Are breadcakes manna from heaven or tasteless filling skimping pap?

[daducky88]

Today in Sheffield an unsuspecting public is being sold breadcakes.

 

This so called speciality (read ruin) of the bread world is a spongy tastleless pap mass produced soft bap which easily holds the contents of any filling. But enough of its virtues, what other features characterise the sheffield breadcake (SBC)?

 

Approximately 5 inches wide and 3 high, it swallows a 3 inch wide burger or 2 or 3 slices of bacon with ease. Typically sold without the flavour encumbrance of butter (no rxpense spent), the breadcake more often than not offers a good inch on every side untouched by filling, all the more to delight expectant Sheffield customers, who are reputed by the owner of Sarnlight Sarnies, Stanley Ribsworth to moan orgiastically as they chomp into their SBCs. However he teputes, he might give up his popular comestible emporium as the customers have are grumbling about too much filling in the centre 3 inches ruining the blandness.

 

But what of the poor sandwich shop seller. The ratio of 3 inch burger to 5inch wide SBC at 36% the SBC's area is what keeps him awake at night. He'll be ruined! . Aye the poor loves have to fill their SBCs by as much as up to 36% area! No wonder everyone's turning in to mega lump, sighs Stan.

 

So there we have it ladies and gentleman. The SBC, the wonder of Sheffield. Long may it dominate the tastefree offerings of sandwich shops across Sheffield.

Edited January 27, 2018 by daducky88