Rowdy hen parties and very sensitive women

[Halibut]

Again - why does that matter?

 

It informs how we think about the sexual abuse of women. And it should inform how we behave as men.

[monkey104]

Does anyone remember QC Lindsay Kutchners closing remarks in a rape case where her closing lines were about women should be free to do anything they want without the fear of being attacked but should take precautions to protect themselves with regards the amount of alcohol they drink and the clothes they wear.

She likened it to securing your home, I believe, stating that no one has the right to break in to your property but we do take precautions against people doing just that.

 

Why do parents tell their young daughters " your not wearing that/ let man know when you get there/I will pick you up"?

 

These are precautions and we take precautions against every risk.

Unfortunately there are men out there who have no moral compass and women have to look after themselves.

It's common sense, not victim blaming.

[Guest makapaka]

It informs how we think about the sexual abuse of women. And it should inform how we behave as men.

 

Why does it? And how would whether a man is scared or not through sexual harassment inform his own behaviour? Unless your victim blaming?

 

What difference does it make whether a man is more or less scared of sexual harrasment than a woman?

[Padders]

Does anyone remember QC Lindsay Kutchners closing remarks in a rape case where her closing lines were about women should be free to do anything they want without the fear of being attacked but should take precautions to protect themselves with regards the amount of alcohol they drink and the clothes they wear.

She likened it to securing your home, I believe, stating that no one has the right to break in to your property but we do take precautions against people doing just that.

 

Why do parents tell their young daughters " your not wearing that/ let man know when you get there/I will pick you up"?

 

These are precautions and we take precautions against every risk.

Unfortunately there are men out there who have no moral compass and women have to look after themselves.

It's common sense, not victim blaming.

 

Correct..

[SnailyBoy]

Does anyone remember QC Lindsay Kutchners closing remarks in a rape case where her closing lines were about women should be free to do anything they want without the fear of being attacked but should take precautions to protect themselves with regards the amount of alcohol they drink and the clothes they wear.

She likened it to securing your home, I believe, stating that no one has the right to break in to your property but we do take precautions against people doing just that.

 

Why do parents tell their young daughters " your not wearing that/ let man know when you get there/I will pick you up"?

 

These are precautions and we take precautions against every risk.

Unfortunately there are men out there who have no moral compass and women have to look after themselves.

It's common sense, not victim blaming.

 

This judge?

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39241470

 

Weird, quite a few women don't agree with you.

[Halibut]

Why does it? And how would whether a man is scared or not through sexual harassment inform his own behaviour? Unless your victim blaming?

 

What difference does it make whether a man is more or less scared of sexual harrasment than a woman?

 

Apologies; my remarks were addressed to men with a social conscience and reasonably well developed thinking skills. Seems like I missed the target audience.

 

I'll make it simpler.

 

Women are never to blame for being sexually assaulted.

 

Men shouldn't harrass, leer at, grope or otherwise sexually assault women.

[Guest makapaka]

Apologies; my remarks were addressed to men with a social conscience and reasonably well developed thinking skills. Seems like I missed the target audience.

 

I'll make it simpler.

 

Women are never to blame for being sexually assaulted.

 

Men shouldn't harrass, leer at, grope or otherwise sexually assault women.

 

Of course they aren’t and of course they shouldn’t.

 

Why do you think whether a man feels scared or threatened when he is harassed, groped etc is relevant?

[Halibut]

Of course they aren’t and of course they shouldn’t.

 

Why do you think whether a man feels scared or threatened when he is harassed, groped etc is relevant?

 

Because relative to women, men suffer low rates of sexual abuse and assault and tend to find it less frightening and threatening when it does happen.

[medusa]

Well it seems that as a society we have been guilty for a long time of creating sexual predators, mostly male of course by the sound of things, so what wonderful solutions do all us wise folk have to cure this 'male' problem ?

We can't possibly lock all these men up can we, what solutions do the females amongst us suggest, many will become mothers and sisters to these male predators

 

I think you'll find that hundreds/thousands of years of patriarchal society with women literally having no rights is likely to produce men who believe that they have the right to take what they want and women who don't believe that they have the power to speak out and not lose their job/reputation/whatever.

 

Things are better than they were. There are an awful lot more men who don't try the wandering hands octopus routine on every passing woman than there were, and that's great.

 

However, if you're a man who has not been groped, fondled, kissed against your will, hands up your clothing, tripped up deliberately when turning someone down, bitten, choked, raped, humiliated, lost your job when you tried to refuse any of this, then consider yourself lucky that it hasn't been a standard part of your life, like it has for many thousands of women for a very long time indeed.

 

Think about it- this horrible stream of abuse is committed by people who understand that they are in power and that the person being abused is powerless. Yes, every now and then there will be a woman who is in power and who has tried to get away with similar, but statistically there are far more men in powerful situations across the world, and they've had hundreds of years of this being so, of course they're far more likely to be abusers. The world has taught them that they can get away with it because the victims just won't be believed.

 

This is not accusing men who have not been abusers, really it isn't. It's very likely that if there were hundreds of years of women being in charge of everything and denying rights to men then there would be exactly the same seen in the opposite direction, but how long would it take before you could demonstrate that? We don't have hundreds of years to spare to demonstrate the point.

 

EDIT- the solution is education and empathy. It always has been, but until now the scales have been so weighted in the opposite direction that the world was not even aware of the routine abuse that occurred.

Edited October 23, 2017 by medusa

[Guest makapaka]

Because relative to women, men suffer low rates of sexual abuse and assault and tend to find it less frightening and threatening when it does happen.

 

I would agree that it’s more prevalent towards women.

 

Even If it is less frightening and threatening to a man (which you are massively generalising by the way - as you have no idea of how the events might pan out in any given circumstance) are you not insinuating it’s somehow more acceptable?

Edited October 23, 2017 by makapaka