Jazzybmzoo Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 You guessed correctly that the vacant seat was beside Mr Warnock - well done! Moving on, what happened to the best signature this forum has ever seen? The Chris Kamara one brought a smile to my face every time I read one of your (ahem, 'misguided') posts! Haa, haa! Cheers mate, I shall accept your praise on Chris' behalf. That won the 'Alan Partridigsm of the Year' in the Daily Mirror last year! Genius. I'll pm you the transcript if you wanna carry on Chris' unique torch... Going through a bit of a Boycott phase, as the man is an unrecognised comedy genius and as such deserves everyone's respect via the medium of SF signatures. etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ousetunes Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Going through a bit of a Boycott phase, as the man is an unrecognised comedy genius and as such deserves everyone's respect via the medium of SF signatures. etc. In that case, shall I change my signature to 'Ah cuddav it that wee a stick o' rhoobaarb'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geocol Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 So Jazzy, you're in the Sahara Desert ... You've just reminded me of a joke that was doing the rounds:- A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, Sister this looks pretty grim." "I know, father." "In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "I agree", says the Father, "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "Anything, Father." "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "Sister, would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. "Father, could I ask something of you?" "Yes, Sister?" "I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?" "I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe. "Oh Father, May I touch it?" This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling, he was sporting a huge erection. "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life." "Is that true father?" "Yes, it is, Sister." "Oh Father that's wonderful, stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhippy Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Haa, haa! Cheers mate, I shall accept your praise on Chris' behalf. That won the 'Alan Partridigsm of the Year' in the Daily Mirror last year! Genius. I'll pm you the transcript if you wanna carry on Chris' unique torch... Going through a bit of a Boycott phase, as the man is an unrecognised comedy genius and as such deserves everyone's respect via the medium of SF signatures. etc. Palin's too much of a legend for me to care whether he's blue and white, or red and white. Anyone who could come up with the great lyric, "So sadly neglected, and often ignored, A poor second to Belgium, when going abroad ......." ........ is a genius. But onto Boycott ........ I think his most infamous bit of commentary was away in Karachi in the "Test In The Dark", on TalkSport. Pakistan's over rate was appalling, and they were clearly spoiling for the draw on the fifth day, which Aggers (I think) duly noted. Geoffrey obviously had a quick look at his watch and declared, even more forthrightly than usual, "This lot are playing for prayers! They're playing for prayers, these!" Apparently, the call to the mosque was just before the scheduled end of the extra hour on the end of the fifth day, or something like that. Geoffrey had decided that if they went off to pray, they wouldn't get back on the field in time ......... how true that would have been, I've no idea, but I remember giggling and cringeing in equal amounts. Whichever way, Thorpe drove a four in near pitch black before he could be proved right or wrong ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzybmzoo Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Palin's too much of a legend for me to care whether he's blue and white, or red and white. Anyone who could come up with the great lyric, "So sadly neglected, and often ignored, A poor second to Belgium, when going abroad ......." ........ is a genius. But onto Boycott ........ I think his most infamous bit of commentary was away in Karachi in the "Test In The Dark", on TalkSport. Pakistan's over rate was appalling, and they were clearly spoiling for the draw on the fifth day, which Aggers (I think) duly noted. Geoffrey obviously had a quick look at his watch and declared, even more forthrightly than usual, "This lot are playing for prayers! They're playing for prayers, these!" Apparently, the call to the mosque was just before the scheduled end of the extra hour on the end of the fifth day, or something like that. Geoffrey had decided that if they went off to pray, they wouldn't get back on the field in time ......... how true that would have been, I've no idea, but I remember giggling and cringeing in equal amounts. Whichever way, Thorpe drove a four in near pitch black before he could be proved right or wrong ........ Brilliant, son! Has anyone seen 'Boycott's Greatest England XI' where he picks himself as number 1! "I think I will be remembered as a classical player with a very fine technique". Game. REAL game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geocol Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 ..But onto Boycott ........ QUOTE] He had some good retorts on the pitch as well. After he'd played and missed at Angus Fraser a few times at Lords in one session; the exasperated bowler turned to him and asked:- “Do you want a bell in it, Grandad”? Boycott’s retort:- “If tha bowled it at Stoomps; then I’d hit it”. Phil Edmonds also had a go at him; with a comment like “He’ll never die of a stroke” or such. Boycott’s retort:- “Listen; I’ve made over 35,000 runs in cricket so I must have played some shots sometime; or all t’ bowling must have been rooobish”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhippy Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 "I resent the fact that my argument has been misrepresented by a pompous prat who obviously has his own personal issues regarding my cricketing record as it compares to his own public school and club career." Geoff Boycott comes out fighting after a "colleague" criticised his comments regarding Duncan Fletcher and the England coaching job "This idea that umpires are always right is a load of old cobblers. What I want to know is: Who umpires the umpires? The players suffer from their mistakes, but no one ever seems to get rid of the umpires themselves. Being an umpire is a people job: that's why Dickie Bird was good at it. Yes, he was a loony, and he made mistakes - everyone does. But he knew how to deal with people, so they respected him." Straight talking from Geoff Boycott "The only way they'll get a wicket is if the ball hits a brick in the middle of the pitch ... it wouldn't frighten me mum, this bowling." Geoff Boycott with his take on the Sri Lankan attack Three from last year, courtesy of Cricinfo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzybmzoo Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 "I resent the fact that my argument has been misrepresented by a pompous prat who obviously has his own personal issues regarding my cricketing record as it compares to his own public school and club career." Geoff Boycott comes out fighting after a "colleague" criticised his comments regarding Duncan Fletcher and the England coaching job "This idea that umpires are always right is a load of old cobblers. What I want to know is: Who umpires the umpires? The players suffer from their mistakes, but no one ever seems to get rid of the umpires themselves. Being an umpire is a people job: that's why Dickie Bird was good at it. Yes, he was a loony, and he made mistakes - everyone does. But he knew how to deal with people, so they respected him." Straight talking from Geoff Boycott "The only way they'll get a wicket is if the ball hits a brick in the middle of the pitch ... it wouldn't frighten me mum, this bowling." Geoff Boycott with his take on the Sri Lankan attack Three from last year, courtesy of Cricinfo Sheer game! What can you say? Check out the pic I have as my desktop. Reminds me of Blackadder, General Melchett, "No darling, it would be as fruitless as trying to teach a woman the value of a good forward-defensive stroke." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzybmzoo Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 A guy on here actually has this as his signature...so credit due... Apparently, in the 80s, when a young, successful & very hairy Ian Botham was breaking into the England team, if the current bowling attack wasn't having much joy, Boycc's would pipe up from slip, "Get t'Gorilla on. Go on, get t'Gorilla on!" Game (just look at his face for ****s sake)! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lestat Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 I'm sure this thread was somehow related to Michael Palin.....not Mr Boycott?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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