Cancer.

[Padders]

6 minutes ago, hackey lad said:

Very good  😀 . Now enlighten me about Germans and bottoms.

Germans have no sense of humour...

[francypants]

1 hour ago, Padders said:

Germans have no sense of humour...

True  ........   and what little they do have is very childish.    🥴

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Padders said:

I think often about how I shall die and when. I find myself looking at really old people and wondering what it must feel like to know that you've reached a point where your life expectancy is measurable in minutes......

Why aren't they all running around waving their arms in the air panicking, because they surely must know that soon everything that they hold dear-Everything- will be replaced by the utter blackness of Eternity...

 

I get a lot of practice at thinking these things because in my life every Lump, Bump, Cough, Ache and pain is the onset of some terrible killer disease..

I catch Ebola three times a week, and back in January, having discovered a nodule of something unpleasant near my left elbow, became fully convinced I'd become the first person in human history to catch arm cancer...And a few days earlier, I had managed-just-to shake off a nasty bout of ear TB,

Of course, most of my ailments are designed so that I can lay on the sofa feeling sorry for myself, I never really thought I had cancer, so I've never really known what it must be like to stare the Grim Reaper in the face and know my time is up..

Last weekend, however, all that changed........

 

Now I want to make it absolutely plain before I go any further that I do not find bottoms or anything which comes out of them remotely funny...

I am not seven years old and I'm not German. But there's no way of saying what I'm about to say without being lavatorial. I'm sorry for that.

What happened, you see, is that after my usual morning's number twos, I noticed that the water in the bowl was red.. Which meant, of course, that I had, without feeling any pain, passed a small amount of blood..Plainly, I had prostate cancer...

 

I am aware of this disease, I know that it is the most common form of cancer among men and it is likely to strike when the victim is elderly, I even know what colour wristband you should wear to show your support..

I knew, too, that I needed urgently to check mine out..

So, armed with nothing but a well- oiled finger, I went ahead and violated what for all my life has been a strictly enforced one-way street.

I shall spare you the pain and the humiliation of this hideous potholing expedition. but I feel duty bound to explain that once I was in there, ferreting about, I realised  that I didn't know what a prostate is, or what it feels like, or where it is exactly..

It's much the same story with endless requests we get from doctors to check out our testicles for early signs of cancer....

It's ok if you've spent seven years studying medicine, but what if your a fork-lift driver....

 

Anyway, after a bit of research on the internet I discovered that a prostate is about the size of a walnut, and it lives near the rectum.

Eventually I did discover something in my bottom that fitted the description, but with nothing to hand except a soapy index finger, I'm afraid I wasn't able to say whether whatever I'd found was cancer, or that I was in rude good health.. The only evidence I had was the blood, and that really was enough..

I was finished. I wasn't going to last long.

I've heard that when patients are told by Doctors that their tests for cancer are positive, they very often make a joke of some sort.

Wearily, I went downstairs wondering what mine might be...Something about getting the spare room painted, perhaps..

And there in the kitchen was my Daughter. "Morning" she said cheerily,

"Have you been to the Loo yet, because that Beetroot we've been eating doesn't half make it red"

 

I've never felt so happy in my life.................

Good ending.

Saves you having to remember to not buy unripe banana's.

 

 

[cuttsie]

It has been reported on the BBC news this morning that some GP's are refusing to give PSA tests without symptoms  of any thing wrong .

Do not accept that if you know your self that things  are not right .

Peeing a lot over night , poor flow and so on .

A doctor told me I was being paranoid when I insisted on the test  , I was right . He was wrong so do not take no for a answer .

GET TESTED  if you are over 50 or have family history of prostate cancer , you know it makes sense to.

 

Up date to follow soon on my treatment .

[El Cid]

1 hour ago, cuttsie said:

It has been reported on the BBC news this morning that some GP's are refusing to give PSA tests without symptoms  of any thing wrong .

Do not accept that if you know your self that things  are not right .

Peeing a lot over night , poor flow and so on .

Surely they are symptoms?

I have been tested and slightly above normal, but follow up tests just a little lower.

I have been through the biopsy, still nothing. I have poor flow, but not generally overnight wees. It is manageable.

[cuttsie]

1 hour ago, El Cid said:

Surely they are symptoms?

I have been tested and slightly above normal, but follow up tests just a little lower.

I have been through the biopsy, still nothing. I have poor flow, but not generally overnight wees. It is manageable.

Thats OK then , you have had biopsy that would have shown up any problems , Its best to be sure you have done the right thing .

[El Cid]

8 hours ago, cuttsie said:

Thats OK then , you have had biopsy that would have shown up any problems , Its best to be sure you have done the right thing .

Although I believe I am clear, ten needles taking samples, just means that they couldn't find any cancer. They could have missed it.

[cuttsie]

24 minutes ago, El Cid said:

Although I believe I am clear, ten needles taking samples, just means that they couldn't find any cancer. They could have missed it.

Well they are very efficient  so you should be OK  , 

[Thirsty Relic]

2 hours ago, El Cid said:

Although I believe I am clear, ten needles taking samples, just means that they couldn't find any cancer. They could have missed it.

I hope not pal, but I would defer to those who know more about this area - I'm just glad that you are part of  this commuity that helps and informs others.  All the best going forward!

[cuttsie]

Well here is the latest on my treatment , 

A phone call just today from the specialist at Western Park who informed me that my latest blood test has shown a drop in the PSA levels in my blood count . She has sent me to have a further blood test just to make sure but says a drop is a good sign that the radiography treatment is or has worked .

 

She asked about how I felt the treatment has left me feeling and I told her that the hot flushes are still a problem along with the constant getting up to pee at night . She told me the flushes should get less over the coming months but that I am probably stuck with the night time getting up to wee , 

So on the whole things are looking up for me due to the Wonderfull treatment at Western Park and the Hallamshire.

 

I have been having acupuncture sessions to help with the hot flushes , loved em so relaxing but did not work for me although others swore by them .

Any way  lads and lasses ,any doubts as to peeing a lot at night or lumps in breasts and so on ,    get tested it may save your life .