The Great Big Chav Megathread... ALL discussion of Chavs here.

[bladesufc1]

They should al be stuck in a room and gas them all.

 

 

now thats a litle strong dont you think!! i'm sure some people think that about people being gay,black,white, chinese but they dont put comments to that effect do they!

[Beakerzoid]

You work in a cinema? Jobsworth! Let people get their money's worth.

 

Hey, games of "Chase the screen-jumper" are the highlight of my weekends! Particularly loved the group of 4 lads, all in bright "like in a Persil ad" white tracksuits and baseball caps who thought they'd got away with sneaking into the screen. I gave them a minute, walked in, and they literally were glowing in the dark for all to see. Even then they tried to make out they had tickets!

 

Genrally though, these scumbags then go on to ruin the film for everyone else by playing with their 'phone of the week' or throwing stuff at people who have paid...thus by kicking the little sods out I am, indeed, letting the people get their money's worth.

[muddycoffee]

I find it altogether confusing why anybody would wear any kind of sportswear if they are not currently engaged in sport.

 

Especially if they have grown so fat they can hardly move. However I found out the other week from a doley mate that these tracksuits are one size fits all, and they just stretch to fit no matter how many chicken tonight meals you eat.

A kind of adult baby-gro

[MrMotorcycle]

An adult babygrow, you say. Hhmmm... that's interesting, and it makes sense. Alas, it's a shame that as they grow into adults they end up swapping the tracksuits for orange overalls and these newfangled electronic tagging devices courtesy of H.M. prisons.

 

Oh, and let's not confuse the overweight slobs who wear tracksuits with the chav's. The chav's are usually rake thin. They're probably equally as unhealthy though, but for very different reasons (malnutrition? I doubt the parents spend their hard-earned benefits money on food for their offspring - they need it for more important things like cigarettes, drugs and pregnancy test kits).

 

Has anyone seen these higher-order chav's? The ones who tuck even their jackets / Henry Lloyd jumpers into their tracksuit bottoms? Are they the 'dons'? Some kind of elite chav crew with extra status? Can someone in-the-know explain please?

[timo]

An adult babygrow, you say. Hhmmm... that's interesting, and it makes sense. Alas, it's a shame that as they grow into adults they end up swapping the tracksuits for orange overalls and these newfangled electronic tagging devices courtesy of H.M. prisons.

 

Oh, and let's not confuse the overweight slobs who wear tracksuits with the chav's. The chav's are usually rake thin. They're probably equally as unhealthy though, but for very different reasons (malnutrition? I doubt the parents spend their hard-earned benefits money on food for their offspring - they need it for more important things like cigarettes, drugs and pregnancy test kits).

 

Has anyone seen these higher-order chav's? The ones who tuck even their jackets / Henry Lloyd jumpers into their tracksuit bottoms? Are they the 'dons'? Some kind of elite chav crew with extra status? Can someone in-the-know explain please?

 

They are very probably Dons in the academic sense, old fruit. At Central University Neepsend Tip Site [where I am currently Vice-Chancellor], our Professor of Advanced Alchopop Studies is known to favour the sartorial elegance of Henry Lloyd jumpers and soiled ''trackie bottoms''. He feels that he can be, ''really myself'' in the exciting, urban uniform of our multicultural, polysexual, 'diverse', alive and throbbing inner-city 'melting pots'. Doubtless, he is contributing, in a very real sense, towards 'widening participation' in the new polyversities, whilst earning well-deserved ''maximum respec''' from the drug-dealers, pimps, Booty Hoes and slack-jawed, incurious tramps which make up the rich tapestry of our student body.

[Sierra]

Hey, games of "Chase the screen-jumper" are the highlight of my weekends! Particularly loved the group of 4 lads, all in bright "like in a Persil ad" white tracksuits and baseball caps who thought they'd got away with sneaking into the screen. I gave them a minute, walked in, and they literally were glowing in the dark for all to see. Even then they tried to make out they had tickets!

 

Genrally though, these scumbags then go on to ruin the film for everyone else by playing with their 'phone of the week' or throwing stuff at people who have paid...thus by kicking the little sods out I am, indeed, letting the people get their money's worth.

 

I love the glowing in the dark part! What's with the baseball caps if they don't play baseball? Just curious.

 

Sierra

[MrMotorcycle]

perhaps the peak of a baseball cap comes in handy when they're shoplifting? Harder for the CCTV. You might also note when you see them with their baseball caps that the adjuster at the back is pulled very tight, which, I'm sure is 'the style', but probably has a lot to do with their small heads not filling the cap sufficiently. The mix of testosterone & Tenants Superstrength must shrink their single cell amoeba-like brain and thus this species has no need for a large/average head circumference.

[Ousetunes]

When they wake up in a morning, do you think they debate which hoody goes with which tracksuit bottoms? Perhaps there's a hand book that helps them achieve the highest possible 'scutter' rating and they go with that?

 

Well, you normally sleep in the clothes you were wearing on the night you got arrested don't you?

[Ousetunes]

in fact heres a treat

or not

heres me at work (lol) on the fountain with mi old mate jools (R.I.P)

 

http://www.melthebell.dsl.pipex.com/files/pics/Me%20&%20Jools%20Pic.jpg

 

just to prove i aint no chav

 

Crikey, that's an old picture.

 

There are flowers around the fountain and, well I'll go to the foot of our stairs, Goodwin Fountain is working!!!!!!

 

(Couldn't you have sat on one of the benches? You make the place look untidy> )

[prioryx]

There are millions of these "machines" about.

They're called parents.

=

Great answer. Unfortunately they abandon their offspring once they can walk.