Dealing With A Sudden Loss.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, spilldig said:

You may be wiser to asking yourself why.

And I second that statement, with no intention of making fun..

[The_DADDY]

20 hours ago, mart said:

@the daddy

Can I ask, is it your loss or someone else's loss.

Not me matey. I'm just trying to help out a friend 

[Irene Swaine]

22 hours ago, The_DADDY said:

How do you do it?

You know to sort,  one day everything seems fine then a few days later It happens. 

I'm not sure if the suddenness of it all makes the feeling of loss seem greater, I'm sure it contributes though.

How do you pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move on? 

Do you try to fill that new gap in your life or do you take time, think things through then try to move on slowly?

It is very difficult. The first few days feel numb. It feels as though you are in a bubble , disconnected to the world around you. Then the bubble breaks and inconsolable despair sinks in. You feel guilt, was there something I could have done? You feel worried about the person who passed over, was their passing peaceful? You feel empty and lonely. Then, day by day, you start to rebuild yourself. You do it for you and the person who passed away. You find ways of keeping busy. The funeral is a distraction, there's plenty of pressure to get it right. Then you get another thump of grief afterwards. It hurts. But you start finding moments of joy again. You never get over it, but you do move forward with your life and it takes time, but you do eventually get to look back on memories of that person with fondness, instead of being overwhelmed by despair. You learn to celebrate the person's life and you find excitment for the future of your own life.

 

 

[hauxwell]

3 minutes ago, Irene Swaine said:

It is very difficult. The first few days feel numb. It feels as though you are in a bubble , disconnected to the world around you. Then the bubble breaks and inconsolable despair sinks in. You feel guilt, was there something I could have done? You feel worried about the person who passed over, was their passing peaceful? You feel empty and lonely. Then, day by day, you start to rebuild yourself. You do it for you and the person who passed away. You find ways of keeping busy. The funeral is a distraction, there's plenty of pressure to get it right. Then you get another thump of grief afterwards. It hurts. But you start finding moments of joy again. You never get over it, but you do move forward with your life and it takes time, but you do eventually get to look back on memories of that person with fondness, instead of being overwhelmed by despair. You learn to celebrate the person's life and you find excitment for the future of your own life.

 

 

Enjoyed reading your post. 

[The_DADDY]

27 minutes ago, Irene Swaine said:

It is very difficult. The first few days feel numb. It feels as though you are in a bubble , disconnected to the world around you. Then the bubble breaks and inconsolable despair sinks in. You feel guilt, was there something I could have done? You feel worried about the person who passed over, was their passing peaceful? You feel empty and lonely. Then, day by day, you start to rebuild yourself. You do it for you and the person who passed away. You find ways of keeping busy. The funeral is a distraction, there's plenty of pressure to get it right. Then you get another thump of grief afterwards. It hurts. But you start finding moments of joy again. You never get over it, but you do move forward with your life and it takes time, but you do eventually get to look back on memories of that person with fondness, instead of being overwhelmed by despair. You learn to celebrate the person's life and you find excitment for the future of your own life.

 

 

That's a nice post that Irene. Cheers 👍 

[Padders]

1 hour ago, Irene Swaine said:

It is very difficult. The first few days feel numb. It feels as though you are in a bubble , disconnected to the world around you. Then the bubble breaks and inconsolable despair sinks in. You feel guilt, was there something I could have done? You feel worried about the person who passed over, was their passing peaceful? You feel empty and lonely. Then, day by day, you start to rebuild yourself. You do it for you and the person who passed away. You find ways of keeping busy. The funeral is a distraction, there's plenty of pressure to get it right. Then you get another thump of grief afterwards. It hurts. But you start finding moments of joy again. You never get over it, but you do move forward with your life and it takes time, but you do eventually get to look back on memories of that person with fondness, instead of being overwhelmed by despair. You learn to celebrate the person's life and you find excitment for the future of your own life.

 

 

The best post you've ever made Irene.

Sums my experience to a tee.

[The_DADDY]

10 hours ago, spilldig said:

You may be wiser to asking yourself why.

Easy. Some people on here are hateful individuals who delight in derailing threads. 👍

[zakes]

Being stuck at home with terminal cancer and DVT in my legs, I have loads of time to reminisce. I always come to September 1992 when I lost my wife. I was 38 years old at the time. We had been together for almost 14 years.

 

I don't in any way feel ashamed to be shedding tears. I'm forever looking through the photographs I brought back with me from Germany. Crying makes me feel better for the next few hours afterwards.

 

I still have my wedding ring with the date of engagement etched inside, 1979. The ring also has the date of marriage also etched within, 1985.

 

Unfortunately, time does not heal the pain for me.

[cressida]

3 minutes ago, zakes said:

Being stuck at home with terminal cancer and DVT in my legs, I have loads of time to reminisce. I always come to September 1992 when I lost my wife. I was 38 years old at the time. We had been together for almost 14 years.

 

I don't in any way feel ashamed to be shedding tears. I'm forever looking through the photographs I brought back with me from Germany. Crying makes me feel better for the next few hours afterwards.

 

I still have my wedding ring with the date of engagement etched inside, 1979. The ring also has the date of marriage also etched within, 1985.

 

Unfortunately, time does not heal the pain for me.

I'm really touched by your post,  such love for your wife and not many experience enduring love.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, zakes said:

Being stuck at home with terminal cancer and DVT in my legs, I have loads of time to reminisce. I always come to September 1992 when I lost my wife. I was 38 years old at the time. We had been together for almost 14 years.

 

I don't in any way feel ashamed to be shedding tears. I'm forever looking through the photographs I brought back with me from Germany. Crying makes me feel better for the next few hours afterwards.

 

I still have my wedding ring with the date of engagement etched inside, 1979. The ring also has the date of marriage also etched within, 1985.

 

Unfortunately, time does not heal the pain for me.

Sorry to hear you're having such a bleak time zakes.    Life can be very cruel sometimes as I've found myself..

You do sound to have had the good fortune to really love and be loved and have a lot of happy years.  Not everyone manages to achieve that.

A lot of us old uns  tend to live in the past a lot, remembering when times were good.   All the very best mate.