New Year Resolutions?

[El Cid]

What can you/we do better next year, that is my first question.

Second question, what decision made in 2023 would you reverse, in your life or nationally?

Decision is a word that I always have trouble spelling, I had to Google 

[PRESLEY]

To be a Loyal Patron to Padders Bar. 

[despritdan]

I'm going to throw away all my socks with holes in and wish I hadn't tried to clean the upstairs windows without someone holding the ladder.

[cressida]

To be more active and more knowledgeable.

 

Impeachments.

 

 

[zach]

Don't make them, then you won't break them.

 

 

Easy!

 

[Padders]

Every Year I make the same resolution,

A diet and give up drinking.

Most nights, like many people my age, I'll have a few bottles of beer, and this means that most mornings I have a bit of clutch slip until I've had some coffee, a couple of Nurofen's and some quiet time with the newspaper.

I'm comfortable with that, but I'm not comfortable with the effects the booze has on my stomach. Visually, it's a bit silly...

It looks like I have the actual moon in my shirt... It's so vast that when I bend over to tie up my shoelaces, it squashes into my lungs so firmly that I can hardly breath.

And when I run, it turns into a giant pendulum, sloshing from side to side so vigorously that sometimes I get the impression it may actually break free from it's moorings, so therefore I've decided to give up booze..

 

As I say I do this every year, 

The first night I feel no need for beer, I'm not an alcoholic in the true sense of the word, but my hands feel a bit fidgety, like they've been made redundant. 

They need something to do, they want to hold a glass, but what do I put in it?

Milk?  Lovely. My favourite drink, but more fattening than beer! 

Water? No. the stupidest idea in the World, It's just liquefied air..something fizzy? too carcinogenic.

Tomato juice, I discounted that on the basis that it's primary function in life is to cure what I no longer have..

 

So I go to the supermarket, where I discover that all the non-alcoholic beverages are aimed either at people who want to stay awake all night, or who are 4 years old. It's row after row of idiotic lime-greened labeling and contents that appear to have come from the props department of Doctor Who.

I was in despair until, at the last moment, I discovered a bottle of Robinsons lemon barley water. The taste of my childhood, Chris Wilder in a bottle.

I took it home and it was like drinking the sound of a wood pigeon and a distant tractor.. I was happy!

 

On the second night I went out with my daughters, and it transpires that no bar or restaurant stocks Robinson barley water, so I had to think of something else.

I was still thinking several hours later, by which time my daughters were giggling and very unsteady on their feet.

Suddenly, I realized that the biggest problem of not drinking in company that does, is that when everyone else is drunk, they look stupid, they sound stupid, they laugh at things that aren't funny, such as a fart, and you start to hate them on a cellular level.

You begin to wonder what they would look like without heads, and because you are sober, the imagery is frighteningly clear..

 

Turning up in polite society and asking for a soft drink is like turning up sobbing, it puts a damper on proceedings.

A meeting of friends is supposed to be light and filled with laughter.

The last thing a group of happy people wants is one person sitting in the middle talking about the trauma in Gaza.

 

Every year I do this no drinking lark, and there's no doubt that the moon in my shirt starts to shrink, but on the downside you lose all your friends.

Can you think of a single memorable evening you've ever had when you weren't absolutely blasted, well I cant.

Such is the pressure to drink, join the herd, to find a fart funny, that it's a thousand times easier to just stay in..

So that's what I do, drinking barley water, watching television and enriching my life not one bit.

 

And another thing I have learnt, it is possible to suffer from hangover envy. In the morning, as you're doing a bit of light skipping, you see your friends clinging on to trees and street furniture, looking like a pile of laundry, with faces the colour of ostrich eggs.

This should be uplifting, it should make you feel good as you "Boing" along the street with a zip in your step and sparkling eyes, but, in fact,it makes you crestfallen, because at 4 am . when your asleep, which is the same as being dead, they are very much alive, they are making memories in police cells and of inappropriate girls, and I'm in bed snoring like a dullard. Waking up feeling fresh is like dying with a clear conscience and a healthy bank balance.. It means your wasting your life....

 

This is what awaits me, so be careful when you make them New Year resolutions...

On the plus side, I've got another 10 sessions to go before it starts............

 

'

[bassett one]

well i am keeping my burgers onions and ketchup,my fish and chips and scraps,plus my favourite beer john smiths or any beer or lager,my bacon butty or my beef/lamb or chicken,so nowts changing,plus blackpool for the lights and skeggy reggae in june ,plus due to my friends at the lib/dem camp i still will help with the lowedges festival,but thanks for saving it and its on aug 11th , forgot merry christmas and happy  new year padders and everone else .

so that leaves a wish thats to stay alive another year ,plus hopefully meet padders again on august 11th at the festival ,best wishes to all and the forum for all the great work , thanks

4 hours ago, Padders said:

Every Year I make the same resolution,

A diet and give up drinking.

