Whos The Strangest Person On The Forum?

[Ashcroft]

Who ever remembers me getting all my strange posts deleted from roughly 15 years ago I guess you're strange too.

[PRESLEY]

On 04/01/2023 at 21:10, HeHasRisen said:

Yaaaaaasssss!

 

Anyone else? 

Watch this space. 

[cuttsie]

Zakes and his one eyed fish . 

[hackey lad]

1 hour ago, cuttsie said:

Zakes and his one eyed fish . 

Would that be Clarence ? 

[cuttsie]

15 minutes ago, hackey lad said:

Would that be Clarence ? 

Yes it is ,  Are you related  

[hackey lad]

6 minutes ago, cuttsie said:

Yes it is ,  Are you related  

No . Clarence was a legend of Frecheville pond , a monster one eyed carp that every kid in the area dreamt of catching  😃

[cuttsie]

3 minutes ago, hackey lad said:

No . Clarence was a legend of Frecheville pond , a monster one eyed carp that every kid in the area dreamt of catching  😃

I know .

[hackey lad]

14 minutes ago, cuttsie said:

I know .

Ok 

[zakes]

Zakes, Aged 12.

 

How many fish can you get into a pair of my cousin Daphne's fishnet tights?

Answer is:5

Two (h)eels
Two soles
and
A wet pla(i)ce.

 

One-eyed Clarence, a carp, was a friend of mine. He trusted me because he knew I wasn't an angler. He also knew I posed no threat to him, nor to his partner, Clara, who happened to have two eyes.

 

At Birley secondary school, we pupils were not allowed to leave the premises at lunch time. Well, rules were made for breaking, and that's what I did quite often. Sometimes I broke the rules alone, sometimes with a class mate, sometimes Paul White, sometimes Paul Ward, sometimes with Mick Payne.

 

On the days I left the school premises alone, I made my way up the school fields to the partly broken down wall, over which was Cowie Hill. Once on the Cowie Hill side of the wall, I'd duck down behind the wall. I'd then skedaddle towards Fox Lane. Lower down Fox Lane, I would then turn down Hopefield Avenue, then I'd turn into Brushfield Grove. Along this grove I'd stroll to reach Frecheville Community Centre, my intended destination.

 

At the community centre there was a tuck shop which was open for business daily, on weekdays. At the counter I would hail with a smile whichever old bag was on duty that day. I would ask for a pack of five Park Drive plain cigarettes, sometimes five Woodbines plain. When the lady turned around to reach for my ciggies, I would grab, using my legerdemain skills...Toffo, Opal Fruits, chocolate etc. I never reached for anything that had loud crinkly wrappers (Mars,Bounty Topic etc), because it would possibly be heard by the oldster who was serving me. There was no guarantee that she may of been hard of hearing. After being served the cigs, I would then request a book of matches. So the woman serving would turn around again for the matches. This gave me the opportunity again to dip mi bread, to grab more goodies, yum yum.

 

Behind Frecheville Community Centre was, and still is, a lake called Frecheville pond. The lake on sunny days looked like a big blue diamond with it's gentle waves aglitter in the sun. I made my way to the lake which barely took a minute's walk.

 

Looking across the lake with admiration, I always lit up a ciggy, and I did...ah pure bliss. If no one was in sight, I would loudly call out to Clarence, the one-eyed carp, who was king of the blue diamond. I would keep on calling 'til he arrived at the water's edge. I would be stood or sat on the embankment. At times Clara came along with Clarence. They were always pleased to see me, and performed leaps out of the water, back flips, and all the things that fishes can do. Clara and Clarence would then get their reward for their wonderful aquabatics, by way of a square each of Cadbury's Dairy milk chocolate, or on occasion, a Walnut Whip or a Mint Cracknell apiece.

 

Then with time whipping on I'd say goodbye to my fishy friends, then make my way back to school with my maroon coloured school blazer pockets bulging with spice(sweets).

 

This time my route back was up Stanton Crescent where there was a gennel that led up to Fox Lane. Then I went back the route I'd come via Cowie Hill.

 

If you think this story makes me strange, then strange I am. Lol

[hackey lad]

11 minutes ago, zakes said:

Zakes, Aged 12.

 

How many fish can you get into a pair of my cousin Daphne's fishnet tights?

Answer is:5

Two (h)eels
Two soles
and
A wet pla(i)ce.

 

One-eyed Clarence, a carp, was a friend of mine. He trusted me because he knew I wasn't an angler. He also knew I posed no threat to him, nor to his partner, Clara, who happened to have two eyes.

 

At Birley secondary school, we pupils were not allowed to leave the premises at lunch time. Well, rules were made for breaking, and that's what I did quite often. Sometimes I broke the rules alone, sometimes with a class mate, sometimes Paul White, sometimes Paul Ward, sometimes with Mick Payne.

 

On the days I left the school premises alone, I made my way up the school fields to the partly broken down wall, over which was Cowie Hill. Once on the Cowie Hill side of the wall, I'd duck down behind the wall. I'd then skedaddle towards Fox Lane. Lower down Fox Lane, I would then turn down Hopefield Avenue, then I'd turn into Brushfield Grove. Along this grove I'd stroll to reach Frecheville Community Centre, my intended destination.

 

At the community centre there was a tuck shop which was open for business daily, on weekdays. At the counter I would hail with a smile whichever old bag was on duty that day. I would ask for a pack of five Park Drive plain cigarettes, sometimes five Woodbines plain. When the lady turned around to reach for my ciggies, I would grab, using my legerdemain skills...Toffo, Opal Fruits, chocolate etc. I never reached for anything that had loud crinkly wrappers (Mars,Bounty Topic etc), because it would possibly be heard by the oldster who was serving me. There was no guarantee that she may of been hard of hearing. After being served the cigs, I would then request a book of matches. So the woman serving would turn around again for the matches. This gave me the opportunity again to dip mi bread, to grab more goodies, yum yum.

 

Behind Frecheville Community Centre was, and still is, a lake called Frecheville pond. The lake on sunny days looked like a big blue diamond with it's gentle waves aglitter in the sun. I made my way to the lake which barely took a minute's walk.

 

Looking across the lake with admiration, I always lit up a ciggy, and I did...ah pure bliss. If no one was in sight, I would loudly call out to Clarence, the one-eyed carp, who was king of the blue diamond. I would keep on calling 'til he arrived at the water's edge. I would be stood or sat on the embankment. At times Clara came along with Clarence. They were always pleased to see me, and performed leaps out of the water, back flips, and all the things that fishes can do. Clara and Clarence would then get their reward for their wonderful aquabatics, by way of a square each of Cadbury's Dairy milk chocolate, or on occasion, a Walnut Whip or a Mint Cracknell apiece.

 

Then with time whipping on I'd say goodbye to my fishy friends, then make my way back to school with my maroon coloured school blazer pockets bulging with spice(sweets).

 

This time my route back was up Stanton Crescent where there was a gennel that led up to Fox Lane. Then I went back the route I'd come via Cowie Hill.

 

If you think this story makes me strange, then strange I am. Lol

😃