Imposter Syndrome

[Weazel2006]

Having a worse day than usual. I don't feel I deserve to be here.

 

Took little one to speedway she enjoyed it, I felt like a piece of scum. I'm in a balancing act going back years. I spend all day with a feeling like my blood is boiling.

 

I'm trying so hard and volunteering is as far as I ever get.

 

I'm scared I'm going to loose this battle with depression, I see no positive to my issues at all.

 

Been lied to or neglected my whole life, before I even get to navigating the real world.  

 

My mh nurse and support worker said I'd make a great counciller but that seems very far from being realistic.

 

I said I'd bring people on the journey good and bad.

 

If anyone is interested I'll make mu blog available

[Weazel2006]

https://changing-our-minds.blogspot.com/?m=1

[Weazel2006]

Today started like most days but with more intensity. I'm having a huge panic attack as I write this.

 

I feel like I'm begging for people's time, family, friends and truly dislike being on my own.

 

I'd have spent my time in the company of my daughter, before my breakdown, now I have nothing but anxiety, regrets and guilt.

 

I'm trying hard to find work even though my mh nurse, council worker and dad all say I'm looking for a silver bullet that doesn't exist. My wife used to say its OK working isn't for you. It's warped my mind and I don't know the right answer anymore.

 

To anyone suffering like me, please seek help, seek strength and seek a way out. Its awful to live like this, a prisoner of your own mind. I lost a large family I loved so much because I didn't man up.

 

If anyone has any job I could do please help me. I will be a hard worker and do any training required.

[Weazel2006]

I just can't catch a break at all. Watching my daughter do well despite having a worry wart like me in her life.

 

I just feel like giving up and letting nature deal with me

[Litotes]

7 hours ago, Weazel2006 said:

I just can't catch a break at all. Watching my daughter do well despite having a worry wart like me in her life.

 

I just feel like giving up and letting nature deal with me

I think your daughter is doing well because you are in her life.

 

Don't underestimate the positive impact that you can have just by being there.

Life is not all about roses, sometimes there are thorns!

But what matters is having someone to share the roses with, but also having someone who will kiss the  cuts when the thorns have hurt.

 

The other thing... and this is often overlooked, your daughter will thrive on having someone to care for because it give them a reason to be...

 

Many people think about paying back -  think about paying forwards... you are giving to the next generation and should be applauded!!

[Weazel2006]

I'm trying to be upbeat I really am but with endless rejections, a broken marriage, constant attacks because I do have a cry, I lost someone special to me and wanted to give my daughter a family unit. It all comes down to work and I'm truly desperate but told not to rush. I'm completely defeated inside and only alive for my little one.

 

I'm on bended knee begging anyone to take me on so I can stop feeling so worthless.

[Weazel2006]

Woke as I usually to, breathing heavy, jolting from sleep shouting mom please help me.

 

I touched it out, got on the bus to go get a mop after crying about the loss of my marriage etc.

 

I've gone completely out of my comfort zone and started doing till training at sue ryder.

 

I now have myself an nhs email address, training coming soon.

 

It's very hard to come to terms with your own self defecating truth. I don't know how life is going to treat me, but if I save one person from taking their life then mine will hold value.

 

I will never get my wife back and sooner of later the divorce will happen that I never wanted to come.

 

If anyone is facing similar problems please message me or air your worries here.

 

My love to you all 

Edited June 7 by Weazel2006

[Padders]

On 07/06/2024 at 14:05, Weazel2006 said:

Woke as I usually to, breathing heavy, jolting from sleep shouting mom please help me.

 

I touched it out, got on the bus to go get a mop after crying about the loss of my marriage etc.

 

I've gone completely out of my comfort zone and started doing till training at sue ryder.

 

I now have myself an nhs email address, training coming soon.

 

It's very hard to come to terms with your own self defecating truth. I don't know how life is going to treat me, but if I save one person from taking their life then mine will hold value.

 

I will never get my wife back and sooner of later the divorce will happen that I never wanted to come.

 

If anyone is facing similar problems please message me or air your worries here.

 

My love to you all 

Hi Weazel,

How are you doing?

Hope your in a much better place now.

Best wishes pal.

[Weazel2006]

I'm not quite sure. My daughter isn't talking to me any more and I'm desperate for something to go right now.

 

I ended up having a meltdown and stabbed myself with a 7 inch knife.

 

Spent 3 weeks in hospital but also made some references. I'm trying to get volunteering there and hopefully become a support worker.

 

I'm at my wits end now, for a socially anxious person I'm pulling out all the stops, I have nothing left to lose.

 

 

[cressida]

Make a list of the good things in your life and compare them to what the people in war-torn countries have.