Hair Transplant Advice.

[Padders]

The New Year is approaching and I'm thinking about having a Hair transplant..

The reason being, 

 I'm having no success with the ladies, so I'm wondering if a full head of hair would help me "Pull"

I've done a bit of research on this subject, and found that Jimmy White (Snooker player) has a full head of hair after his transplant.

However,

I don't want to be unduly rude to Wayne Rooney the irritating little brat who played football for Man Utd has had one.

Now he is a very ugly little troll with sticky out ears and a bald head, after his transplant he's now a very ugly little troll with sticky out ears and a bit of hair.

It's an improvement but only in the same way a 20 stone person loses 1 pound.

 

So I'm wondering about this Hair Transplant business,

Did Silvio Berlusconi, for instance, think that if he emptied the contents of the sweep-up bag from the local hair port beauty salon on to his bonce, he could burst back onto the world stage looking like George Clooney?

No he doesn't, he just looks like an oily perma-tanned buffoon with a Hair Transplant.

 

I have a hair loss problem, it's all falling out at the back, but I know for several thousand pounds I could have it fixed, but would it be worth it?

I'd still look like a telegraph pole that had eaten a space hopper, fixing my hair hole would be like trying to improve the overall appearance of the Elephant Man by cutting his fingernails.

There's no doubt about it cosmetic surgery can boost your self-confidence, and I'm sure Botox would be useful if I want to look impassive during a game of poker.

 

Every New Year I look down at the vast stomach that hangs over my trousers, and decide to do summat about it, so I start exercising, not drinking anything more exciting than Ribena, eating like a mouse, And it works, but wouldn't it be easier to pop into a hospital and have the fat hoovered out?

Some chaps when they go bald think it's a good idea to grow a beard, Why? it just looks like your face is on upside down.

Others go down the Wayne Rooney route, and finish up with hair that grows like conifers on a Scottish hillside.

 

Worst of all though, are these chaps who believe they can hold off the ageing process with dye.

I've been able to suss this out by observing Sir Paul McCartneys hair, by all accounts he uses the very best hair-colouring products that Boots can provide, and yet he looks like a man walking around with a dead Red Kite on his head.

It's much the same story with Mick Jagger, does he really think as he flounces down the street with that luxuriant auburn barnet quivering slightly in the breeze that passers-by will mistake him for a seventeen year old?

Crowning that wind battered old face with hair is like crowning York Minster with Solar panels.

All I'm trying to do is make myself more attractive to the opposite sex, has anyone on the Forum had an Hair Transplant, how much did it cost, was it worth it, did it boost your self-confidence, and most of all did it attract the opposite sex...

Thanks for any replies.

 

[cressida]

Shaun Williamson who played Barry in Eastenders has had a hair transplant,  it looks quite natural,  I think ic cost £10,000 but he probably got it for free  because he is well known.

[hackey lad]

If you’re not having much luck with the ladies, forget the hair transplant .  Just give me lifetime membership of Padders bar , become my apprentice and I will train you in the act of Lurve , using my years of extensive knowledge of the wooing the ladies 

[cuttsie]

My old pal Alf Ward who was landlord of The Gardeners Rest on Neepsend Lane at one time , used to wear a rug . 

Alf had been as bold as a badger for many years until he got fitted for his hair piece at Taylors on Surrey Street , It cost him eighty quid with two fittings and glue .

Any way as the night got later and the Gardeners tap room got hotter , Alfs face would turn red and sweat would start rolling down his face , The glue would come un stuck  and the blond wig would slowly tip. forward until Alf had had enough . He would then yank the bloooody thing off his head and chuck it at who ever was sat opposite the bar ,

Strangers to the pub were always subject to Alfs temper '

Alf was A Walkley lad and a legend to the locals . RIP Alf 

[Padders]

4 minutes ago, cuttsie said:

My old pal Alf Ward who was landlord of The Gardeners Rest on Neepsend Lane at one time , used to wear a rug . 

Alf had been as bold as a badger for many years until he got fitted for his hair piece at Taylors on Surrey Street , It cost him eighty quid with two fittings and glue .

Any way as the night got later and the Gardeners tap room got hotter , Alfs face would turn red and sweat would start rolling down his face , The glue would come un stuck  and the blond wig would slowly tip. forward until Alf had had enough . He would then yank the bloooody thing off his head and chuck it at who ever was sat opposite the bar ,

Strangers to the pub were always subject to Alfs temper '

Alf was A Walkley lad and a legend to the locals . RIP Alf 

Thanks for that Cuttsie,

Reminds me of our Forum dream girl Pattricia,

She had a date with this dishy doctor, but as she saw him approaching a gust of wind blew his wig off,

Pat did an about turn and scarpered.

It's got to be a transplant for me.

[hackey lad]

Honestly mate , after a few weeks under my tutelage,  you will be known as the Longley Lothario  

[Padders]

5 minutes ago, hackey lad said:

Honestly mate , after a few weeks under my tutelage,  you will be known as the Longley Lothario  

I've been given that title already by Eileen.

[El Cid]

I shaved mine off, the girls love it.

Although it's a pain having to polish it every day 🤠

[Rockers rule]

I'd be giving it a miss Padders,

 

Coronation Street actor Jack P Shepherd gets hair transplant - Bing video

 

 

Of course if you wanted a 'Blue Vein' tattooed on yer bonce I could come out of retirement.

Not sure what caliber of 'squeeze' it'd attract but offer stands.

 Must be worth a try   

 

 

Keep safe out there

 

Rocker .

[The_DADDY]

"I'd still look like a telegraph pole that had eaten a space hopper"

 

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