Extortion of the elderly

[lavery549@yahoo]

2 hours ago, Tony said:

 

 

So the B&B proprietor gave you four meals a day, washed your clothes, did your hair,  played bingo, had a sing-song down the community centre with you and wiped your arse for £64 a night?

 

What a bargain! 

 

 

 

Indeed, we can't have Mums spending the kids inheritance! 

I beg your damn pardon , it's nothing to do with inheritance , We had a very bad experience when our Dad had to go into one for mum to have Respite . He had Dementia , like Mum has now . It was the most horrendous experience ever . It has now been closed .  So , I have been caring for mum since retiring from the NHS . We now have Carers coming in regularly ,including overnight , so it takes some pressure of me & my Brother . So please don't assume anything 

[Anna B]

45 minutes ago, crisispoint said:

I am told if outside care is needed, then the care home decision can be taken out of the families hands and a care home then becomes compulsory, there are also differences in care home quality, but as I said before I've no first hand experience. I feel really lucky in that, so far.

Yes, this is true. 

 

37 minutes ago, cressida said:

What if they can't pay?

Not a lot of people realise this,  but the fee usually has to be backed up by sponsors, ie: family or friends willing to help pay. In other words the sponsors  are expected to fill the financial gap. 

Refuse to sponsor them, and you will have to look elsewhere as they won't be accepted. 

 

This is why extortionate care home costs should concern everybody.

And don't forget the stated cost sometimes doesn't include food and board, or toiletries such as incontinence pads which can be added on top.

 

In spite of government spiel, very few will get free places.

As with the current heating subsidy debacle very few will qualify, most will be over the savings limit or if the house and assets are included (which they most certainly will be) and even without them,  they have to be stoney broke with no sponsors to get a free place, and this can be any standard of home anywhere, even at the other end of the country. (It's used as a tactic to guilt trip families into paying.) Homes can pick and choose who they accept don't forget.

People with serious dementia are particularly difficult to find places for as they are a lot more trouble. If they 'misbehave' they can also be asked to leave, and the whole rigmarole starts again.  

[MotherB]

27 minutes ago, Anna B said:

Yes, this is true. 

 

Not a lot of people realise this,  but the fee usually has to be backed up by sponsors, ie: family or friends willing to help pay. In other words the sponsors  are expected to fill the financial gap. 

Refuse to sponsor them, and you will have to look elsewhere as they won't be accepted. 

 

This is why extortionate care home costs should concern everybody.

And don't forget the stated cost sometimes doesn't include food and board, or toiletries such as incontinence pads which can be added on top.

 

In spite of government spiel, very few will get free places.

As with the current heating subsidy debacle very few will qualify, most will be over the savings limit or if the house and assets are included (which they most certainly will be) and even without them,  they have to be stoney broke with no sponsors to get a free place, and this can be any standard of home anywhere, even at the other end of the country. (It's used as a tactic to guilt trip families into paying.) Homes can pick and choose who they accept don't forget.

People with serious dementia are particularly difficult to find places for as they are a lot more trouble. If they 'misbehave' they can also be asked to leave, and the whole rigmarole starts again.  

Anna, I'm concerned you may be causing anxiety for families who at the moment may be exploring care for a much loved relative.

My experience is positive. As a family we cared for our Dad at home for as long as we physically could. He had dementia and became doubly incontinent and it came to the stage where my sister and I could no longer safely meet his needs, sadly.  We made the huge decision to try a Care Home, the best thing we could have done in the situation. We visited daily, spent quality time with him, reading to him, doing puzzles, games and enjoying music together without the 'care' exhausting all our time and energy. Dad was settled, in fact he thrived and we were happy knowing he was safe, well fed, had constant company and someone checking on him. The activities coordinator was wonderful, engaging him in activities suitable to his needs. The rest of the time he snoozed in his chair with people around him, bringing him drinks and ensuring he was comfortable. It makes me angry when people with no experience of caring for an elderly, much loved relative assume you are giving up on them by resorting to a care home, quite the opposite for us.

However, whilst most of the carers are very committed people, unfortunately, not all are but thankfully they don't last long in the job. We met some incredible kindness from Dad's carers, and my goodness, they earn their money.

Please don't put a negative spin on all care, yes, it's expensive but for us, Dad was worth every penny.

There are many, many costs you're not considering in your assessment of the fees charged.

[Anna B]

1 hour ago, MotherB said:

Anna, I'm concerned you may be causing anxiety for families who at the moment may be exploring care for a much loved relative.

