pattricia Posted yesterday at 13:04 Share Posted yesterday at 13:04 My neighbour has been given 12 months to live. I have to pass her house on my way to the bus stop and she is often in her front garden. I usually say “ Good Morning “ or “ Good Afternoon” but since her diagnosis, what do I say now ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ01 Posted yesterday at 13:43 Share Posted yesterday at 13:43 You could advise her not to take out any annual subscriptions 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gormenghast Posted yesterday at 13:49 Share Posted yesterday at 13:49 Good question Pat, and I can't say I've got any answers. My mother had cancer and lived for about 3 months after the diagnosis. When I visited her I tried to keep off the subject and talk about things that were happening at the time, and things from her past life, where she'd lived, how they lived and what it was like etc. She seemed to enjoy talking about her memories of the past, what it was like living through WW2 and so on. As she became more ill and couldn't move about much it was more a case of just being there with her. Having just typed that I realise that it's not really much of an answer at all. You just have to play it by ear. Sorry I can't be more help. Perhaps there are some bereavement charities that could offer you some more useful advice... More use than the other reply you've just had. GG. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ01 Posted yesterday at 14:02 Share Posted yesterday at 14:02 12 minutes ago, Gormenghast said: Good question Pat, and I can't say I've got any answers. My mother had cancer and lived for about 3 months after the diagnosis. When I visited her I tried to keep off the subject and talk about things that were happening at the time, and things from her past life, where she'd lived, how they lived and what it was like etc. She seemed to enjoy talking about her memories of the past, what it was like living through WW2 and so on. As she became more ill and couldn't move about much it was more a case of just being there with her. Having just typed that I realise that it's not really much of an answer at all. You just have to play it by ear. Sorry I can't be more help. Perhaps there are some bereavement charities that could offer you some more useful advice... More use than the other reply you've just had. GG. I disagree - I've given strong pecunary advice - not flim flam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gormenghast Posted yesterday at 14:13 Share Posted yesterday at 14:13 I answered the question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ01 Posted yesterday at 14:21 Share Posted yesterday at 14:21 8 minutes ago, Gormenghast said: I answered the question. So did I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crisispoint Posted yesterday at 14:50 Share Posted yesterday at 14:50 What's wrong with good morning/good afternoon? Especially if it is, it is very common for people to struggle around both bereavement and terminal illness but get the nasty bit out of the way first, I'm sorry for your loss or in your case I'm so sorry about your illness isn't your garden looking lovely, isn't that a new insert item of clothing of choice, etc. your neighbour may no longer feel normal, but that's no reason to not be normal in your conversations. I think that reads a little trite but I'm struggling to convey that normality is part of life and death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted yesterday at 15:27 Share Posted yesterday at 15:27 Best not to show her too much sympathy, it could have her in tears, be cheerful, if she's in the garden make conversation about that and wait for her response - do not say what flowers do you want at your funeral ? as if.... If you want to talk you know where I am. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ01 Posted yesterday at 18:16 Share Posted yesterday at 18:16 3 hours ago, crisispoint said: What's wrong with good morning/good afternoon? Especially if it is, it is very common for people to struggle around both bereavement and terminal illness but get the nasty bit out of the way first, I'm sorry for your loss or in your case I'm so sorry about your illness isn't your garden looking lovely, isn't that a new insert item of clothing of choice, etc. your neighbour may no longer feel normal, but that's no reason to not be normal in your conversations. I think that reads a little trite but I'm struggling to convey that normality is part of life and death. 100% - just carry on as normal. I don't know why we pussy foot around people dying - we've all experienced someone popping their clogs & we're all going the same way - the person in question just now happens to have an end date. There's no guarantee that any of us will outlast her 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pyrotequila Posted yesterday at 18:44 Share Posted yesterday at 18:44 5 hours ago, pattricia said: My neighbour has been given 12 months to live. I have to pass her house on my way to the bus stop and she is often in her front garden. I usually say “ Good Morning “ or “ Good Afternoon” but since her diagnosis, what do I say now ? Good morning or good afternoon? If she doesn't want to bring it up she won't. Perhaps she doesn't want to be reminded of it constantly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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