I know. Harris has for years now been involved with a secret sect devoted to devil worship and the corruption of youth throughout the world. I provide photographic proof HERE which clearly shows Harris in the guise of sect leader.

 

I’m ashamed to say that I came under the spell of this sect many years ago when I was presented on my birthday with a contraption called a ‘Stylophone’. Little did I know that this innocent looking device was actually programmed to pass subliminal messages to the user, whenever you attempted to play any of the seemingly harmless ditties that ‘Rolf’ had presented as examples in the accompanying literature. Once under the spell of ‘Rolf’ or as he prefers to be called within the sect ‘Grand Wizard Dunny’, what had been a promising primary school career degenerated into a misspent youth as I became embroiled in Rolf’s sinister organisation and its nefarious aims.

 

As this is a family forum, I will spare some of the lurid and salacious parts of the sect but Harris used his popularity to further his other desire, that of world domination and the establishment of a new world order. Witness HERE his neo-facist sympathies as he addressed his faithful, whipping them into hysteria at a rally, and THIS PHOTOGRAPH secretly taken as he cavorted with other meglomaniacs at a clandestine conference back in 1986 at the Moscow Conservative Club. I feel sure that if the UN Inspectors had turned their attentions on Harris sooner, they would have found all Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction right there in the potting shed at the bottom of his garden, not as they believed in Iraq- such is his stature amongst the world’s evil elite.

 

I count myself one of the fortunate ones in that I was able to escape the sect, others I don’t believe were as fortunate. There was that hideous commercial of the 70’s, ‘Teach Kids to Swim’ when he was sharing a swimming bath with a dozen or so children and gleefully telling us how he had nearly drowned when he was a child. Thirty years on what has become of those children, has anybody ever bothered to check? No, of course they haven’t, yet more irrefutable evidence of the evil that is Rolf and his insidious grip on the media.

 

I have to go now as I fear for my own safety and I’m due to go out for a pint with me old mate David Icke and I need to iron my turquoise shell-suit but keep up the good work Timo old chap, just watch your back though because Rolf’s disciples are everywhere!

[timo]

Many thanks to johnbradley there for that horrifying photograph of Harris. It is good to be reminded of exactly what we on this thread are up against. Of course, allegedly, the Antipodean brute has been 'up against' all manner of things in his time.

 

Syko's undoubtedly true anecdote [ it is not in his nature to invent stories] does not surprise me in the least. Another rumour surrounding Harris [as if the allegations of perverted sexuality, sociopathic sadism, propensities for extreme physical violence and overt racism were not enough] centres around an alleged vendetta against fellow animal-oriented broadcaster, Michaela Strachen. Showbiz rumours abound that peevish misogynist Harris threatened Strachen not to try to steal his thunder with her anthropomorphic animal programmes. BBC insiders claim that thuggish Harris lifted tiny 'Micki' by her lapels and slammed her into the wall, hissing through his dentures, 'Try queering MY pitch Sheila, and you'll be sorry. F***ing Johnny Morris tried it in the 70s, and ended up on traction'. Terrified Strachen is said to weep at the mere mention of the 'lovable family entertainer's ' name.

 

I have the above story on the best authority of Mrs Beryl Groin, journalist with the Ormskirk Advertiser. No stranger to controversy, Mrs Groin last made the news in April 2005 when she claimed that the late Frank Sinatra was intercepting her mail.

[shoeshine]

Someone on here said Rolfie was in his seventies......

 

I think that estimate is wrong. I think he is a couple of thousand years old. .

 

Ok then you clever dicks, I will render my theory with proof!

As you know, Rolf paints his pictures rapidly, we've seen him do it on TV.

 

I wonder if the guy is really the Original graffiti artist, who practised his skill in Palaeolithic times.

 

All the graffiti applied to the Essoldo, Whitehall and Hippodrome Cinemas in Rotherham during the 1950's may have been a further extension of this undoubted skill, copied in due course by today's practitioners, namely the "Jason luvs Samantha", "Daz luvs Soosie" and " Soosie also lurves Mavis and Samantha" themes we know and admire today.

 

Now to the age theory in respect of Mr. Harris...........

 

There has been the discovery, in modern times, of various examples of "Cave Art". To name but a couple, The Lascaux Cave and The Cave of Chauvet-Pont- d'Arc, both situated in France.

 

Herein can be seen the early sketches, perhaps by Mr. Harris. Primitive Graffiti at its best.

 

The unwitting experts in Palaeolithic Art have never recognised the contents of the caves as graffiti, or attributed them to particular artists.

 

The cave at Lascaux, France discovered in September 1940 (Note the Germans were fighting the Battle of Britain against our Spitfires/Hurricanes just about then ) were the source of great excitement in France at the time. Everyone went to tread the calcite floor, dodge the terraced basins filled with water thereon, and have a good gander at the depictions of the bulls, the Scene of the Dead Man, and the Chamber of Felines.

 

Regular day trips were made using "Le Nationale" buses from gay Paree for 2 francs each including admission, a plate of l'escargot", and a bag of black market "Stumblers" Crisps. (No wonder the Gerries sauntered into Paree without resistance!) General De Gaulle also visited said cave prior to holing up in England to rally his Forces at a safe distance.

 

Eventually after a few years, rumour has it that the sketches may have originated from a practising graffiti artist and the cave was closed to the public in April 1963. Le Nationale Bus Company quit the route and opened up as a major Motorway Travel Service to take advantage of Britain's traffic-free Motorway Network, similar to the ones we have today.

 

My theory is that the Lascaux Cave was close in 1963 to save face for the Palaeontologists, when they discovered a primitive scratching at the most rearward part of the cave which was decoded as reading ROLF WAS HERE.

[timo]

Thankyou Shoeshine, for that cogent, well-argued theory. I think that it is indeed possible for Rolf Harris to be around two thousand years of age. He definately looks younger than Sylvester Stallone's mother, who was born when Dinosaurs [no, not Diana Dors] roamed the earth. As Harris himself cruelly put it , 'Jesus Christ, if Stallone's mother has one more face lift she'll be combing her arse'.

[Albatross]

But when you think about it I suppose it's to be expected. I mean he's decended from convicts aint he.

I mean what other former penal colony could spawn such deformed things as a duck billed platypus, Frank Ifield or his Rolfness.

PS is he related to the Rolf in the muppet show.

[poppins]

Thankyou Shoeshine, for that cogent, well-argued theory. I think that it is indeed possible for Rolf Harris to be around two thousand years of age. He definately looks younger than Sylvester Stallone's mother, who was born when Dinosaurs [no, not Diana Dors] roamed the earth. As Harris himself cruelly put it , 'Jesus Christ, if Stallone's mother has one more face lift she'll be combing her arse'.

 

 

Off topic, but i never knew Stallone had a mother, never heard of her in the US..well if she's around she's not popular here, what does she do ?

[viking]

Anyone who is mates with Saddam AND sings about "2 little boys" must need some kind of help.