When Are Old People Put Into Care?

[El Cid]

A 94 year old relative has had a few instances of being up at 3am and thinking it was daytime.

My estranged mother was put into care when she went on a trip hundreds of miles away with no means of return.

But my 94 year old relative is managing to still live on his own.

 

He is tight and will not pay for anything, so no extra help. He has £50K+ savings.

He is not a close relative, but I do take part in his care.

I don't think I would want to go into care.

[cuttsie]

My birth mother (not my real mother who fostered me)  was 91 when she was put into a old folks home in Cleethorpes .

She escaped one Sunday and I got a phone call from a  local food pub who did Sunday lunch , She had flagged down a Taxi and arrived there ,   She then ordered full Sunday Lunch  and three whiskeys , 

 

The lunch was eaten , the whiskeys supped , the bill presented and  then it was  reveiled that she was skint no money .

"Phone my son in  Sheffield "She said , " He will pay " , They did and I told em to pithe off . 

We had not met until she was 90 and she was not keen on seeing me then so we were not close .

Any way they put her on the phone and she said in her plum in the gob accent , "How dare you not pay for your mothers lunch and drinks . 

 

I told her that as I was in Sheffield it would be a bit  of a problem , She slammed the phone down . 

Any way she never returned to the old folks home , The pub arranged a car to take her to her home where she remained until  she died at 99 years old . I visited her on a few occasions in my three wheeler Reliant Robin , She refused to ride in it saying it was unsafe .  Until I said "well I am going to the  Coach House for lunch " She was in that three wheeler like streak lightning , her first words on entering , "Get your mother a whiskey " 

Her local shop kept her pension book . she would phone them and Tell!!! them to deliver her supply's  . The supplies were usually a bottle of sherry or a bottle of Scotch .

She died at 99 penny less , 

Edited December 10, 2022 by cuttsie

[cressida]

Did she own her home?

[cuttsie]

1 hour ago, cuttsie said:

My birth mother (not my real mother who fostered me)  was 91 when she was put into a old folks home in Cleethorpes .

She escaped one Sunday and I got a phone call from a  local food pub who did Sunday lunch , She had flagged down a Taxi and arrived there ,   She then ordered full Sunday Lunch  and three whiskeys , 

 

The lunch was eaten , the whiskeys supped , the bill presented and  then it was  reveiled that she was skint no money .

"Phone my son in  Sheffield "Beatrice said , " He will pay " , They did and I told em to pithe off . 

We had not met until she was 90 and she was not keen on seeing me then so we were not close .

Any way they put her on the phone and she said in her plum in the gob accent , "How dare you not pay for your mothers lunch and drinks . 

 

I told her that as I was in Sheffield it would be a bit  of a problem , She slammed the phone down . 

Any way she never returned to the old folks home , The pub arranged a car to take her to her home where she remained until  she died at 99 years old . I visited her on a few occasions in my three wheeler Reliant Robin , She refused to ride in it saying it was unsafe .  Until I said "well I am going to the  Coach House for lunch " She was in that three wheeler like streak lightning , her first words on entering , "Get your mother a whiskey " 

Her local shop kept her pension book . she would phone them and Tell!!! them to deliver her supply's  . The supplies were usually a bottle of sherry or a bottle of Scotch .

She died at 99 penny less , 

no

[pattricia]

1 hour ago, cuttsie said:

My birth mother (not my real mother who fostered me)  was 91 when she was put into a old folks home in Cleethorpes .

She escaped one Sunday and I got a phone call from a  local food pub who did Sunday lunch , She had flagged down a Taxi and arrived there ,   She then ordered full Sunday Lunch  and three whiskeys , 

 

The lunch was eaten , the whiskeys supped , the bill presented and  then it was  reveiled that she was skint no money .

"Phone my son in  Sheffield "Beatrice said , " He will pay " , They did and I told em to pithe off . 

We had not met until she was 90 and she was not keen on seeing me then so we were not close .

Any way they put her on the phone and she said in her plum in the gob accent , "How dare you not pay for your mothers lunch and drinks . 

 

I told her that as I was in Sheffield it would be a bit  of a problem , She slammed the phone down . 

Any way she never returned to the old folks home , The pub arranged a car to take her to her home where she remained until  she died at 99 years old . I visited her on a few occasions in my three wheeler Reliant Robin , She refused to ride in it saying it was unsafe .  Until I said "well I am going to the  Coach House for lunch " She was in that three wheeler like streak lightning , her first words on entering , "Get your mother a whiskey " 

Her local shop kept her pension book . she would phone them and Tell!!! them to deliver her supply's  . The supplies were usually a bottle of sherry or a bottle of Scotch .

She died at 99 penny less , 

What an excellent post.!

[cuttsie]

Just now, pattricia said:

What an excellent post.!

She was a real character Pat , Also a talented  Violin and piano player , 

She entertained the German prisoners at Lodge Moor in the  war , I was born in 1943    LOL .

[Anna B]

I was unaware until recently that hospitals can insist on people going into care whether they want to or not. They simply won't let them return home. 

 

I saw this happen recently when I was in a hospital. The person in question was 69, and in hospital for a fall, but no bones broken. They were in floods of tears when they were told, and the response was 'It's no use making a fuss, you're going, you've got no choice.'

 

I'm still not sure they had the right to do this. Maybe someone on here can explain the legal aspect. 

 

 

[cuttsie]

20 minutes ago, Anna B said:

I was unaware until recently that hospitals can insist on people going into care whether they want to or not. They simply won't let them return home. 

 

I saw this happen recently when I was in a hospital. The person in question was 69, and in hospital for a fall, but no bones broken. They were in floods of tears when they were told, and the response was 'It's no use making a fuss, you're going, you've got no choice.'

 

I'm still not sure they had the right to do this. Maybe someone on here can explain the legal aspect. 

 

 

Old age should rage against the dieing of the day , rage rage at the coming of the night.

[Becky B]

6 hours ago, Anna B said:

I was unaware until recently that hospitals can insist on people going into care whether they want to or not. They simply won't let them return home. 

 

I saw this happen recently when I was in a hospital. The person in question was 69, and in hospital for a fall, but no bones broken. They were in floods of tears when they were told, and the response was 'It's no use making a fuss, you're going, you've got no choice.'

 

I'm still not sure they had the right to do this. Maybe someone on here can explain the legal aspect. 

 

 

Do you know the full details of that person's medical and mental health background and social history?

 

This is akin to saying to someone "but you don't look disabled"...

[El Cid]

17 minutes ago, Becky B said:

Do you know the full details of that person's medical and mental health background and social history?

 

This is akin to saying to someone "but you don't look disabled"...

My 94 year old relative is seen by his daughter twice per week, but she has mental health problems, so not really the right person to be looking after him.