Glasses For Dogs.

[Padders]

On 28/06/2023 at 09:23, cuttsie said:

My old pal Tobi keeps bumping into trees, chairs ,Road signs and me .

This has got me thinking ,why can he not go to the local pound shop and get some ready readers, 

 

I have tried to fit him up with a pair of mine but he just acts daft rolling around and pawing away until they end up back to front and bent .

So any suggestions would be appreciated as he now needs a guide human when running in the woods WI all them trees about.

Morning Jud,

I'm afraid I can't help you with this problem...

I can usually fix things using green wire, I could probably figure summat out, but not being a dog lover it's pointless.

I'm just wondering what breed of dog you have, there's an old saying that dogs look like their owners, I find this to be true, so I can't imagine you going walkies with a dishcloth on your lead..

 

I often wonder why people choose to own a dog, is to stop a daughters endless nagging (in my case) is it for companionship, is it an excuse to take the occasional walk, or because you won it at a fair and it seemed cruel to flush it down the waste disposal unit.. Cruel and difficult, especially if it was a horse.

When I lost my wife eight years ago, people told me to get a furry friend to replace her? now I'm sorry, but I find that a bit alarming, because how can a pet possibly do that? it can't cook, or iron, or clean the air filter on my MG.

And if you want to use it for a spot of Jiggy Jiggy, you can be fairly sure the police will want a word....

 

The trouble is, of course, that most people love animals a lot more than they love people. And the animal they love most is the dog.

Dogs make you go soft in the head.

On the face of it, it's an excellent idea to keep a pooch, it will bark at burglars and sit by the fire in the evenings, looking all sweet and cuddly, and all it demands  in return for it's sweetness and it's Group 4 policy on security is a handful of biscuits and a bowlful off tinned meat from a company that did somehow work out how to push a horse through a waste disposal unit.

 

Unfortunately, it doesn't work out like this in reality, most of my relations own a dog, one has a West Highland terrier, she is very cute and has fully jointed ears that swivel about when she is excited, on the downside, she is very violent, in the past two months alone she has eaten the lady who delivers the papers, the postman and the man who came round to mend the computer.

 

Another relation has a Labradoodle, which is about the same size as an Elephant. This means that no matter how high the shelf on which they put they put leftover chops and joints of lamb on, he can get at them no problem at all, he also managers to look fantastically indignant when you tell him off.

This Labradoodle is elderly, blind, deaf, arthritic and bald, technically, he isn't a really a dog anymore..

Now they've got a young Labrador, who recently had her first period. this drove the Labradoodle stark staring mad..

He became a sex-crazed Elephant-Wolf who spent his entire time trying to put his ridiculous dog lipstick into the back of the stricken Lab, eventually they had to send him away to the kennels.

 

Many years ago my neighbour had an Alsation, and if they were out for a day they'd ask us to keep an eye on him, let him out in the garden, and give him his bowl of Chum.

Ruddy hell this dog was sex mad, he wanted to mount everything, the dishwasher, the keyhole in the front door, me, my wife's friends and the exhaust pipe of my car.

Once, when he was out in the garden, he tried to eat a metal gate to get out, and if a cat ventured into the garden he'd try to mate with that, he even tried it on with my Wellington boots and the Lawnmower.

It were like living in an inter-species free love commune, with added howling.

 

This is the reality of dog ownership, Fluids, Mess, Stolen food, Expense, Savaged paper boys, No post, Vets bills, Broken vacuum cleaners, Ruined washing machines, Chewed shoes, Unravelled bog rolls, Endless barking, and then terrible, aching sadness when they die.

I can understand, therefore, why they make such an ideal substitute for my wife.

There's no real difference...

 

[Guest]

But they give you loads and loads and loads and loads of love,  never nag,  don't expect you to fix the broken cupboard door, and will enjoy a pint of Stooenses as much as you do.

They'll greet you when you've only been to the toilet, as if you've been missing for 10 years and never tell you that you shouldn't be eating that unhealthy muck.

Everything you do is absolutely right ( except leaving them ) and they think you are god.

 

[hauxwell]

8 hours ago, Organgrinder said:

But they give you loads and loads and loads and loads of love,  never nag,  don't expect you to fix the broken cupboard door, and will enjoy a pint of Stooenses as much as you do.

They'll greet you when you've only been to the toilet, as if you've been missing for 10 years and never tell you that you shouldn't be eating that unhealthy muck.

Everything you do is absolutely right ( except leaving them ) and they think you are god.

 

That is how I would sum up man’s best friend. They give you loyalty, friendship and companionship.