Cosmetic surgery or a wig?

[Padders]

Have you ever had cosmetic surgery or wear a wig?

I haven't, and I don't see the point..

I've been watching the Euro's this last couple of weeks and I've seen Wayne Rooney making comments on the match's.

This got me thinking!

Now I don't want to be unduly rude about Wayne Rooney, but I find him an irritating little brat, and he's had a hair transplant, and I'm sorry, but what on earth is the point of that..

He was a very ugly little troll with sticky out ears and a bald head, and now he's a very ugly little troll with sticky out ears, not much of an improvement in my opinion.

 

I wonder about this hair transplant business, remember Silvio Berlusconi, did he think that if he emptied the sweep up bag from his local hairdressers on to his bonce, he could burst back on to the World stage looking like George Clooney, he didn't, he just looked like an oily, perma-tanned buffoon with a hair transplant, dunt mek any sense to me!

 

I have a hair loss problem, It's all fallen out on the top, and I know that for several thousand pounds I could have it fixed, but what's the point?

I'd still look like a telegraph pole that had eaten a space hopper, fixing my hair hole would be like trying to improve the overall appearance of the Elephant man by cutting his fingernails.

 

I suppose cosmetic surgery can help to boost self confidence, and it can certainly help if you've been trapped in the cockpit of a burning Hurricane..  And I suppose in the world of celebrities where long lenses can pick out a spot of cellulite from half a mile away, it can be handy too.

I certainly wouldn't want my lips filled with collagen, but I do agree that the full Amanda Holden does make a girl prettier, and I'm sure Botox is useful if you need to look impassive during a game of poker..

 

I always look down at the vast stomach that hangs over my trousers, so every year I go on a diet, January and February I get rid, skipping, not drinking anything more exciting than Ribena, and eating like a mouse for a couple of months, but sometimes I think wouldn't it be easier to pop into a hospital and have all the fat hoovered out?

 

Apparently, we spend more in Britain on cosmetic surgery than we do on tea, and more men will visit the vanity cabinet than will join the army.

If you have a wart the size of a melon on your face, or a prolapsed bottom, or teeth that grow out of your forehead, then by all means have the problem sorted, these are sophisticated times so use whatever science has created if it makes you happy...

 

However, when it comes to hair, it's best to let nature take it's course.

I'm not talking about women now, nobody wants to see what looks like half a pound of Old Holborn poking out of your bikini bottoms, or what appears to be two guinea pigs peeping out from your armpits, No, I'm talking about men, and specifically the head..

Some chaps think when they go bald that it would be a good idea to grow a beard, Why? it just looks like your face is on upside down.

Others go down the Wayne Rooney route and have a transplant, but in my limited experience this doesn't work either, because you end up with hair that grows like conifers on a Scottish hillside, in rows.

Worst of all, though, are chaps who believe they can hold off the ageing process with dye.

This is a mind-blowing waste of time, you can determine this by examining Paul McCartney.

It's much the same with Mick Jagger, does he really think as he flounces down the street with that luxuriant auburn barnet quivering slightly in the breeze that passers-by will mistake him for a seventeen year old? crowning that wind battered old face with that hair is like crowning York Minster with a heap of solar panels.

 

I have a general rule in life, which so far has stood me in reasonably good stead.

Never do business with a man who cares about his hair, this is even more important than avoiding a man who who goes to the gym wearing a Rolex watch.

Anyone who spends more than £25 on a haircut signifies that he is vain and not to be trusted.

Look at this way,

When England, in a lacklustre performance, beat Switzerland on penalties yesterday, there was one notable absentee from the stands, Wayne Rooney. 

He didn't even bother to turn up and cheer his mates on, or his country, he was across town having another hair transplant...................

 

 

 

[Al Bundy]

Luckily for blokes going bald we are living in times and have been for a few years now that shaving your head is considered a cool look. Admittedly it suits some more than others, but regardless it's a perfectly normal look these days.

[hackey lad]

Fortunately, Mother Nature has been kind to me . With my flowing golden locks and tall muscular body , there is nothing that could enhance my beauty .😍

[francypants]

I can't stand balding men with ponytails.    

[hackey lad]

3 minutes ago, francypants said:

I can't stand balding men with ponytails.    

I’m the same with the women.

[Baron99]

59 minutes ago, Al Bundy said:

Luckily for blokes going bald we are living in times and have been for a few years now that shaving your head is considered a cool look. Admittedly it suits some more than others, but regardless it's a perfectly normal look these days.

I'm lucky, I've a good head of hair, (thanks dad & the rest of the ancestors) but after the first Covid lockdown it did look ridiculous with quite long hair, despite the odd trim from the wife. 

 

First chance I got I was in the barbers & asked "The usual?".   For some reason I found myself saying "No.  Give me a number 1.  That first cut, right down the middle of my head, forehead to the nape of my neck & I nearly freaked out, wondering what I'd done, how my wife would react? 

 

But I remember leaving the barbers & walking out into a lovely sunny morning with a gentle breeze blowing round my head & it felt great. 

 

I've kept it the same way since with a haircut every 3 months now.  A lot less messing about. 

 

 

[redruby]

1 hour ago, Al Bundy said:

Luckily for blokes going bald we are living in times and have been for a few years now that shaving your head is considered a cool look. Admittedly it suits some more than others, but regardless it's a perfectly normal look these days.

Shaven heads are starting to go out of fashion.  The word on the street is that the ‘sweep over’ style (known also as a ‘comb over’) is making a come back.  
Failing that you, the old ‘syrup of figs’ is a good alternative.  

[YorkieontheTyne]

I had a facelift some time back. When they saw what was underneath they dropped it back down again.

[Al Bundy]

34 minutes ago, Baron99 said:

I'm lucky, I've a good head of hair, (thanks dad & the rest of the ancestors) but after the first Covid lockdown it did look ridiculous with quite long hair, despite the odd trim from the wife. 

 

First chance I got I was in the barbers & asked "The usual?".   For some reason I found myself saying "No.  Give me a number 1.  That first cut, right down the middle of my head, forehead to the nape of my neck & I nearly freaked out, wondering what I'd done, how my wife would react? 

 

But I remember leaving the barbers & walking out into a lovely sunny morning with a gentle breeze blowing round my head & it felt great. 

 

I've kept it the same way since with a haircut every 3 months now.  A lot less messing about. 

 

 

Ive often thought about shaving my head but I have a very round heeed so I don't think it would suit me!!

 

It must be lovely on a hot day.

[PRESLEY]

1 hour ago, Al Bundy said:

Luckily for blokes going bald we are living in times and have been for a few years now that shaving your head is considered a cool look. Admittedly it suits some more than others, but regardless it's a perfectly normal look these days.

Your post reminds of a great record,   Dreaming sung by Johnny Burnette.