Why do people smash stuff up when frustrated or angry?

[Mister Gee]

It does indeed start at home, and the softly softly approach to discipline at home and at school in the last 30 years or so has almost certainly contributed to this IMHO !

 

I remember the pubs on London Road being shut and boarded up on match days at Bramall Lane in the 70's. People seemed to like smashing things up on a grand scale back then. When was the last time a band smashed up their set, instruments or trashed an hotel room? It seemed to be all the rage before softly softly and the end of discipline at home.

[Michael_W]

I remember the pubs on London Road being shut and boarded up on match days at Bramall Lane in the 70's. People seemed to like smashing things up on a grand scale back then. When was the last time a band smashed up their set, instruments or trashed an hotel room? It seemed to be all the rage before softly softly and the end of discipline at home.

 

Much of what you mention is the result of mob mentality rather than individual anger, we see that when anarchists and rioters hit the streets never mind football fans.

Regardless of the history of people smashing things up, do you think discipline has improved in the last 30 years ?

Anna mentioned what some parents allow their children to get away with, I agreed, how about you, do you think anger or loss of control can sometimes be down to bad parenting ?

Edited April 18, 2018 by Michael_W

[area 51]

I feel like smashing things up when i am totally stressed at work but i would not smash my own stuff up,somebody elses yeh.

[Ridgewalk]

Do you think we can fairly judge others though, without first experiencing their frustrations? People maybe exposed to greater levels of pressure and frustration than we ourselves are; they may also not be so fortunate to have been given the same education as ourselves, or develop the same cognitive structures and coping mechanics.

 

Very easy to stand in judgement of another man, without first standing in his shoes. Especially on the internet![/quote

 

 

People should take personal responsibility for their bad behaviours and not seek to minimise, rationalise or project responsibility onto others.

 

People who can’t are dangerous to be around.

 

---------- Post added 24-04-2018 at 17:52 ----------

 

Twas Brexit what dun it.

 

Angel1

 

 

 

Well that was one big tantrum. Let’s worry about the consequences later and pass the responsibility, burden, onto others

[Waldo]

People should take personal responsibility for their bad behaviours and not seek to minimise, rationalise or project responsibility onto others.

 

I agree. Is anyone doing that (minimise, rationalise or project responsibility onto others) though?

 

People who can’t are dangerous to be around.

 

Yep! Almost as dangerous as people who lack understanding and compassion!

[Bob Arctor]

It's simply a lack of self control.

 

Babies have tantrums, this is just the grown up version.

They should have learned better long ago and grown out of it.

They need to get a grip.

 

Some people have been on the receiving end of very poor parenting and haven't been helped to develop positive ways of dealing with situations that can provoke this sort of response, and end up carrying their childhood responses into adulthood. They need help, not to "get a grip". And there is no anger management therapy available in Sheffield most of the time. Mind sometimes run it but only infrequently and it's always over-subscribed.

[Waldo]

Some people have been on the receiving end of very poor parenting and haven't been helped to develop positive ways of dealing with situations that can provoke this sort of response, and end up carrying their childhood responses into adulthood. They need help, not to "get a grip". And there is no anger management therapy available in Sheffield most of the time. Mind sometimes run it but only infrequently and it's always over-subscribed.

 

Well said Bob.

 

Other people may not be so fortunate as ourselves, and we can take our own good fortune (our upbringing, the values and cognitive skills that our parents and education have instilled in us, that our parents made us feel loved and loveable) for granted. As such, when we look down on others (who are not so fortunate) or consider ourselves superior, we're not really considering the whole picture, or being fair, or at all helpful to someone who may be in need of help.

[Bob Arctor]

Well said Bob.

 

Other people may not be so fortunate as ourselves, and we can take our own good fortune (our upbringing, the values and cognitive skills that our parents and education have instilled in us, that our parents made us feel loved and loveable) for granted. As such, when we look down on others (who are not so fortunate) or consider ourselves superior, we're not really considering the whole picture, or being fair, or at all helpful to someone who may be in need of help.

 

It's worse than that; people who have been shown how to manage situations, been taught positive coping strategies and good decision making skills, often congratulate themselves on having these abilities as if they acquired them through their own hard work and innate superiority, when in the main they just got lucky with who their parents were.

[redted50]

I'm not sure if this is something everyone experiences or not; I suppose a lot depends on what frustrations you're exposed to in life, and how equipped (mentally) you are to process them (i.e. to clearly understand what's going on, why you're ****** off, and formulate an appropriate response).

 

It's happened to me a few times, and I know several friends have had the same; when you feel massively overwhelmed and angry and have these irrational impulses to lash out, break stuff, smash your hand in to the door, etc.

 

It's sheer madness of course, if you do smash your hand, you still have the exact same problem, but now you can enjoy it with a broken hand. Maybe the best strategy sometimes is to do nothing, allow everything to overwhelm you and let things pan out however they will, you're going to die anyway, right? So why struggle?

Yeah i know a few people like that.Never understood why they do it.My old next door neighbour once fetched me round to show me his new kitchen he’d had put in.A week later and a few beers later,has a bit argument with his missus and smashed it to smitherines. Lol

Why?

[Waldo]

It's worse than that; people who have been shown how to manage situations, been taught positive coping strategies and good decision making skills, often congratulate themselves on having these abilities as if they acquired them through their own hard work and innate superiority, when in the main they just got lucky with who their parents were.

 

Yep, I know exactly what you mean Bob.

 

The following links to a short story about privilege, which I think illustrates the point very well.

 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/nathanwpyle/this-teacher-taught-his-class-a-powerful-lesson-about-privil

 

---------- Post added 26-04-2018 at 00:20 ----------

 

Yeah i know a few people like that.Never understood why they do it.My old next door neighbour once fetched me round to show me his new kitchen he’d had put in.A week later and a few beers later,has a bit argument with his missus and smashed it to smitherines. Lol

Why?

 

I guess you'd really have to be in his head to fully understand; frustration I guess?