Being called sweetheart and petal.

[Halibut]

17 minutes ago, willman said:

Whats the impact of being referred to as a dimwit , isn't that online bullying? 

Bullying? No, for it to bullying it would need to be persistent and ongoing, rather than a one-off very minor insult. As for the impact, it's entirely subjective - you'd have to ask the person it was aimed at. 

A bit like 'petal' or 'sweetheart'.

[willman]

1 minute ago, Halibut said:

Are you asking me as an individual whether I do? How is that relevant to anything at all?

As it happens I can't recall a shop assistant using terms of endearment to me, but occasionally I've been called 'love' by busdrivers. It didn't bother me in the slightest. The OP was referring to her experience and I still maintain it's highly patronising and arrogant for you to say  ''so they weren't really offended by terms of endearment at all.'' on the basis that she didn't mind love. This despite her pointing out why she didn't mind 'love ' and why she did find 'sweetheart' and 'petal' a bit much.

Its relevant to the fact that you as an individual put up with the exact behaviour you are villifiying and therefore enable it in society. Bitching on here isn't going to stop it IF you feel so strongly about it.

The op gladly accepts love - a term of endearment so she should either complain about it all or accept it all. You can't be only partly offended. I don't care  if you find my tone patronising or arrogant i'd rather be both than a hypocrite or a liar in this context. A man has killed himself today as his behaviour at a party has been called in to question - he may be guilty he may be innocent but this sort of crap is the base reason why he felt bullied into suicide.

3 minutes ago, Halibut said:

Bullying? No, for it to bullying it would need to be persistent and ongoing, rather than a one-off very minor insult. As for the impact, it's entirely subjective - you'd have to ask the person it was aimed at. 

A bit like 'petal' or 'sweetheart'.

"Name calling may also occur online. When this happens, unless you know the person who said it is joking, the intent is malicious. When name calling is meant with malicious intent, it is always considered bullying. " Quoted from an online bullying  helpline to help educational facilities deal with bullying and name calling.

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/name-calling-vs-bullying.html

[Halibut]

4 minutes ago, makapaka said:

No - it’s irrational to be offended by an inoffensive term.

 

 

Whether a term is inoffensive is subjective, so rationality is neither here nor there. Some people find being called 'sweetheart' or 'petal' or 'dimwit' or 'sugar tits' offensive. Some don't. Get over it, stop tying yourself in knots over it, move on.

[Shafeeq]

Wow. Wow.

 

I cannot believe how this little topic has lead to so many messages, and clearly, ironically, the intent behind childish slurs is not a positive one.  I only joined the forum yesterday.  Clearly I will need to be very selective how I spend my time.

 

Over and out on this topic, good people of Sheffield!

[Halibut]

3 minutes ago, willman said:

Quote

Its relevant to the fact that you as an individual put up with the exact behaviour you are villifiying and therefore enable it in society. Bitching on here isn't going to stop it IF you feel so strongly about it.

Wow, you're really going big on the 'making things up that the person you're responding to hasn't actually said' strategy today aren't you?

I haven't said I put with it. I said I hadn't experienced it. Point out the bit where I vilify it. Of course you can't.

 

Quote

The op gladly accepts love - a term of endearment so she should either complain about it all or accept it all.

What utter nonsense is this now? So you're telling her what she can and can't be offended by for starters. You're also completely failing to recognise the notion that there are there are degrees to which people find things either acceptable otherwise. We'd probably both agree that 'love' is pretty inoffensive, yes?  What about darling, loverboy, sweetcheeks, sugar tits? Different people have different degrees to which they find such terms acceptable - and here you are telling the OP (who just happens to be a woman, funny that) that she has to accept all of it or none of it. If we follow that logic the shop assistant could have called her sweetheart, sweetcheeks, sugartits and darling and she's supposed to suck it up and say nothing.

 

 

Quote

You can't be only partly offended. I don't care  if you find my tone patronising or arrogant i'd rather be both than a hypocrite or a liar in this context.

There you go again, telling other people what they can't do. Do you vote Tory by any chance?

 

 

 

 

[Halibut]

26 minutes ago, willman said:

Quote

A man has killed himself today as his behaviour at a party has been called in to question - he may be guilty he may be innocent but this sort of crap is the base reason why he felt bullied into suicide.

This kind of crap? You mean to say that women being able to say how they feel about being spoken to in certain ways is crap? Is that really what you're saying? Judging by the way you disbelieve the OP and tell what she's allowed to feel and do, yes it is.

  Women complaining about poor behaviour from men does not constitute bullying.

 

Quote

 

"Name calling may also occur online. When this happens, unless you know the person who said it is joking, the intent is malicious. When name calling is meant with malicious intent, it is always considered bullying. " Quoted from an online bullying  helpline to help educational facilities deal with bullying and name calling.

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/name-calling-vs-bullying.html

 

Very charitable of you to take a stand in support of your fellow man. By all means report my outrageous 'bullying' and use of the highly offensive derogatory term 'dimwit' if it makes you feel any better at your arrogant dismissal of a woman's experience of being made to feel uncomfortable by a man - not to mention the cheap tactic of using a story about suicide to try and paint men as victims.

 

[ANGELFIRE1]

58 minutes ago, WiseOwl182 said:

I was called flower in a shop once.

 

#MeToo.

If you can remember Charlie Williams one time Doncaster Rovers footballer and latterly turned Comedian had the catchphrase,   "me old flower" didn't see many complaints about it.

 

Nearer home, my late Mum had a stock reply to these kinds of sayings, or to hear someone swearing,  " it's better hearing such things than being deaf. " still sounds like good advice to me.

 

Angel1.

[Gleadly]

Wish someone would call me sweetheart...

 

[willman]

41 minutes ago, Halibut said:

 

You admitted to being called love and put up with it.  So terms of endearment are ok  or not ? 

When it suits in a public confrontation you choose to ignore it,thereby empowering men to continue with the same behaviour inperpituity.

[Broakham]

54 minutes ago, Shafeeq said:

Wow. Wow.

 

I cannot believe how this little topic has lead to so many messages, and clearly, ironically, the intent behind childish slurs is not a positive one.  I only joined the forum yesterday.  Clearly I will need to be very selective how I spend my time.

 

Over and out on this topic, good people of Sheffield!

Stick with it for while Shafeeq. Eventually you will recognise who the self-righteous, virtue-signalling bandwagon jumpers are. Once they swoop down on a thread, that is the time to bale out and go do something more interesting like cleaning the cats litter tray.