Most nights, like many people my age, I'll have a few bottles of beer, and this means that most mornings I have a bit of clutch slip until I've had some coffee, a couple of Nurofen's and some quiet time with the newspaper.

I'm comfortable with that, but I'm not comfortable with the effects the booze has on my stomach. Visually, it's a bit silly...

It looks like I have the actual moon in my shirt... It's so vast that when I bend over to tie up my shoelaces, it squashes into my lungs so firmly that I can hardly breath.

And when I run, it turns into a giant pendulum, sloshing from side to side so vigorously that sometimes I get the impression it may actually break free from it's moorings, so therefore I've decided to give up booze..

 

As I say I do this every year, 

The first night I feel no need for beer, I'm not an alcoholic in the true sense of the word, but my hands feel a bit fidgety, like they've been made redundant. 

They need something to do, they want to hold a glass, but what do I put in it?

Milk?  Lovely. My favourite drink, but more fattening than beer! 

Water? No. the stupidest idea in the World, It's just liquefied air..something fizzy? too carcinogenic.

Tomato juice, I discounted that on the basis that it's primary function in life is to cure what I no longer have..

 

So I go to the supermarket, where I discover that all the non-alcoholic beverages are aimed either at people who want to stay awake all night, or who are 4 years old. It's row after row of idiotic lime-greened labeling and contents that appear to have come from the props department of Doctor Who.

I was in despair until, at the last moment, I discovered a bottle of Robinsons lemon barley water. The taste of my childhood, Chris Wilder in a bottle.

I took it home and it was like drinking the sound of a wood pigeon and a distant tractor.. I was happy!

 

On the second night I went out with my daughters, and it transpires that no bar or restaurant stocks Robinson barley water, so I had to think of something else.

I was still thinking several hours later, by which time my daughters were giggling and very unsteady on their feet.

Suddenly, I realized that the biggest problem of not drinking in company that does, is that when everyone else is drunk, they look stupid, they sound stupid, they laugh at things that aren't funny, such as a fart, and you start to hate them on a cellular level.

You begin to wonder what they would look like without heads, and because you are sober, the imagery is frighteningly clear..

 

Turning up in polite society and asking for a soft drink is like turning up sobbing, it puts a damper on proceedings.

A meeting of friends is supposed to be light and filled with laughter.

The last thing a group of happy people wants is one person sitting in the middle talking about the trauma in Gaza.

 

Every year I do this no drinking lark, and there's no doubt that the moon in my shirt starts to shrink, but on the downside you lose all your friends.

Can you think of a single memorable evening you've ever had when you weren't absolutely blasted, well I cant.

Such is the pressure to drink, join the herd, to find a fart funny, that it's a thousand times easier to just stay in..

So that's what I do, drinking barley water, watching television and enriching my life not one bit.

 

And another thing I have learnt, it is possible to suffer from hangover envy. In the morning, as you're doing a bit of light skipping, you see your friends clinging on to trees and street furniture, looking like a pile of laundry, with faces the colour of ostrich eggs.

This should be uplifting, it should make you feel good as you "Boing" along the street with a zip in your step and sparkling eyes, but, in fact,it makes you crestfallen, because at 4 am . when your asleep, which is the same as being dead, they are very much alive, they are making memories in police cells and of inappropriate girls, and I'm in bed snoring like a dullard. Waking up feeling fresh is like dying with a clear conscience and a healthy bank balance.. It means your wasting your life....

 

This is what awaits me, so be careful when you make them New Year resolutions...

On the plus side, I've got another 10 sessions to go before it starts............

 

'

 

[The_DADDY]

My new years resolution?

Ask more people what their thoughts are. 

[El Cid]

8 hours ago, zach said:

Don't make them, then you won't break them.

 

One year I made a resolution to go running every day, I didnt intend to keep the resolution for 12 months, I lasted about a month.

I was pleased with that.

[Rockers rule]

1 hour ago, El Cid said:

One year I made a resolution to go running every day, I didnt intend to keep the resolution for 12 months, I lasted about a month.

I was pleased with that.

You'd have been a lot more pleasder if you'd have kept it up, sat with a glass of your favourite falling down water in your hand on some far-away beach, thinking 'I'm glad I did that'  🥂   🏝️🏝️ 🍺 

 

Keep safe out there 🎅

Edited December 21, 2023 by Rockers rule