Why do people smash stuff up when frustrated or angry?

[Jomie]

Quote Bob Arctor: It's worse than that; people who have been shown how to manage situations, been taught positive coping strategies and good decision making skills, often congratulate themselves on having these abilities as if they acquired them through their own hard work and innate superiority, when in the main they just got lucky with who their parents were.

I don't see anyone being superior in this thread. Parents usually do their best when raising their children but they are only human and everyone makes mistakes. Nobody has the perfect childhood.

 

To a certain extent I can go along with the notion that this kind of behaviour is the product of nurture but if that is wholly the case then how come siblings do not always express anger/frustration in the same way? It's easy to pass the blame on to someone/something else but much harder to examine, and deal with it oneself.

[Chelle-82]

I'm not sure if this is something everyone experiences or not; I suppose a lot depends on what frustrations you're exposed to in life, and how equipped (mentally) you are to process them (i.e. to clearly understand what's going on, why you're ****** off, and formulate an appropriate response).

 

It's happened to me a few times, and I know several friends have had the same; when you feel massively overwhelmed and angry and have these irrational impulses to lash out, break stuff, smash your hand in to the door, etc.

 

It's sheer madness of course, if you do smash your hand, you still have the exact same problem, but now you can enjoy it with a broken hand. Maybe the best strategy sometimes is to do nothing, allow everything to overwhelm you and let things pan out however they will, you're going to die anyway, right? So why struggle?

 

Hahahaaa my Dad used to do that but with his head!

[Bob Arctor]

I don't see anyone being superior in this thread. Parents usually do their best when raising their children but they are only human and everyone makes mistakes. Nobody has the perfect childhood.

 

To a certain extent I can go along with the notion that this kind of behaviour is the product of nurture but if that is wholly the case then how come siblings do not always express anger/frustration in the same way? It's easy to pass the blame on to someone/something else but much harder to examine, and deal with it oneself.

 

That's why I said "In the main". There will always be exceptions and I don't believe that only nurture counts, but in 25 years of working with people with problems I have found that it is generally the case that people who were better parented do better. Which is obvious really, otherwise the abuse and neglect of children wouldn't be a problem.

[Jomie]

Quote Bob Arctor: .....but in 25 years of working with people with problems I have found that it is generally the case that people who were better parented do better.

This statement makes complete sense and is a sound reason why resources need to be given to helping people become better parents.