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I've Got Santa's Naughty/Nice List!!


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I’ve had the press on my back the last day or so. Apparently after reading this thread, a lot of the tabloid editors want a copy of Santa’s full “N/N” list to publish in their newspapers. I’ve given a firm and unequivocal no each time; I believe the good, honest, nice people of the internet deserve first look. I also guess the Sheffield Forum deserves a quick peek aswell…..

 

Which leads me to………..

 

Name-Scoop Verdict: Naughty

Reason: Scoop's watercolour artwork has remained pretty amateurish this year. Despite reading many books and attending a local college course. Her use of form and composition is weak and unfocused. Any kind of symbolism in her picture “Man on Unicycle in a Pond Surrounded by Fear” is lost on me. I also have to admit it is rather irritating that she has to play the theme music to “Vision On" whenever anybody views her artwork. When asked what her favourite style of painting is, replying with “Kittens in a Basket’ism” is generally looked down upon by most art scholars. However her use of DJ2’s new colours smertly and griorg in her art is to be commended.

 

Suggested present:A paint-by-numbers picture featuring a lump of coal.

 

 

Can it be a painying by numbers picture of kittens in a basket, purleese?

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Santa has me working double shifts at the moment, I warned him installing Vista at this time of year, so close to his deliver deadline, would mess up his database. But I’ve just got a few spare minutes to check.....

 

Name- Hockeybear Verdict: Nice

This year hockeybear has been trying to act as peacemaker and middleman in the 20 year “Fonty War”. Trying to bring peace to an area of the middle eastern Internet which has claimed so many lives. He spent many weeks talking with Helvetica, trying to help them find some kind of common ground with their hated enemy Times New Roman. Trying to persuade them that Times New Roman, were nothing to be feared or hated, and that there elegant lettering was in no way a slur against Helvetica's more harsh corners. Likewise he knew if he could persuade Courier to work together with Underlined Arial, that would give him much more leverage in drafting a non-italic treaty with the already dangerous splinter group Helvetica Condensed Bold Italic. Windings was always going to be a troublesome font to try and bring to the peace table, and many say hockeybear made a smart move by refusing to talk to them; leaving them in the political cold and cutting of there support. The violence which broke out in a Microsoft document last week between a few rouge elements of the Copperplate Light font, was a slight setback, but the prospects still look good, and hockeybear should still be rewarded by Santa.

Suggested Present: A Double Spaced Rich Text Document, yet to be Spellchecked

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Superpie, I know this post may probably mean you'll write about me too - but your insanely clever ramblings make me wonder if Jabberwocky is actually quite normal!?:|

 

The thing is, of course I plan to include you on this list, but when I turn to page 185,00178; section 8, where you’re name should be. We find......

 

Name-Lestat Verdict: [-Classified-]

Reason: [This N/N text has been removed by the CIA] [subject is under high investigation]

Suggested Present: [This present is currently been examined by our scientists]

 

Really, I just work here. I don’t want to dig any further than this.

 

 

People who’ve meet me on the meets will tell you, how insanely over-educated and bored this writer can be when he gets stuck behind a keyboard, when he should be working elsewhere

 

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Name- Em2007 Verdict: Naughty

This year we find em2007 is still constantly lying to everybody she knows. What makes it worse, is that the’re not even believable lies. Despite how much she insists, she clearly wasn’t that Chinese guy with the shopping bags standing in front of the tank in Tiananmen Square. “Love, Love Me Do” was a number 1 hit for The Beatles, not em2007 and how many times do we have to tell you, the cartoon show “The Powder Puff Girls” is not based on your life. You simply can’t claim to have invented Belgium. That sign blew over because of the wind, not because you were using “the force” no matter how much you stamp your feet and complain.

Suggested Present: A seat in the houses of parliament...

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Will you do my husband super_pie, he's called Mr Scoop, and my son Scoop jr and find out if FC is going to bring him a battery operated James, cos if not there's going to be big trouble.

 

Are you quite mad? That's classified information :rolleyes:

 

ps what's a battery operated JAMES when it's at home, anyway??

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