Know Alls/

[cressida]

When two people go head to head it's best not to take sides and it becomes even worse when one admires both posters.😔

[Palomar]

11 minutes ago, cressida said:

When two people go head to head it's best not to take sides and it becomes even worse when one admires both posters.😔

It saddens me that you sided with Mr T on this, that you tacitly support him saying that to a woman rather than calling him out makes me think that you have fallen in with the wrong crowd. 

[cressida]

2 minutes ago, Palomar said:

It saddens me that you sided with Mr T on this, that you tacitly support him saying that to a woman rather than calling him out makes me think that you have fallen in with the wrong crowd. 

I saw this 'spat' rather late.   He called her dearie - I've heard love,  lovey, lass,  I'm not from Yorkshire but I suppose it depends in what vein it's said - if it's said to be

patronising and repetitive it would get my back up but not enough to make it the focus of an argument,  not everyone takes umbrage at the same things,  if you disagree with someone vehemently - and I don't know the full argument - then the recipient may hit back.

They could let it go or avoid each other - least said soonest mended.   We all have our limits.

[Palomar]

4 minutes ago, cressida said:

I saw this 'spat' rather late.   He called her dearie - I've heard love,  lovey, lass,  I'm not from Yorkshire but I suppose it depends in what vein it's said -

This is not about 'dearie', it's about the phrase 'I don't care if you are a frustrated old fat, ugly, hairy feminist, who's never met a decent man in her life for good reason!'

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, cressida said:

I saw this 'spat' rather late.   He called her dearie - I've heard love,  lovey, lass,  I'm not from Yorkshire but I suppose it depends in what vein it's said - if it's said to be

patronising and repetitive it would get my back up but not enough to make it the focus of an argument,  not everyone takes umbrage at the same things,  if you disagree with someone vehemently - and I don't know the full argument - then the recipient may hit back.

They could let it go or avoid each other - least said soonest mended.   We all have our limits.

Not that this matters unduly, but for the sake of clarity:  trastrick started to refer to me and another woman as 'dearie' every time one of us successfully challenged his arguments on various subjects.  After many repeated instances, several people, not all of them women, asked him to stop doing so.  He persisted, so consequently I called him, accurately and justifiably, a patronising arsehole.  If you see him refer to my use of 'profanity' and 'profane insults' that's what he means.

 

Of course his description of me, quoted by Palomar above, is the inevitable culmination of such an attitude towards women (which also, by the way, includes defending a rapist by shamefully blaming and insulting the victim), so more illustrative than surprising really.

[cressida]

48 minutes ago, Hecate said:

Not that this matters unduly, but for the sake of clarity:  trastrick started to refer to me and another woman as 'dearie' every time one of us successfully challenged his arguments on various subjects.  After many repeated instances, several people, not all of them women, asked him to stop doing so.  He persisted, so consequently I called him, accurately and justifiably, a patronising arsehole.  If you see him refer to my use of 'profanity' and 'profane insults' that's what he means.

 

Of course his description of me, quoted by Palomar above, is the inevitable culmination of such an attitude towards women (which also, by the way, includes defending a rapist by shamefully blaming and insulting the victim), so more illustrative than surprising really.

I was hoping my post was going to go somewhere towards some understanding and that we could move on,  not sure what constitutes an a- hole,  tell me as you called another guy that and I took it to mean he cheated on his wife - still,  never mind that,  I guess that he was under pressure and hit out I don't want to make excuses for him as I know it won't help,  I'll ask him not to use that word.  Women use it,  my mother used to say my dear to me,  and I had a client who called me dear in that way,  his boss sent him round to my office to apologise,  he was shocked.

Edited December 18, 2023 by cressida
oh, and you're lovely.

[Al Bundy]

2 hours ago, Anna B said:

I'm sure you, and 90% of the other posters on SF are all nice decent people in the real world. They wouldn't dream of saying half the things they say on a forum to others in real life, not because they 'hide' behind anonymity on the forum, but because the rules of communication, body language, respect, empathy etc cometo the fore in real life.

 

But on the Forum feelings run high and people get upset when they feel they aren't being listened to or are being disrespected, and arguments start. I think it's important to remember it's the message you are disagreeing with, it's ok to attack that, but not the messenger.

And IT'S NEVER  OK TO GET PERSONAL.

There's no need to fling insults about like confetti, it says more about you than it does about the recipient. And it ruins a good forum.

 

I've absolutely no doubt about that.

 

[Tipstaff]

We've got one or two at work.  But one in particular (The Oracle) is a right 'know-all' and a sh*t stirrer with it too!  Got a foot in every camp (including the boss's) so, The Oracle gets fed a few dud stories and bits of duff information now and again, only to be told they are for 'your ears only'.   Very comical, because everyone knows The Oracle will be bursting to tell someone else. 😁

[trastrick]

10 hours ago, Palomar said:

It saddens me that you sided with Mr T on this, that you tacitly support him saying that to a woman rather than calling him out makes me think that you have fallen in with the wrong crowd. 

Lol

 

This "dearie" bit has been running for months now!

 

Got all the panty waists  and the clapping seals. in knot.

 

Meanwhile folks are slinging all manner of accusations at folks who they  disagree with. I've been called every name under the sun here. I don't mind. It's just a bun throwing food fight here anyway. Thoughtful opinions are rare.

 

But when their favorite spokesman accuses our dear Cressida, of "supporting rapists and child murderers", and the clapping seals stay silent, I'm afraid my "toxic" masculinity starts to rise a little.

 

It's how I was brought up!

[trastrick]

10 hours ago, Palomar said:

This is not about 'dearie', it's about the phrase 'I don't care if you are a frustrated old fat, ugly, hairy feminist, who's never met a decent man in her life for good reason!'

It was in response to her babycham drinking Susan tranny at the bar nonsense she managed to squeeze in when referring to me!

 

Open the other eye!😀