My experience is positive. As a family we cared for our Dad at home for as long as we physically could. He had dementia and became doubly incontinent and it came to the stage where my sister and I could no longer safely meet his needs, sadly.  We made the huge decision to try a Care Home, the best thing we could have done in the situation. We visited daily, spent quality time with him, reading to him, doing puzzles, games and enjoying music together without the 'care' exhausting all our time and energy. Dad was settled, in fact he thrived and we were happy knowing he was safe, well fed, had constant company and someone checking on him. The activities coordinator was wonderful, engaging him in activities suitable to his needs. The rest of the time he snoozed in his chair with people around him, bringing him drinks and ensuring he was comfortable. It makes me angry when people with no experience of caring for an elderly, much loved relative assume you are giving up on them by resorting to a care home, quite the opposite for us.

However, whilst most of the carers are very committed people, unfortunately, not all are but thankfully they don't last long in the job. We met some incredible kindness from Dad's carers, and my goodness, they earn their money.

Please don't put a negative spin on all care, yes, it's expensive but for us, Dad was worth every penny.

There are many, many costs you're not considering in your assessment of the fees charged.

 

So glad it's worked out for you. Just like looking after your own children before they're old enough for school, I also think being able to care for your elderly family is best, and can be a rewarding experience for both. But as you know, these days it's not always possible and a care home is the only solution.

 

I'm sorry you think I might be upsetting people. That was not my intention at all. I have said some homes are good and satisfactory to all concerned, but I still think the cost is prohibitive, and I wouldn't want my own kids to feel obliged to do it.

I think a  lot of elderly people feel that way. I will have had my life thankyou and would much rather the kids have the money instead of it being spent on an old crone who's past her time and has little comprehension of what's going on. With modern medicine old people can be kept alive for years, but with no quality of life worth talking about. 

 

Frankly, if I've still got the strength I'd lob a rock through a jeweller's window, and get done for robbery.  A nice  prison sentence with 3 meals a day, a bed, and plenty of company sounds ok to me, and it's free!  😉 

[Annie Bynnol]

     I knew nothing of Care Homes or the necessary financial assessment until 2016,

     In four years we learnt what was required to get a dementia patient out of the NGH, set up a safe room, bed, bathroom, house and access, Organizing day and waking night relief care, working with healthcare professionals. sorting out diet, laundry and washing, dressing, medicating and on and on every day. 6AM starts, sundown syndrome. added to this the worry of  money and applying for funding.

 

      In preparation for eventualities I visited(without appointed) twenty+ Care Homes throughout Sheffield and evaluated their CQC reports. The variety, suitability and ability to provide the the care for an individual is considerable.

 

      It is clear to anyone who has cared that a comparison between a Care Home and a holiday location, is unrecognizable. 

       

[lavery549@yahoo]

I will not have my Mum in a Nursing Home , she is our Mum , & it's nothing to do with inheritance , it's to do with the fact , it's pay back time . She is our Matriach , our Lady , the one who along with our Dad ,gave us everything we need . We were blessed to have fantastic parents , who nurtured us , show us right from wrong , taught us everything , let us make our own choices , let us become who we are now . So , we will do everything we can to keep Mum safe , it's too late for our Dad , but it isn't too late for our Mum . I have fought like mad to get home after 2 failed discharges from Hospital . Now we have everything in place . I can't fault the care she has now . She ,has got her appetite back , she loves her food again , & yes ,I spoil her . I haven't gone completely hands off , which I could have done , but she encouraged me to become the Nurse I am now . All my training has come in & I find my self using every bit of my career . Be it , Risk Assessing , Prevention of Falls , Infection, Prevention & Control , Health & Safety , I have now registered her details with Yorkshire Ambulance , so if any emergency happens  it's on system . Before , I left the NHS last year , I was 100% on my training . As a Surgical Nurse , I am doing her dressings , because , she has very delicate skin , so bruises & bleeds easily . I have turned my brothers old bedroom into a Clinic . I have the dressings on order from the Community Team , apart from the ones they don't provide , Amazon ,provide those & have me on fast track . I ordered , some Clinical Wipes the other day & they came the same day . So excuse me , if people think the reason I don't want Mum in a Nursing Home is because we won't get our inheritance , think again , If I could turn back time & prevent Mum from getting this awful Dementia , I would , along with our beloved Dad 

[Jim Hardie]

16 hours ago, Anna B said:

I've just visited a very mediocre looking care home, usual set up, residents sat dozing in the lounge, nothing going on.

