Pointing out differences between men and women, is mysoginistic?

[altus]

51 minutes ago, Hots on said:

What has women being traditionally and mainly the child rearers got to do with fathers merely having access to their kids after a break up?

It feeds into the same thing. How easy do women who don't get custody of children find trying to maintain access? If they have the same difficulty and expense that men in a similar situation do then the unfairness is in women being given custody more than men rather than the difficulty/expense of maintaining access.

 

Don't get me wrong. I think men are generally treated unfairly when it comes to custody/access to children after divorce, but I think focussing on the symptoms rather than the underlying causes of that unfairness won't solve the problem.

[Guest makapaka]

1 hour ago, altus said:

The only way that's going to change is if women stop being seen a primary child rearers. That will only happen if a large enough proportion of fathers become the ones who give up work to look after their children whilst their partner goes out to work rather than the other way round.

Stop being seen as primary child rearers or choosing not to be primary childer rearers?

 

If you asked most women who have just given birth whether they want to go straight back to work full-time or stay at home and look after their child what do you think the answer would be.

[altus]

6 minutes ago, makapaka said:

Stop being seen as primary child rearers or choosing not to be primary childer rearers?

 

If you asked most women who have just given birth whether they want to go straight back to work full-time or stay at home and look after their child what do you think the answer would be.

Primary child rearer is the one who does the most not the one who does the first few months.

 

If you asked most men who have children past breastfeeding if they'd give up work to look after their children so their partner could go back to work full-time what do you think their answer would be?

[Guest makapaka]

1 minute ago, altus said:

Primary child rearer is the one who does the most not the one who does the first few months.

 

If you asked most men who have children past breastfeeding if they'd give up work to look after their children so their partner could go back to work full-time what do you think their answer would be?

I think they would love to.

 

I certainly would have.

[Halibut]

22 hours ago, Hots on said:

What has women being traditionally and mainly the child rearers got to do with fathers merely having access to their kids after a break up?

Thinking never has been a strong point for you has it?

[Hots on]

On ‎11‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 10:31 AM, Halibut said:

Thinking never has been a strong point for you has it?

So there's a couple, the man goes out to work, the woman is the full time rearer (is that a word??), they split up. Explain to me why the man in this scenario should not have access to the children.

[Halibut]

16 hours ago, Hots on said:

So there's a couple, the man goes out to work, the woman is the full time rearer (is that a word??), they split up. Explain to me why the man in this scenario should not have access to the children.

Like I said, thinking isn't really your bag. Why would I not want the bloke to access the children? I would want the bloke to be able to see his children - provided there aren't good reasons why he shouldn't.

[Hots on]

19 minutes ago, Halibut said:

Like I said, thinking isn't really your bag. Why would I not want the bloke to access the children? I would want the bloke to be able to see his children - provided there aren't good reasons why he shouldn't.

altus in post 29 seem to be suggesting that the reason/justification for dads often having to jump through hoops to see their own kids after a break up is because usually the women in the relationship are the primary child carers. That's how it read to me any way.

 

I questioned why women being the primary child carers should have any bearing on the men merely having access to their kids after a break up. You then called me "hard of thinking", suggesting that you concur with Altus's position on this,.

 

Edited December 2, 2018 by Hots on

[leviathan13]

On 11/29/2018 at 11:04 AM, altus said:

The only way that's going to change is if women stop being seen a primary child rearers. That will only happen if a large enough proportion of fathers become the ones who give up work to look after their children whilst their partner goes out to work rather than the other way round.

It's not as simple as that, having had first hand experience.

 

My ex said a few things about me in court, none of which were true, but the judge believed her automatically and i wasn't given chance to explain my side of the story because she's a vulnerable female and i'm an evil man who had the audacity to leave what could be argued as a mentally abusive relationship.

11 hours ago, Halibut said:

Like I said, thinking isn't really your bag. Why would I not want the bloke to access the children? I would want the bloke to be able to see his children - provided there aren't good reasons why he shouldn't.

Just 'see'?

Not have equal parenting rights?

 

Not have equal consideration given to him as a parent that the mother has???

 

This is the problem with the beta males in the modern day... too quick to give up who they are just to virtue signal to look good.

[Phanerothyme]

11 hours ago, leviathan13 said:

 

This is the problem with the beta males in the modern day... too quick to give up who they are just to virtue signal to look good.

Yeah, alpha and beta males - don't let the fact that no-one in zoology believes that tripe anymore stop you from thinking that being an "alpha male" is a reasonable excuse for boorish, domineering behaviour.