Story: 'Better late than never.'

[mikomi]

Here is my contribution for June a little late i know

 

Better late than never.

[pattricia]

Here is my contribution for June a little late i know

 

 

 

http://www.communitynet.org.uk/SFStoryArchive/1183241636.doc

 

I like the narrative in this mikomi. Your language just conveys how I imagine the drug scene to be like.

[Mantaspook]

Very well done Mikomi, the narrative has a very authentic ring to it and the descriptions were just right for creating the squalid, horrible world that the drug dealer inhabits.

 

It was interesting that the narrator stated very early on that “he doesn’t care” what happens to his victims and this contrasts with his actions later on in the story when he tells the kid to get out of the car, this is the whole crux of the story and I think it needed a few extra sentences to give an insight into his motives for letting the kid out.

 

As agreed Dave and his mates are on time and they get in the car ready to party they’ve all been drinking and no doubt had the odd ecstasy to get in the mood of things. I look at the kid sitting on the end of the seat he must be fourteen or fifteen I asked, Marty who the kid is, he says it’s some friend of his brothers that needs to earn a bit of money.

 

I look at the kid, he’s trying to stay calm but his hands are trembling, he’s clearly out of his depth, flailing helplessly as the plug has been pulled from underneath him, the vortex is pulling him he about to be dragged down into the sewers and there is nothing he can do.

 

On the one hand it would be a good thing to let this happen, after all this knowledge may be useful as leverage if I ever come up against his lordship in a professional capacity, but even the lowest scumbag dealer, some of us anyway, still have some morals that even my esteemed lord should have recognised as…. necessary.

 

“Stop the Car!” I shout. The driver pulls over.

 

I point to the kid “This is where you get out...”

 

Overall a very good story, I think I would have hinted that the drug dealer is obliged to follow orders from the next dealer further up the chain and that the threat of violence could apply to him also.

 

Good work

 

(PS One small typo I noticed: the judge presides over the case, not resides)