Worst present you have ever had

[Tipstaff]

An ill-fitting willy warmer. 🤣

[mad-dad]

My 11th birthday, 1962. Granny gave me a balaclava she'd knitted. It was a  grey and blue 'fleck' pattern and knitted out of fibreglass fibres, sacking and nettle leaves I think. The hole for my face was roughly 3 inches top to bottom .... my face was 5 inches eyebrows to  chin. The neck hole was about the same size as the cuffs on my duffel coat sleeves.

 

My mum shoehorned my head into it somehow (without lube), stood back, and without a hint of a smirk said, "You look lovely!"

 

Took 15 minutes (without lube) to get it off. "Don't you forget to thank Grandma when you see here next".

 

Thank you Granny for the lacerated ears, the short experience of being throttled, the humiliation. Dad, between giggles, reckoned he'd not seen a face that contorted, squished and discoloured since he watched me being born

 

 

[glitterballs]

1977, 13 years old and into punk, mum bought me a second hand radio cassette recorder for xmas, my sisters bought me a blank tape for recording the John Peel show,

aunty buys me the best of Jim Reeves!! out came the sellotape and I had another tape to record on 🤣

[echo beach]

15 hours ago, Slighty batty said:

My ex husband once gave me a milk pan for my birthday. Not quite the gift to set a girls pulse racing. And once he went on a business trip to Turkey, and when he came home he went on and on about how stylishly and elegantly the Turkish women dressed. Then he said he’d seen an amazing red silk blouse in a shop there. I asked “I don’t suppose they had it in my size?” and he said oh yes, they did. So I said “Was it very expensive?” and he said no, not at all expensive. Then he said “By the way, I’ve brought you a present…” and I was thinking yaaay! he got me the silk blouse. But no, it was half a kilo of pistachio nuts. And I said “I think you know I don’t really like pistachios all that much” and he replied “Yes, I do know that but I thought you could share them with my boss.” 

I think he must have been pistachiod when he was talking to you!😆

 

echo.

[Draggletail]

13 hours ago, Tipstaff said:

An ill-fitting willy warmer. 🤣

Was it too big or too small? 😂

[Tipstaff]

1 hour ago, Draggletail said:

Was it too big or too small? 😂

No bragging rights here, it was definitely too BIG 🤣

[Draggletail]

4 minutes ago, Tipstaff said:

No bragging rights here, it was definitely too BIG 🤣

To be fair, they were ever so slightly on the large size. 😄

[Hopman]

I was given a Premium Bond application form for one birthday.

[Padders]

37 minutes ago, Hopman said:

I was given a Premium Bond application form for one birthday.

I was given one in 1958 for my birthday.

Still got it and it's never won owt!

[echo beach]

12 minutes ago, Padders said:

I was given one in 1958 for my birthday.

Still got it and it's never won owt!

You should have filled it in and sent it off Padders.😃

You’ve got to be in it to win it.

 

echo.