Livewirex Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 As a straight man, I'm often still somewhat amazed that so many other (apparently straight) men find gay men and gay sexuality in general something to ridicule or fear. I've had a couple of brief experiences of 'gayness' for want of a better word - one with a gay man, one with a straight man - I enjoyed both episodes, accept that they occured and feel secure and happy enough about it to be talking about it on SF. I wonder how many of those who post negatively about homosexuality have ever had such experiences and whether they might feel differently about gay people if they had? Any thoughts? Sounds Fishy to me. Why do you ask?:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richjob Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 ok, so if a gay person spent 20 years in a straight relationship and then came out, would they be gay or bi? personally i think they'd be gay, despite having a history (and maybe even children) in straight relationships. the converse to that is that like halibut, i think that having dabbled doesn't make you bi... to be bi, surely you have to have an ongoing interest in both genders? personally i'm straight, but have *ahem* danced provocatively *ahem* with female friends in the past, entirely because of the male attention that you get from it. does squeezing a mate's breasts make me bi? no, of course not. I have a friend who is in his 50's, he was married for many, many years and has two children that he loves dearly, and they love him and he never cheated on his wife, after getting divorced he has led a totally gay lifestyle and if you were to ask him how HE would describe his sexuality it is GAY. I also have a friend who is in his 40's and has three children and is getting civil partnered to a man who has two children and a grandson, he is now divorced from his wife and both him and his new partner describe themselves as GAY. Both were straight whillst married. Sexuality is like all things in a human being, it has the potential to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Templeman Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 i think you can go from straight to bi and/or gay and gay to bi but once you have crossed the line thats what you are and you cant go back to being straight even if you dont commit any gay/bi acts again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny5 Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 in what way do you define 'sexual experience' then? in what way is squeezing someone's boobies not one? i didn't get my kicks from it, but that doesn't mean i wasn't partaking of a sexual experience, even if it was for display purposes only. Call me naive, but I don't think that Halibuts 'experience' was for a display for luring in the opposite sex.. If, for want of a better of a better phrase, you can be turned on by the same sex (for example, do thoughts of the same sex enter your mind when you are having *ahem* a little me-time?), then you are likely bi-sexual. If you pursue these impulses, then its a done deal. What baffles me is why such a self confessed 'open minded' thinker such as Halibut would deny this to himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babychickens Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 i would say that a sexual experience is something to get kicks from but doing what you describe is just done for a laugh same as a bloke might grab another one by the nuts. doing it to get aroused or to arouse someone sexually through physical contact is different matter altogether, we have to ask Halibut for his definition of sexual experience tho. so a man who fathered children in a straight relationship (and i'm assuming he enjoyed himself sufficiently to produce children) and who later comes out as gay, would, by your definition (which seems to be based on enjoyment rather than actually partaking) be bi rather than gay, even though he would no longer show an active interest in women? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Templeman Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 so a man who fathered children in a straight relationship (and i'm assuming he enjoyed himself sufficiently to produce children) and who later comes out as gay, would, by your definition (which seems to be based on enjoyment rather than actually partaking) be bi rather than gay, even though he would no longer show an active interest in women?not sure about that one but he's definately not straight, bit of a grey area between gay and bi but there definately isn't between straight and the others thats very clear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banesmabes Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 i think the fact that someone even considers trying same sex experience indicates that they are bisexual even if they decide that it isn't for them after the experience. most hetero men wouldn't even think of trying it as they are repulsed by the idea. That is not to say that there is anything wrong with the minority who are not repulsed its just that they are homosexual or bisexual and simply have a different mindset to a person who is heterosexual. But many gay men have had 'straight' sexual experiences with women, particularly in their youth. Does that mean they're not really gay, they're bi - even though they don't have sexual relationships with women any more? If it only takes one same sex experience to make a straight person bi, then surely the same must apply to gay people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunzi Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 i think you can go from straight to bi and/or gay and gay to bi but once you have crossed the line thats what you are and you cant go back to being straight even if you dont commit any gay/bi acts again You make it sound as if being gay is an incurable disease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babychickens Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 i think you can go from straight to bi and/or gay and gay to bi but once you have crossed the line thats what you are and you cant go back to being straight even if you dont commit any gay/bi acts again i was on the football team once...does that mean i will always be on the football team? no, of course it doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Templeman Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 But many gay men have had 'straight' sexual experiences with women, particularly in their youth. Does that mean they're not really gay, they're bi - even though they don't have sexual relationships with women any more? If it only takes one same sex experience to make a straight person bi, then surely the same must apply to gay people?as I said in previous post difference between gay and bi is a grey area but strictly speaking anyon e who has ever done both is bi even tho they may purport to now be either straight or gay because they are only concerned with one sex. A person who has only ever had straight relationship is hetero and person only had homosexual is gay, a bi has had or is still having both. But a person will tend to say what they are at this particular time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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