Out of curiosity when I got home I looked it up on its webpage. I was shocked at some of the reviews which mention bed sores,  falls, refusing beverages, and general poor care. (To be fair there were some good reviews too)

But what really shocked me was the cost. 

 

£1,450 per week!

 

That's £5,800 per month, or £69,800 per year!

How can this possibly be justified?

 

Further investigation showed this to now be what care homes are charging.  Almost £70,000  per person per year for very lacklustre care. 

Just compare that for a moment to the weekly old age pension of £180 per week which is supposed to cover living costs for pensioners' living  in their own  homes.

 

Your thoughts

 

 

 

 

 

State pension is currently £221.20 per week.

https://www.gov.uk/new-state-pension/what-youll-get

 

Anybody on £180 per week should apply for pension credit which tops up their pension and is the gateway for free dentistry, free TV licence, winter fuel allowance and god knows what else.

[Anna B]

27 minutes ago, lavery549@yahoo said:

I will not have my Mum in a Nursing Home , she is our Mum , & it's nothing to do with inheritance , it's to do with the fact , it's pay back time . She is our Matriach , our Lady , the one who along with our Dad ,gave us everything we need . We were blessed to have fantastic parents , who nurtured us , show us right from wrong , taught us everything , let us make our own choices , let us become who we are now . So , we will do everything we can to keep Mum safe , it's too late for our Dad , but it isn't too late for our Mum . I have fought like mad to get home after 2 failed discharges from Hospital . Now we have everything in place . I can't fault the care she has now . She ,has got her appetite back , she loves her food again , & yes ,I spoil her . I haven't gone completely hands off , which I could have done , but she encouraged me to become the Nurse I am now . All my training has come in & I find my self using every bit of my career . Be it , Risk Assessing , Prevention of Falls , Infection, Prevention & Control , Health & Safety , I have now registered her details with Yorkshire Ambulance , so if any emergency happens  it's on system . Before , I left the NHS last year , I was 100% on my training . As a Surgical Nurse , I am doing her dressings , because , she has very delicate skin , so bruises & bleeds easily . I have turned my brothers old bedroom into a Clinic . I have the dressings on order from the Community Team , apart from the ones they don't provide , Amazon ,provide those & have me on fast track . I ordered , some Clinical Wipes the other day & they came the same day . So excuse me , if people think the reason I don't want Mum in a Nursing Home is because we won't get our inheritance , think again , If I could turn back time & prevent Mum from getting this awful Dementia , I would , along with our beloved Dad 

 

Aw, Bless you. Your Mum's a lucky lady to be so loved and well cared for. I love that you 'spoil' her. I wish all families could be so kind and generous, but alas not all are in a position to do so, and certainly don't have your training.  You paint a clear picture of the effort it takes to do it  well, and no doubt you have made considerable sacrifices yourself, including your career. I'm sure you don't begrudge it for a moment, as you say, she is worth it. 

 

I expect for all this care you might receive a pittance called a carers allowance.  For 24/7 care it's about £80 a week.

I hope people Compare that figure to the £1,450 pounds per week, per person, it costs for someone in a care home, and maybe see that something is wrong somewhere. 

 

How can anyone justify such a  discrepancy? 

[Annie Bynnol]

16 hours ago, Anna B said:

i have done. Very lonn and arduous process. Very hard to prove or find the person / people responsible. Very experienced in covering their tracks and putting on a good show for the benefit of QVC inspections. Also CQC reviews are very mixed and diffiicult to read, to pin down the important stuff that really matters. ....

             What are QVC care home inspection? 

             It is the the Care Quality Commission (CQC) that inspect and rate residential care homes and nursing homes.

• Inspections of Care Homes are not pre arranged and can be very intensive and as there are several types of Care Homes -tailored. The team that inspected our Care Home started at 5.45 am for shift change over procedures, for getting residents up from  7 am, cleaning, changing, dressing, bringing down for breakfast, medication procedures,  record keeping, interviewing staff, residents and  relatives and the visiting GP.  Finished at 3pm The reports is structured in a similar to OfSTED and easy to digest.
• When a complaint is made, you are required to make a written  or a recorded statement. A 'clarification' interview can be added, but no change to the original complaint is made. You are not required to prove anything or identify anybody. A log is kept of all complaints.

Two more examples of situations where it is difficult to see the resemblance with reality.

[Delbow]

23 hours ago, Resident said:

 

 

 

One day you'll take those red tinted glasses off and see the truth. 

 

I don't hold my breath that it will be anytime soon. 

 

Rubbish. The Tories' policy on care costs was similar to their policy on no-fault evictions - something they claimed to aspire to, but somehow never got around to.