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Mid 40s blues or what.


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This weekend i met up with a two mates in seperate places and both i had,nt seen for years.

The mates i saw were also big mates of each other who had not seen each other for years either.

Both had married girls who were mates and all used to go clubbing together in the 70s.

Both were in a sorry state because both wifes had recently left them because there partners simply said they do not love them anymore.

Now after 26/27 years of marriage i find that a bit harsh but both mates cheered up a little bit when i explained that the other mates wife had also left, neither knew of each others fate.

Now what is it what makes someone leave a marriage after all those years leaving behind all those good times which i can back up because they have simply had enough.

As far as i am aware no other person in both cases were involved.

My mates were depressed and its alright saying theres plenty of fish in the sea, non of them wanted to start night clubbing and starting all over again.

Its not like they had a short relationship and its not worked out.

So my question is 'What is it with women in there mid 40s to do that to what has always been a good marriage'.

Are you in your 40s and feel the same way, or is it middle age panic and think the grass may be greener on the other side before its to late.

I don't want to get to personal with your replys as i know if you relate to what i,ve just said it would be hard to admit but i particulary want to hear from members in there 40s and over.

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You didn't mention whether they had kids. It could be that the kids have grown up and the women have turned round to find a total stranger living in their house. The period during which the kids were growing up may have had different effects on the husband and wife. Suddenly, without the children, they have nothing in common.

 

Many of our friends who have had children are now separated.

 

I don't profess to know all the answers but having had children seems to be the common thread.

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After 20 yrs. two children, wifes long illness, at 42 yrs.wife left because grass was greener, 17 yrs. later tried to come back, husband said no, when left a beautifull woman, came back a fat dirty slob, end of story.!!!

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Perhaps they want more from life than they are getting :(

 

After a lifetime of being somebody's wife, mother, cook, cleaner, personal shopper etc etc it might be time to reassert herself again.

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......There could be all sorts of reasons why women leave.....some blokes take women for granted.......also the women may have just fallen out of love with them...it happens

 

It works both ways......some blokes leave after years of marraige...s*** happens.

 

Me thinks because people live longer they have to put up with eachother longer too....so it takes its toll

 

 

 

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Originally posted by Mo

Perhaps they want more from life than they are getting :(

 

After a lifetime of being somebody's wife, mother, cook, cleaner, personal shopper etc etc it might be time to reassert herself again.

What about the poor bloke whos worked his guts off to provide her and his children with a home, if he had done the same thing he would be branded heartless, a deserter and coshed with a legal bill to go along with it.
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I'm not 40 but have been through a relationship that finally ended in the realisation that I just didn't love him.

I really honestly do not know why, because I remember when I met him thinking - this is it!! This is the one.

 

Everything was perfect, we sorted out disagreements and despite him being catholic and me a new ager (at that point) generall we worked round everything. We then hit one of the most traumatic, emotionally draining horrible experiences of my life.

One I don't wish to repeat.

 

When we came out the other side, we were completely different people -particularly me. I tried for my son to make it work, but when I was asked the question do you still love each other - I just couldn't answer yes because suddenly I didn't.

 

I do not know if this applies to women in their forties, your attitudes to things seem to change. I guess I might have an idea in 15 years time.

 

Moon Maiden

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Originally posted by halevan

After 20 yrs. two children, wifes long illness, at 42 yrs.wife left because grass was greener, 17 yrs. later tried to come back, husband said no, when left a beautifull woman, came back a fat dirty slob, end of story.!!!

 

And men don't turn into beer bellied, bald fat slobs then????

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Originally posted by The Cycleracer

What about the poor bloke whos worked his guts off to provide her and his children with a home, if he had done the same thing he would be branded heartless, a deserter and coshed with a legal bill to go along with it.

 

Why have you got this thing about women doing a bunk Cycleracer? Men do it too you know ;)

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