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Today - I fell in love with an egg!


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Mini, I think that you should show Omsk some affection. Talk to her. Encourage her out of her shell and hold her to your heart. Do you truly wish to hold on to her? What if someone finds the photograph with your number on it and claims the egg for him/herself. It could be anybody who does that! I think you should keep her. What is the knowledge in which you are separated?

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Omsk lies motionless within her perfect shell. Waiting. When will it be safe to leave this only world that she has known, and discover what awaits her on the other side?

 

Who is the stranger that has brought her to this place? What did he see in her that made him want to bring her to his home? She senses his presence. At other times she is completely alone. When he is there, she feels light penetrate her shell and warm her body. She observes his form in shadow. He moves around her with uncertainty. Is he frightened of her? Does he find her too fragile to touch? She will wait until the time is right before she appears before him. Like a newborn she will emerge from her shell wearing only her flesh. Her flesh, like alabaster will dazzle him as she moves towards him. She is here because of him, and for him. Will he stay?

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Sometimes, I want to wake up and the egg be empty and I will never find out what it is that lies there within the shell. How you will unravel from your shell. It is beyond such a fragile mind.

 

My mother calls. She is worried. I haven’t checked in this week. She misses her baby.

 

I listen to the answer machine play out and I tell it about Omsk. I couldn’t tell the real one. She can’t cope with change.

 

She grew into the fifties, a bright young thing, a socialite; out of a universe of post-war gloom and into the space age. She had a Jackie Kennedy haircut, which changed with the blooming of the sixties and meeting a man who looked like Rock Hudson. His power was a draw to such a fragile bird. He was a statesman and an emperor to her. Then, by the end of that decade I carved my name into her side. And I was here.

 

Did the promise of those long warm summer nights at endless parties, materialize? She swears it did. She clings to it still, in old photos and memories, like she can still taste it. And the blood of the past is still there in the air. She misses her baby.

 

Yet, you are before such matters Omsk as you sleep in the night. Before life with the space race in front of you, I am in orbit around you; waiting for you to land and you pulling me in.

 

Times before you Omsk have faded into cliché. My past crumble in your present. Valentines day 2007 and all is quiet but my heart is at war with itself.

 

I slept with you on the pillow next to me and I had a dream in which my life unraveled itself like my sticky legs were freed and with a SMACK I shouted the room down. It was all there in a hotel, my whole existence within the corridors of this unique world, room after room full of people who I knew or once knew, laughing and living and yet again I was just passing by like a journalist or a ghost. A room for Munich, Rome, Pamplona, Bejing and Omsk. A room for each of my lovers. A room for each of my girlfriends; Elenor , Rachel, Claire, Cathy, Fiona, Sam, Silvia, Angela and Omsk. Could this be heaven? Constantly passing through room after room and each room leads you to another paragraph of you life?

 

I wake up, midnight, a day of no special consequence and I sense my mother is in danger and that’s when I first heard the electronic voices outside the backdoor.

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