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15 hours ago, Chekhov said:

TBH I think a bit more social pressure for couples with kids to stay together would be a good thing.

I think that's an absolutely appalling idea.  Imagine bringing up a child in an atmosphere where two people have grown to despise each other, the two people that have the most profound influence on that child's psychological development in her or his early years, then saying that you're staying together for that child's sake.  Excellent for confirming Larkin's verse, not so much for that child's understanding of relationships and family.

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15 minutes ago, Hecate said:

I think that's an absolutely appalling idea.  Imagine bringing up a child in an atmosphere where two people have grown to despise each other, the two people that have the most profound influence on that child's psychological development in her or his early years, then saying that you're staying together for that child's sake.  Excellent for confirming Larkin's verse, not so much for that child's understanding of relationships and family.

My full quote was :

TBH I think a bit more social pressure for couples with kids to stay together would be a good thing.

That obviously would not extend to genuinely violent or abusive relationships, but I am confident most relationship breakups are not caused by that.

 

Have you got any kids at all ?

 

All the stats say that (on average, obviously) kids with two parents all living together do much better in life. And I am certain that is not just about finances. For boys, particularly wayward boys, it is important to have a father about

 

The story of a child in my lad's school is significant. Back in the early years, when his Dad was about, he was a delightful boy. Friendly, smiley, looking people in the eye and greeting them, in fact, after my lad, he was my favourite boy in the school.

His Dad left and his personality has changed markedly, for the worse, unfortunately. He behaviour has nose dived, he is often on amber or even red. He is no longer friendly, his eyes are on the floor as he walks past you, I don't see him smile much either, and he is also a bit of a bully.  I do not blame his Mum, she has a tough job bringing up two kids on her own, but personally I am pretty sure that lad has suffered grievously from the fact his Dad is not about any more.

 

Edited by Chekhov
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2 minutes ago, Chekhov said:

My full quote was :

TBH I think a bit more social pressure for couples with kids to stay together would be a good thing.

That obviously would not extend to genuinely violent or abusive relationships, but I am confident most relationship breakups are not caused by that.

A relationship does not have to be violent or abusive to be poisonous, obviously.

 

3 minutes ago, Chekhov said:

Have you got any kids at all ?

We're talking about parents aren't we, and the effect that personal and parental relationship has on the child.  I've been a child and I've had parents.

 

Given that very many parents shouldn't be left in charge of a cabbage, let alone a child, I can't see how having passed on a bit of DNA is a qualification for anything other than giving a lesson in nappy changing.

 

Are you a epidemiologist, virologist, immunologist, scientist or doctor?  No? Then by your reasoning you should shut up about covid.

 

 

2 minutes ago, Chekhov said:

The story of a child in my lad's school is significant. Back in the early years, when his Dad was about, he was a delightful boy. Friendly, smiley, looking people in the eye and greeting them, in fact, after my lad, he was my favourite boy in the school.

His Dad left and his personality has changed markedly, for the worse, unfortunately. He behaviour has nose dived, he is often on amber or even red. He is no longer friendly, his eyes are on the floor as he walks past you, I don't see him smile much either, and he is also a bit of a bully.  I do not blame his Mum, she has a tough job bringing up two kids on her own, but personally I am pretty sure that lad has suffered grievously from the fact his Dad is not about any more.

Nice anecdata.  Don't you think that there might be several variables at play here, things you're unaware of, things that had an effect before that child's parent left, and which he's likely still affected by?

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19 minutes ago, Chekhov said:

All the stats say that (on average, obviously) kids with two parents all living together do much better in life. And I am certain that is not just about finances. For boys, particularly wayward boys, it is important to have a father about

Musick & Meier (2010):

 

Quote

Should parents stay together for the sake of the children? Children tend to fare better with both married parents, but mean differences in child well-being mask important variation. Despite caveats concerning potential underestimates of conflict, we find that children from high conflict married-parent families do more poorly in the domains of schooling and substance use, and are at greater risk of early family formation and dissolution, relative to children from low conflict married-parent families. In half of our outcomes, high conflict, stepfather, and single-mother families are statistically indistinguishable in their associations with young adult well-being. These findings hold once account is taken of key mechanisms posited to link family type and child outcomes. They are consistent with recent research on marriage and the well-being of adults, showing that although marriage confers benefits to adults on average, those in poor quality marriages are no better off than the single and, indeed, may fare worse on some measures (Hawkins & Booth, 2005; Williams & Umberson, 2004). We conclude with the perhaps obvious point that marriage is not a blanket prescription for the well-being of children, any more than it is for the well-being of adults. Recent policy initiatives to promote marriage need to take account of how variation within marriage relates to child well-being.

 

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3 hours ago, Hecate said:

Given that very many parents shouldn't be left in charge of a cabbage, let alone a child, I can't see how having passed on a bit of DNA is a qualification for anything other than giving a lesson in nappy changing.

Are you a epidemiologist, virologist, immunologist, scientist or doctor?  No? Then by your reasoning you should shut up about covid.

I thought I knew a bit about parenting, until I became one, and realised it is much harder than I could have imagined.

 

>>Are you a epidemiologist, virologist, immunologist, scientist or doctor?  No? Then by your reasoning you should shut up about covid.<<

 

Given that the record of "experts" (certainly the ones the government were listening to) was worse than tossing a coin (and I mean literally), your point has minimal value :

 

Mid March 2020 : "We could have half a million Covid deaths in the UK"
19 March 2020 : "12 weeks to flatten the curve".
Late March 2020 : "This virus is indiscriminate"
May 2020 : "Politicians have become more cautious about immunisation prospects. They are right to be"
November 2020 : "Modelling suggests 4,000 deaths per day in the worst case scenario".
Spring 2021 : "Get double vaccinated to get out of Covid and back to normal" (it actually took a further year).
May 2021 :  Pupils should keep wearing masks into the summer, Sage told ministers
July 2021 : "Freedom day is irresponsible, we could have 200K cases per day by August".
11 Dec 2021 : "Omicron could cause 75,000 deaths in England by end of April"
Dec 2021 : "Central estimate" 2890 Omicron deaths a day
15 Dec 2021 : "Omicron likely to be the biggest threat of Covid pandemic so far".
  (censored)

 

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