stackmonkey Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 well coming from a gay man (thats me), I can probably feel what he is going through right now, "coming out" is not the easiest thing to do, trust me, I`ve been there, and I am sure alot of the other other gay men on here have similar stories as well. How do you handle it ? = he is the same guy as he was before, nothing has changed except you find out now he fancies men, big deal, its the 21st century, it happens. One of those fad things ? = I doubt it, he has probably known for ages he is gay, but kept it to himself, as I have mentioned on other threads, IMO I believe we are born gay, we dont turn gay over night, so he aint gonna change dear, embrase him for who he is. Has he lied to you ? = no he hasn`t, he has trusted you as a friend to "come out" to, and tell you who he really is, thats not easy to do, "coming out" was one of my hardest descisions I ever made, I know it was along time ago, and who I told are stil my friends because they respect me for who I am, and they never felt they were lied to at all. As they said afterwards they would have been lied to if I had never told them that I as gay. Give him a big hug and tell him how much of a friend you lke him, he may need someone close at this time of his life, and by the looks of things, he has chosen you. Do tell us how things turn out please. The Forum is here to help you as well, if you wish you can always PM me. OMG I`ve done a serious post, I knew I could do it what he said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melthebell Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 OMG I`ve done a serious post, I knew I could do it oh bugger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pauly Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Not a peep out of volvo for a bit. That's not a good sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodge Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 What's to handle? He's come out, so what? - he's still your friend, still the same person, and still human. The only difference is he's probably incredibly relieved he doesn't have to hide his sexual preference any more (although I'm guessing there is some level of anxiousness to the reaction of others). Go out for the usual friday night pint, and be as happy for him as if he'd told you any other piece of good news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pauly Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Volvo mate, I'm of the opinion that if you have to ask the question then you're not going to be able to handle it and will probably lose your friend. Maybe you're worried about what your other mates will say when they find out that your pal is gay and you've not kicked him to the kerb. You've not said anything for a while so I'm guessing that you're going to do a Slimsid and not take any of the advice because it's not what you want to hear. Of course I could be wrong though....and I hope so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffystuff Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Get over yourself Volvo. If you really are a friend, you will know how to handle it as you know your friend, whether gay or straight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiderPete Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Not a peep out of volvo for a bit. That's not a good sign. well he is online now, so maybe he might pop into his own thread, and update us all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SafetyPin Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Consider this: your friend may have only recently realised that he's gay. Heterosexuality is seen as a "default" start position to most people, I guess many people assume they're straight until they're old enough to start getting interested in sex and then the confusion starts. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to tell your friends & family (many of whom may be anti-gay) that you're not what they percieve to be "normal". I've NEVER dumped friends who've come out: in fact I'm really pleased they felt they could trust me with that. There are way too many people in this world who think homosexuality is bad/wrong/abnormal/a joke. It's none of the above; it's just another part of who your friend is, just like being straight is part of who you are. As far as I can tell he's not deliberatley hurt you in any way. He's still the same person he always was so you shouldn't worry about him being gay. And besides: hes probably way more worried about how you're reacting to this than you're worried about how you should react. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucymamba Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Don't treat him any differently. My half brother told me he was gay a couple of years ago. If I remember rightly, he told me as we finished dinner, and I was over it by the time we ordered dessert. The only trust issue here is that he trusts you enough to tell you some pretty damn important truths about himself that he may have only recently realised for himself. Be proud he wanted to tell you, and you can be even prouder if you stick by him and be the same friend to him that you always have been. I know that, for whatever reason some people find the whole concept of 'gay' hard to handle... through being totally homophobic to just a little wierded-out by the idea. Especially in someone you might never have realised was gay. But let him know you're cool with it, and get on with things. You'll be surprised how fast you get used to the idae and it won't even seem like an issue anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnvqsos Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Maybe it's the 'trust thing' that made him tell you? Instead of thinking he's decieved you all this time, maybe look on it as has seen you as someone he can trust. I have had friends come out before and I know it is a very difficult thing to do. I hope you manage to keep your friendship What a nice sentiment lee14! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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