super_pie Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 I’ve come into possession of a certain list. A list that a certain rotund gentlemen updates each year, with appropriate details as to who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Needless to say, questions will be asked how to I came into possession of such a list. Well I was doing a little IT contract work at the ‘North Pole’ recently (was shocked to see some of the sites Santa has on IE favorites list!, so don’t get me started), and while I was having a little office affair with one of the elves (she was just 1.5ft of pure wildcat!!) I managed to pilfer a copy of the “N/N List” while hiding in the stationary cupboard. And I’m shocked, I never really knew the big guy was so petty. It seems to take very little to make it on the naughty list. For example I looked up my own entry..... Name- Peter B (otherwise known as Super_pie or Lord Peter “Pete’ Peterson) Verdict: Naughty Reason: This year Peter has still been buying the more expensive brand mayonnaise, despite the store label being much cheaper and practically tasting the same. He still thinks saying “Shizzle My Nizzle” is funny. He refuses to stop spreading cruel and untrue rumors about Rolf Harris. His claim that “He who denied it, supplied it” outranks, “He who smelt it, dealt it” is immature and factually bogus. Suggested Present: A Lump of Coal Sorry, but I can’t believe I made it on the naughty list for that! It’s not just me though. Having read the whole list, its seems pretty much everybody is classed as naughty. Look at these entries... Name- Sheldon Toblerone. Verdict: Naughty Reason: Sheldon has only turned his mattress over twice this year, instead of the recommended four times. He reckless washes colors in with his whites. Considered buying the Daily Mail once this year, when all the other newspapers had sold out. Has been trying to cross breed a cat and wood-pigeon, as a side-project. Thinks a big screen version of “The Jetsons” with Tim Allen in the lead role, would be, as he said “Pretty funny!” Suggested Present: A Lump of Coal Name- Louise Baking Soda . Verdict: Naughty Reason: Recently at an 80’s disco, Lousie did not “Walk this Way”, despite the song specifically suggesting that would be the ideal way to walk. At a party earlier this year, she doubled dipped a chip. She never minds the gap. Thought a little spinkle of Polonium 210 would make the cake more spicy. Read the Nekronomicon and released an ancient evil, long dead for centuries and hungry for human flesh. Failed to realize this was no laughing matter. Suggested Present: A Lump of Coal On top of this, the open-cast coal mine that Santa runs, in order supply the 6 billion lumps of coal he gives to the naughty people of the world, is a gross misuse of our natural resources at a time when, they are so needed. Really Santa; you’ve certainly gone down in my estimation. Anyway, the real reason I started this thread; was in case anybody wanted me to tell them what the list says about you (your all on here, and I belive in openness), just give me a shout below and I’ll reprint whatever the list says about you. Be warned, the list sees everything......... - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarby Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Looks like I'm F****d then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swfcgal Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Looks like I'm F****d then! me 2 Scarby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weenireeni Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 oooh please tell me what list im on!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melthebell Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 *ill get mi coat* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
super_pie Posted December 11, 2006 Author Share Posted December 11, 2006 Name- Scarby (Otherwise known as The self-appointed Leader of Uzbekistan) . Verdict: Naughty Reason: Scarby always leaves people hanging, no matter how high the five! He also refuses to believe in nouns, and thinks that they are part of a big government conspiracy. He sees no reason why we should “Let it Snow, Let it snow”. Is currently planning to re-lauch Whigfield on the pop-charts, with a new Jazz-Ragtime style single Suggested Present: A Lump of Coal Name- swfcgal Verdict: Naughty Reason: Swfcgal is obsessed with “Motley Crue” and has been stalking them for some six years now. Hangs around their respective houses at three in the morning. Silently whispering the words “Forever”. Also believes that ‘Mullets” weren’t that bad a haircut. Suggested Present: A Lump of Coal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swfcgal Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 :hihi: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarby Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 You must be really bored. Whats me old mate Bin_Laden gerrin'? A lump o Polonium? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
super_pie Posted December 11, 2006 Author Share Posted December 11, 2006 Name- Weenireeni Verdict: Naughty Reason: Weenireeni has been guilty of persuading at least six friends that Uranus is pounced “Uran-na-na-nusseuy”. Earlier this year she went to the African serengeti, and painted all the zebras white stripes black, and all the black stripes white. This has caused untold confusion. She apparently never passes the dutchie to the left hand side. Suggested Present: Two Lumps of Coal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
super_pie Posted December 11, 2006 Author Share Posted December 11, 2006 *ill get mi coat* Name- melthebell Verdict: Naughty Reason: Melthbell has been saying “I’ll get my coat” all year long. But has instead been getting other peoples coat's (sneaky, eh?) and selling them in his shop “Coats!, Coats!, Coats!”. He has so far made 3.2 million pounds Suggested Present: He owes us a lump of Coal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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