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I can't stand 'passed away'.


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I can understand how some people dislike or cannot face the finality of the word "dead" and I respect their preference to use phrases like "passed away" or "passed over".

For me, though, I always refer to those I've lost simply as dead. This doesn't mean they're forgotten or any less respected but I think that death is one thing you can't (and shouldn't) soften the blow of by calling it something else.

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Guest makapaka

Are people daft or what?

 

If someone says “Dave passed away last week” do you wander off in confusion wondering if they’re really dead or not - worrying that the person thinks Dave is still alive - it’s a turn of phrase stop being daft.

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Don't pets cross over the rainbow bridge?

 

I have worked in pet rescue for over 20 years, and that is still one I can't stand. Just the concept of poor animals being stuck waiting for the owner that won't be coming because they don't believe in an afterlife is one issue, and the cloyingly saccharine sweet 'everything is perfect' once they're dead is another. No, they're dead and the good part is that they're not continuing to struggle with whatever it was that got to them in the end.

 

My dog is well into the age when she could pop her big furry clodhopping clogs at any point, and when that happens I will be sad, but I will be grateful for all of the years of fabulous companionship and world class eyebrow work and groans that she brought into my life, but not so grateful for all of the mud. I will be thankful that she's no longer going through the daily struggle that she currently has with joints that are slowing her down more and more, but not because of some notion that she's now young again and waiting in a field for me.

 

If you work in animal rescue though, sometimes it's good to just be quiet and let people say what they're going to say and feel what they're going to feel, because trying to stop people believing in the rainbow bridge would definitely constitute cruelty to quite a lot of people.

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Are people daft or what?

 

If someone says “Dave passed away last week” do you wander off in confusion wondering if they’re really dead or not - worrying that the person thinks Dave is still alive - it’s a turn of phrase stop being daft.

 

Overall i'm in agreement. I personally don't like the term "dead" tho..there's a blank harshness to it (although true)..Passed away or passed on just sounds a little too synthetic imo

If I can create a sentence to express regret which includes 'died' then thats what ill likely use.

 

As you say though, wandering off in confusion as to what you say or how you say it probably says more about you than it does those you're addressing. Taking others into account who will also be affected by the loss should i think be taken into consideration..just like anything else.

Interesting stuff is words, and how you string them together. Considering others first aint a bad thing.

 

When someone is born we don't say..'they're alive' to celebrate an existence..in fact I dont think we term a newborn as anything..we just accept and move forward, personally I dont think we should term death in the same way..its just an inevitability. Unless there's a need to advertise it.

 

Id be more concerned though for the term 'Hate' when feeling uncomfortable about the use of a word. Its a horrible term...for anything really.

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Are people daft or what?

 

If someone says “Dave passed away last week” do you wander off in confusion wondering if they’re really dead or not - worrying that the person thinks Dave is still alive - it’s a turn of phrase stop being daft.

 

I haven't seen any posts suggesting that people are confused by what the term "passed away" means. Who was this post aimed at?

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Don't pets cross over the rainbow bridge?

 

Dogs mainly I think.

 

Angel1.

 

---------- Post added 21-10-2017 at 14:04 ----------

 

I have worked in pet rescue for over 20 years, and that is still one I can't stand. Just the concept of poor animals being stuck waiting for the owner that won't be coming because they don't believe in an afterlife is one issue, and the cloyingly saccharine sweet 'everything is perfect' once they're dead is another. No, they're dead and the good part is that they're not continuing to struggle with whatever it was that got to them in the end.

 

My dog is well into the age when she could pop her big furry clodhopping clogs at any point, and when that happens I will be sad, but I will be grateful for all of the years of fabulous companionship and world class eyebrow work and groans that she brought into my life, but not so grateful for all of the mud. I will be thankful that she's no longer going through the daily struggle that she currently has with joints that are slowing her down more and more, but not because of some notion that she's now young again and waiting in a field for me.

 

If you work in animal rescue though, sometimes it's good to just be quiet and let people say what they're going to say and feel what they're going to feel, because trying to stop people believing in the rainbow bridge would definitely constitute cruelty to quite a lot of people.

 

 

You have the wrong concept about the Rainbow Bridge in my humble opinion.

 

Time there is different to ours, what is years to us is but a fleeting second over the bridge. That's what I like to think any way.

 

It's odd that I have no doubt that when we are dead that's it, the end. But somehow our long dead pets will get to meet us again. I have no explanation for it, wish I had.

 

Angel1.

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